Sounds like I might have some physical labor manufacturing job lined up for after I get laid off. Not optimal but it’ll be an income and will be exercise and if something better crops up between now and then I can disregard it

I swear to god it’s taking every ounce of willpower to not just quit this fucking job and smash the laptop with a hammer

Applying for jobs is nearly as bad as working my job

Wish my boobs were bigger

I hate my job id rather get ran over by a bus than deal with this shithole because either way I wouldn’t have to talk to customers anymore

Getting that parasite back in my brain that’s telling me to try and fast as long as possible as not eating would save money on groceries and gives me a sense of control over my life

My boobs hurt

I do not want to go to a gym to work out because 1) money 2) I don’t like people seeing me sweat 3) I don’t want to use a gym locker/shower room

Need to sit down and figure out a good fitness and exercise routine I can do in my tiny apartment beyond exercise bike don’t think I can put a pull up bar anywhere in this apartment for example but I want to get in shape to look better because vanity is my second worst deadly sin

Really need to get money together and I’m looking at selling my retro game collection for a 2nd time in my life but I’m hella apprehensive because it was a long process getting back to where I am now and I couldn’t afford to rebuild a 3rd time with the costs of everything 🙁

Had a dream I won $10k in a lottery now I feel bad because goddamn that would be a life saver to have right now lol

Gonna try to do some self improvement stuff to stop wallowing in misery constantly and have a goal lol. Gonna try to: * At least 45 minutes of exercise daily * 1 hour reading daily * Minimum 1.5 hours of school work daily * Minimum 1 hour of certification study daily * Try to go to bed by 10pm

I would be remiss not to point out that "Tricking Milli Vanilli into performing a concert for a dictator" is LITERALLY a storyline from the 1990s 'Super Mario Bros 3' cartoon 🙃

My cat is purring, sniffing, and doing a question mark tail which only means one thing She’s gonna bite me

Managed to look in the mirror for 15 seconds thinking I looked nice before I started tunneling hard in all my flaws

How many potatoes are in a 5 pound bag because I can probably cook maybe 5 at a time in my toaster oven and I’m looking at those to put beans on to substitute rice. I usually cook, wrap in foil, then potato time take out of freezer and pop back in toaster oven

At least I can hug my slowpoke plush when I’m in bed trying to sleep

Apples are good

I’m ugly

Maybe I’ll get a job that pays better but also I’m just as likely to hit the lottery

Could always fast a couple days a week would definitely curb grocery cost if I don’t eat a day or two a week lol

Looking at my food log for today to see where I can cut calories tomorrow. If I eat less means less grocery expenditure. Got it down to 1250 and this should be a good baseline to see if I can cut expenses more or, if needed, titrate up to where I’m functioning physically

Ended up eating the biscuit by itself I really enjoy warm bread

back in my day we called this a “keylogger”

I should probably eat food. Gonna make a frozen biscuit to crumble in my beans and rice I think

I really just wanna be held rn lmao

I love knowing how unimportant I am to everyone irl and I’m basically just an attachment people can attach or remove at will and if I don’t play my part perfectly can be disposed of to zero loss

Just lying here trying not to cry lmao I’m just feeling really lonely right now and I should touch grass but I have nowhere to go and nothing to do anyway

Just feeling alone and isolated today

I want to feel pretty but I’m ugly

Maybe I should take the salacious lascivious pictures of myself with my phone and hide them in a hidden folder so I don’t accidentally text them to people lol

Ugh I’m just feeling hella lonely tonight and I can’t sleep

For whomst’ve’d the bell tolls

Was looking at my butt in the mirror earlier and I need to get a good exercise routine besides pedal exercise bike and walking because my butt could look great if I put work in

Afking dark crabs when I shower or have to step away for longer than a few minutes to try to get a skilling pet task because I don’t have larcenist so no participation rocky lol #osrs

Can’t wait until you can’t sleep without having an advertisement beamed into your brain and it forces you to watch the whole video before it’ll allow your brain to allow you to sleep. They’ve stolen the night skies from us to advertise now they gotta steal our night sleeps.

Applied to a job where the start date would be two weeks after I get laid off please let me get this yes it’s more call center hell but it’d be something less to stress about

Would yall consider a baked potato alone enough to count as a meal? Like, just a potato with maybe butter and cheese and other toppings? I got in a bit of a minor argument over it earlier and I was like “yeah it counts as a meal”

becky (31)

Shit I was supposed to make appointments like two weeks ago I’ll do that when I wake up if I don’t forget again

I’m tired of having the options of either suffering by throwing myself at a grindstone and overworking myself to the detriment of basically every other facet of my life or suffering by being broke lmao

And “get a better paying job” isn’t realistic because I’ve been fucking trying but can’t find one

Trying to figure out how to get extra money so I can catch back up and try to unbury myself but the only realistic things I come up with are “sell blood” and “get a second job” and the prospect of those, especially working 7 days a week again, makes me want to crawl into a hole and close my eyes

terrible. 20 years ago, the internet was full of hobbyist blogs and forums. over time, these have been replaced by paywalled substacks and private discord channels, each a walled garden. google's decision to prioritize AI just makes it less likely people will create free, public info