The man on this week's episode of #JJHO trying to demand his wife move Passover to Saturday & cook it & Easter on back to back days with literally no help from him because he whines about even doing the damn dishes is making me want to never cook a holiday meal for a man again in my life.

GOD FORBID A GIRL HAVE HOBBIES

Everything is so expensive all of the time. I know I'm not original in saying this but like. What are we supposed to do.

Block people who annoy you and be comfortable admitting that that’s what you’re doing and you have a right to it. Because the alternative is believing that you have to justify the block and the other person is a bad person. You’d have to stretch their misdeeds from annoyance to crime.

I'm running in 2028 on a platform to place every "alt"-account poster in a Supermax prison

My kid is completely obsessed with these tiny plastic bottles of Cranberry Cosmo mixer I've had kicking around forever and her pretending to chug them is very funny. I'm sure this is fine.

All I can add to the Temperature Discourse is living somewhere where it is not unheard of to hit both 100F and like -20F in the same year really helps you understand the infrastructure, both personal and systemic, needed to survive both extremes. And if you're not built for them, you're simply not.

Shut the fuck up (f)Thursday!

If someone from the FBI visits you about your algae posts the correct thing to do is to say you won’t talk with them. Please do not talk to the FBI. Like, at all. They have no sense of humor and they will take your stupid joke and charge you with lying to an agent.

Ok and here's the thread for me! First up, having fun's not hard when you've got a library card (or four)! Big recommend to find libraries in your state or area that don't require you to live in their city for digital access. #piratereadingclub

Yelling at clueless men on reddit call that self care.

Leo drop the AO3.

Viggo Mortensen didn't break a toe and use his scream of pain to add a dramatic element to a scene so you could tell me that AI is inevitable.

My mom playing Raffi for the kid meanwhile I've got her singing Wait for Me from Hadestown unprompted. We are not the same 😂

Nael, age 6, did not write the quintessential poem about a tiger escape so you could tell me that AI is "inevitable."

What we are Not doing tonight is even *beginning* Brendan Frasier's arc on this Scrubs rewatch and instead we are going to sleep. Call that self care.

can’t believe a narcissist is being so publicly humiliated by a reflecting pool

I resent the video-fication of podcasting. That's just a TV show. Podcasts aren't supposed to be for hot people. They have everything else

they have it across from the giant Ferris wheel so it looks extra shrimpy omg I am crying

I know this has been pointed out many times by many people but I just want to reiterate: Anthropic is basically using Kurt Vonnegut's drawing of an asshole as the Claude logo

I'm doing this myself but also #babypiratereadingclub again! As she is 2.5 she is even more demanding than last year so it will be even weirder. As before, these are just books we read together, not what she's flipping through when she's minding her own business or with others. #piratereadingclub

My god. Open the schools.

Me. Visiting the Reflecting Pool

Waiting for my algaefa check to hit my account

Sometimes people ask why I'm so vehemently anti-AI and I get to tell them to imagine how it feels to have everyone in power - and a lot of people in your life in general - think a computer destroying your career and doing the work terribly and wrecking the planet in the process is a Good Thing.

I tried to take Rise and Fall of the Third Reich from my toddler to read it to her for nap because she screamed until she got it, and she cried "NO, REICH!!!" and grabbed it back, so that's how my day is going. #babypiratereadingclub

"Eat your yogurt, it will make your booboo better" and other unhinged things you have to say to a toddler to get through the morning.

Early Scrubs......... Is not the best!

if your dad sucks let me—an actual dad—use father's day to tell you what I think every child deserves to hear from their parents: I'm proud of you, and so glad you're figuring out how to survive this messy world. The world is better with you in it. This is extra true if you're trans.

Happy Father's Day to Izzy Hands

I'm a mom but I can also be your dad today if you need it, I'm not picky. Let's go to a baseball game and have a beverage of your choice and I'll tell you I'm proud of you (I am).

With alt text

Hello! It is the solstice, the 21st, it begins today! +

given what’s going on with the reflection pool, i assume whatever gets built of the ballroom is going to look like groverhaus

Give these people a Pulitzer.

The dramatics of my child when I have to wake her up from a nap as though she has not spent the last two and a half years routinely waking me up multiple times a night. This is what we do to each other, kid.

My favorite thing about the recent Mickey cartoon and shorts on Disney+ is that more than half of them are about how fucking obnoxious Mickey is. Teach them young!

Operation Antifa Algae

This is the perfect description of why I drag myself through books and TV shows and whatever that I am actively despising. 😂

The Picture of Dorian Gray

If Aziraphale is Pooh, Crowley is Rabbit send post

Shift drink: Reflecting Pool 1oz rum 1oz mezcal .75oz lime .75oz honey barspoon matcha muddled mint

Seeing this movie around the same time your actually read Romeo and Juliet is a *very* specific generational calling card that I’m more than happy to carry

Attempting to explain the Disney+ outage to a child screaming for Coco.

The child has now latched onto an old paperback copy of Pale Fire that proudly proclaims in several places on the back that it is "Funnier than Lolita!"

The most stressful part of this parenting era is her absolutely SCREAMING something and it just simply not being an English word. I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU WANT I WOULD GIVE IT TO YOU IF I DID

I said it before but this is my new Stuck Boat. I am riveted. This and World Cup tourists discovering Tex-Mex and ranch dressing are the only news I care about.

As luck would have it, Sean from New York, who used to work for a pool company, was nearby to talk about this blue stuff.

Who among us hasn't been worried when we've had a spouse leave for a hike and say they're never coming back

The Cylinder Must Remain Unharmed (2028) starring Timothee Chalamet