The onion has forgotten that they’re satire again. But it’s fitting because NYT and WaPo have forgotten they’re supposed to be journalism.

So our insurance tried to deny my 3 year old amoxicillin for an ear infection last week. The pharmacist had to call and argue with them. For a med that had been standard for decades for an illness that every child gets. But tell me again about how American healthcare is the best.

My 3-year-old has to be the only kid in America waiting not for Santa Claus in the @6abc.bsky.social Thanksgiving day parade—but @kenjennings.bsky.social . (He then demanded we listen to old episodes of Jeopardy all the way to his great grandmother’s house.)

ICE’s undercover officers in plainclothes abducted Sindi Moreno while she was leaving to drop her daughter off at elementary school in Houston. The agent in civilian clothing assaulted and attempted to kidnap Sindi as she and her child desperately fought him off.

Know anyone looking for a bargain on a big house in Howard County MD? My grandparents’s house is going on the market this coming Friday! It’s a beautiful property, and a great place for gathering family and friends! Check out the listing here: www.zillow.com/homedetails/...

Ready for tomorrow! #nokings

OMG this sleep regression is going to kill me. Kid. Sleep.

The same administration that posts website landing pages and out of office messages specifically blaming Democrats for the shutdown considers an employee’s display of a desk flag a year ago, before Trump took office, to be objectionably political.

former spirtual advisor to jeffrey epstein's best friend donald trump

Reminder: By Dems want “healthcare for illegal aliens” they mean “won’t let undocumented people bleed out in the ER because they don’t have papers.”

In which a top US Border Patrol official, incredibly, tells my tall and Anglo colleague @chipmitchell1.bsky.social that he's not the type they're looking for as they go about downtown Chicago arresting people based on "how they look" chicago.suntimes.com/immigration/...

I know for a fact that Antifa is not an organization because I don't get emails from them asking for money.

I want you all to know that Lexapro made me gay. I started taking lexapro around the same time I started coming out. My best guy friend surmised that it was a side effect of my new medication. And you know it’s true because he’s a doctor*. . . . . . . Of physics. #tylenol #autism

Jimmy Kimmel isn't returning to the airwaves because of "thoughtful conversations" with Disney executives. He's back because consumers sent Disney a clear message: selling out our fundamental rights is not an acceptable cost of doing business.

I know antifa isn't a real organization because I don't get 40 texts a week from them asking for donations.

I want to be clear. No one is mad that Jimmy Kimmel was canceled because he’s him. His fans are probably disappointed but that’s not why people are freaking out. We are freaking out because the government threatened his company with destruction if they didn’t fire him. 1/2

“.. The broadly worded proposal, which would legally authorize the president to kill people he deems narco-terrorists and attack countries he says helped them ..” @nytimes.com www.nytimes.com/2025/09/19/u...

Isn't it crazy that the leader of our country is able to get comedians fired for their jokes? Pic unrelated

He didn’t even say anything that isn’t established fact. And it’s the FCC threatening the network. Are we great yet?

Brian Kilmeade wants to murder unhoused Veterans then?

Good lord it just keeps getting worse

Was coming here to say this but he said it better

We know. We’ve known. We’ve fought. Don’t let MAGA own the narrative. We know and we do not consent. This is a willful descent into tyranny and genocide on the part of Trump’s supporters.

…Don't get me wrong - I'm thankful for the #Halfaschism of Trump & his moronic MAGA minions. If they had their isht together, we'd all be in even worse trouble. But JFC… what a bunch of pathetic losers they are.

Know your rights, Illinois. Stay safe and stay informed.

We are now confronted with an occupant of the White House determined to wage war against us, we, the people. This cannot stand.

WTF Karen?? You missed it. He picked it up. FOR HIS KID. It was fair game and your behavior is vile. I hope the #phillies reach out to the family and makes it right. @phillies.com www.facebook.com/share/v/1BDo...

New game for #toddler parents, courtesy of my wife: Don’t skip the commercials. Ask your toddler what each one is about. Instant entertainment for everyone involved! (For instance, the LiMu Emu commercial with the limo is about airplanes.)

Turnover after a BS call? I want to say it’s the universe balancing, but I’ve been a #phillyfan too long to trust that. #Eagles

Aaaand now our guy is holding like he’s trying to rip the dude’s jersey off. WFT #eagles? Get it together! Don’t play the fool against the Cowboys of all people. #phillyfan

Are you kidding me??? Dude tried to rip our guys head off and dragged him around by his helmet! How was he not ejected? #eagles

I missed the first six seconds of the game and we’re down two guys. Now less than five minutes in Dallas has a TD. F*ck. #eagles #phillyfan

DESCRIPTION: self-described alpha male, wearing body armor, assault rifle, and wraparound sunglasses because he’s “afraid of nothing.”

This is insanity. This is the sign of a government that has lost its mind.

I don’t want to hear it, Mets’ fans. I don’t f*cking want to hear it. #why #phillies

Giving my first eulogy tomorrow, for my wonderful Pop-pop. I can’t turn my brain off. I can’t sleep. I’m not being very successful at crying more than a few tears at a time. www.legacy.com/us/obituarie...

Police have set up a checkpoint and appear to be stopping every single car on 14th st NW, between W+V, here in northwest DC. Some cars are being pulled over after being stopped. Some police are wearing “HSI police” vests (Homeland Security Investigations)

This is making the rounds again, and you know why…

Our team had fun being piratey at #ILTACON2025 last night! Come visit Hana Zumout, and @ivybgrey.bsky.social today and see what the newest WordRake updates have to offer!

Facismnesia: Every time he does a new fascist thing, everyone goes "OMG, this is it - here's the fascism!" Somehow they've magically forgotten the 10 fascist things he's already done. He sent people, including American citizens, to foreign gulags with no due process! Facismnesia.

Obergefell v. Hodges made me believe in the whole "arc of history bends towards justice." In the 90s, I didn't think gay marriage would be legalized in my lifetime because homophobia was so deeply ingrained. We would have never gotten here without the decision and now it may be overturned.

Is anyone getting better at working through the escalating collapse of American democracy? I feel like I should be getting better at compartmentalizing but here I am, thinking about martial law in the nation’s capital.

So, no national guard on January 6th, but definitely on August 11th. Makes total sense.

Imagine if Kamala had done this. www.theguardian.com/us-news/2025...

Whether you supported Trump because he was going to expose the deep state pedophiles or because he was going to lower prices or because he was going to make IVF available, he really wants you to know you are a unbelievable mark and he’s going to hit you up again.

“Don’t want to hear your problems ‘Cause there’s just one in my head— And he can’t get out of bed.” AJR