haha heyy

aaaaaaaaaa i’m so in love 🥹💖 love you so much bestie, you’re so incredibly talented

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making a sh*rt that says: my favorite person calls me ugly*** *she can’t pronounce uncle yet **she’s 29 on thursday

she was a girl he'd never tell secretly he was a girl as well

bonding with my ex’s ex about how awful she was to both of us

my wife is bullying me 😔

I’m kinda risking burning bridges with some pinball industry contacts by making this video, but the entire Women’s Advisory board for the IFPA just resigned in protest, and we need to talk about this. www.tiktok.com/t/ZP8UNBSNv/

might fuck around and delete special media and other apps bc the Notifications are Overwhelming

what’s the psychology behind my ex liking my instagram post from january of me in the dress she loved 🤨

Wayward is so good im on episode 4 of my second watch and it came out 2 days ago lol

three more parts in this series up on substar rnnn spitroast, dp, hole gape, all the hits (plus lots of other exclusives <3)

🎃

:(

ohhh i’m more fucked up than i thought

she’s just like me fr

alright y’all, i know he was a terrible person, but i just wanna remind everyone who’s celebrating today: pls hydrate it’s a school night okie love u :)

damb she got me 😔🫡

POV you’re a pinball machine and i’m about to drain your balls

starting a youtube channel like the try guys except it’s the give up guys and we just give up on stuff

referring to death as “the great tolerance break in the sky”

DO YOUR SHOT

i’ve always been anti circumcision but maybe we as a society don’t deserve foreskin 😔

My inner peace hobbies are no longer bringing peace someone get me to a rage room or just point me in the direction of a man who has it coming

theres a lot they dont tell u about grippy sock flag code

the last thing my sniffies date will see before he [REDACTED]

when you’re eating and the food starts to gross you out so you have to eat as fast as possible until you hit the point where you can’t do it anymore

it’s funny when i sext with a stranger and they message me again the next day. buddy i can barely text my friends back idk what u wanted from me. im not that person anymore

34 is being happy to sit at a dr appointment scrolling on phone for a long time bc it means im not at work

"do you think its less pathetic to be thirsty if youre a lesbian" yes its called yearning and its very noble

t4t

In a sane world, every newspaper would run on A1 tomorrow: “IDF THREAT: IF JOURNALISTS PHOTOGRAPH GAZA, WE WILL STARVE GAZA”

why is it so hard to delete a text thread with an ex lmao i just cleaned up my texts and still have a text thread with an ex from 2022 😩

gays is lex down? :(

my new answer to the “what bathroom do you use” question is gonna be piss in the women’s room shit in the men’s 😎

if you’re a cis ally and you buy the harry potter pinball machine i’m not mad at you but as penance you should buy me the dune pinball machine 🙏

It’s incredible the kind of campaign someone can run when they’re not over 60

so much of life in 2025 is notifications and i’m so tired of it let me be Free

Holy shit, Sinners went SO fucking hard

Morning Jam: Good Riddance(Time of your Life) by Green day

an app where u input all the food you have in your fridge and their expiration dates and it gives u dinner/recipe ideas every day based around the expiration dates and your dietary needs/preferences. it can notify you when you’re out of things and there’s a calendar view that shows when foods expire

the best pizza is the girl reading this

sorry if i platonically leak all over you, your friendship just means so much to me,,

i didnt "transition" to make friends. i did it to make people hate me

Borat voice MyChart

saying “vladimir stop” like “piper no”

Same

All I’m saying is there’s no cis explanation for Roast Beef.

Lmao the gamersupps reddit did not like me asking questions. Instantly deleted within a minute of being posted. I genuinely wanted to know since they absolutely have lost my business as someone who liked them as a way to trick my brain into drinking more water.

loveeee when my boss calls me two hours after i’m off work to tell me bad news that will ruin my whole night soooooo good