Delaying this to 7 PM. Still happening! Shemp Lives!

Doing my second Shempfield stream Thursday before I go on vacation. Shemp finally has a shotgun. Will he ever get to use it or will he be sent on more errands to push buttons? Will he join the space cops? Will he kiss robot? Find out Thursday at 6PM CT! Twitch.tv/Creativehorrorstreams

Hair and beard update

This was supposed to be ‘January 15th’. As in this Thursday. Oops.

Haha what if once every two weeks on twitch.tv/creativehorrorstreams I started streaming something like, I dunno STARFIELD as the new adventures of Shemp. That’d be crazy. Especially if the first time I did it was like, January 25th at around 6 PM CT. That’d be NUTS.

Rumors are that Chris Jericho’s family may have accidentally let slip about his return to WWE being much sooner than you think! To find out more just google ‘Chris Jericho Wife January 6th’

OPERATION THROBBING WAND OPERATION BACKDOOR DELIGHT OPERATION BIG TWITCHING GLISTENING COCK

Everyone go listen to Candy Licker.

Good news about Ghost of Yotei. I was worried what with wolves being your characters thing in this game that we’d miss out on the side missions where you give foxes headpats. The fox headpats are STILL IN TEN OUT OF TEN BEST SEQUEL.

At the very least I appreciate when this year takes a quick break from being terrible to do something very very silly.

“You used to be able to say anything” comedians never been more quiet in their lives

There have been no game-breaking glitches. Only hilarious ones. GOD SENT ME MY CAR

Okay I got it to happen again.

Anyway, now for my Ted Talk about how Goro Takemura should be my boyfriend.

Also I did a finisher with the gorilla arms where I uppercut a guys head off and I don’t know if the guy being frozen like this is a glitch because I can’t make it happen again but if it’s on purpose it’s actually kind of awesome.

Been playing Cyberpunk and got to the mission where it said ‘Hey, heres a bunch of stuff from the show’ so I figured I should probably watch the show. Cyberpunk Edgerunners is a 10/10 show and also I was unprepared for how relentlessly sad it was. Like from beginning to end.

“I’ve 100% never read the book or even a brief summary of the book or even spoken to someone who has read the book.” -Someone presumably paid actual money to review movies

“Well that movie was fucking metal.” #Weapons

Brilliant.

FACT™️: when the beach boys sang "round round get a round i get a round" it turns out they just forgot the word for pizza

I can see this gif getting a lot of use today.

Playing through the Alan Wake games and rewatching Twin Peaks and just in general drinking black coffee and talking to myself.

I’m the kinda person that doesn’t believe in ghosts but would also absolutely never in a million years go on a traveling tour with the notoriously haunted doll that kills people.

I have no acceptable excuse for why my #2 most listened to song on Apple Music is a Turquoise Jeep song. It is a banger though.

But Black Dynamite, I sell drugs to the community

nevertheless Lucas insisted "jizz" wasn't meant to scan dirty, but simply as a SciFi-ification of "jazz." "In my mind," he often said, "the Cantina Band have that same kind of malleable tempo, you know: sloppy seconds."

There is a higher-than-zero percent chance that the new Pope has tasted Malort.

If there’s one thing I know about Peter Pan, that son of a bitch LOVES standing with his fists on his hips

If you replaced Luke Skywalker and Han Solo with Kyle Katarn and Dash Rendar, The original Trilogy would’ve been 45 minutes long, tops.

HELL 👏🏻 YES 👏🏻 A 👏🏻 R 👏🏻 G 👏🏻 WEB 👏🏻 SITE 👏🏻 FOR 👏🏻 A 👏🏻 FILM 👏🏻 I 👏🏻 WAS 👏🏻 AL 👏🏻 REA 👏🏻 DY 👏🏻 PUMPED 👏🏻 FOR 👏🏻

The fun thing about me trying to become a ‘Nu-Metal video Essayist’ is that I get to call the four times I listened to the Breaking Benjamin song from Halo 2 today ‘research’

I post exclusively about Limp Bizkit now.

I wish I had the confidence of 2000 Fred Durst who got in the booth with DMX, Method Man, and Redman on the Rollin remix and was like ‘Yeah, I can definitely hang with all these guys’

If you’re a non-wrestling fan and have a longtime wrestling fan in your life, here’s a fun thing to do if you’re bored: You can make them weirdly emotional by playing the song ‘My Way’ by Limp Bizkit around them.

I seem to remember these things being billed as ‘indestructible’.

12 PM CT today I am doing a 24-Hour Twitch stream raising money for The Trevor Project. Swing by and keep me sane. We’ve got Boomer Shooters, Indie Horror, Supermarket Simulator, and Mass Effect Andromeda on the schedule. Twitch.tv/creativehorrorstreams

Poe Standards? Poe Money, Poe Problems? Me and @beastbannon.bsky.social continue our look at Poe’s “worst” with a slightly less-entertaining story that is still a fascinating read. youtu.be/r8nDfOSuSDQ?...

Inside you there are two wolves.

Oh yeah I almost forgot: me and @beastbannon.bsky.social read what some rando on the internet considers an F-tier Poe story. It’s definitely weird, imaginative for sure, and fails to stick the landing for us. But we have a grand old time reading it. youtu.be/gXk6qCctobY?...

New UCA had me, @beastbannon.bsky.social, @quarterbakesale.bsky.social and special guest Brad returning to the weird and wonderful work of shortstory1. If you’re not familiar, you can read along with us. They’re fascinating youtu.be/oiVWztBfdIA?...

Just a random picture for no reason.

‘The new Doom is woke because it has difficulty settings’ is the latest take over on that other app I only still use to get wrestling news and like… just…

‘Punching a Nazi’? don’t be silly. I would never do that. It’s a ‘Roman High Five’.

Being autistic doesn’t make you Nazi salute. It DOES however make me do the @kennyomegamanx.bsky.social ‘goodbye and goodnight’ fingerguns thing every time I stretch out to yawn.

Most things are bad. Almost all of the things are bad, it feels like. I feel bad. I made poutine.

Never get tired of reading these Doctor Satan stories with my long-suffering cohosts @beastbannon.bsky.social and @quarterbakesale.bsky.social. What they are and what we make of the pulp antics turns these into a joy to read and they only get weirder as we go. #hextherich youtu.be/30R1TjNyzEk?...

I’m so freaking excited.

Best games I played in 2024 (not all RELEASED in 2024) were Selaco, Marvel Rivals, Alan Wake, Helldivers 2, Selaco again, Far Cry Blood Dragon, Doom Inifinite (A great Roguelike Mod for Doom) Blood, Blood: Death Wish, Supermarket Simulator, Selaco one more time, and Disco Elysium. Also, Selaco.

If there's one thing trump hates it's people who he feels are trying to steal his spotlight and if there's one thing elon can't help but do it's try to steal the spotlight and it's going to be so funny when trump kicks him to the curb