This site about to see an uptick with the Cloudflare outage crippling the bird app today 😅

I bet doom scroll meant something way cooler in the middle ages.

The Valentines Day holy trinity 💝💓💖

QQ for folks still on TikTok after The Great 12 Hour Blackout since I’m curious — did yall have to acknowledge or accept new TOS or anything since then, or was it just back on business as usual?

the whole gulf of america thing feels too much like the freedom fries thing so at least we’ll get some memes and jokes for a few years out of it before people start saying how dumb it was

let me take a moment to celebrate the maybe less appreciated but tremendously delicious ponzu sauce 👏🏽😋🤤

the feminine urge to burn everything to the ground and start over in a spooky coastal town with a horrifying backstory.

We finally(!!!) started season 2 of House of the Dragon and my husband was like “a little child murder to make up for the lack of boobs in the premiere, we are SO back!!” 😂

My absolute favorite part of a post-snow morning 

The baby has been favoring her left hand recently for grabbing so I told my sister - one of the few lefties in our family - she may have some company on the same side of the table at family meals so elbows don’t bump 😂

I’ve been explaining what I like to call “alligator brain” in babies to other people and it’s hilarious bc folks never realized that alligators are kinda dumb.

Now that I’m done breastfeeding, I’m ready to welcome my Lord and Savior retinol back into my life 🙏🏽🛐

The baby decided to both start crawling and push herself from belly to seated position on the same day, so now I gotta lower the crib mattress 😅

we got the baby’s tongue tie released yesterday and she haaaaaates the stretches we have to do like 6x a day, so it’s gonna be a rough 3 weeks around here 😅🥴

heartwarming: the worst people you know are fighting

As much as I like putting my home back to baseline, it’s always kinda sad to pack up the holiday decorations at the beginning of a new year

After using this to season the lamb chops I made on Christmas Ave, this is now an herbes de provence stan account!!!

With the baby being both slobbery and boogery, every time I go to wipe her face I try to get both nose and mouth and my husband always shouts “CHLOROFORMED!!” whenever I do, and it always cracks me up 😂

😂😭

Doing a paint by sticker and playing Ticket To Ride on ‘advanced’ setting at the same time, both sides of his brain working overtime this afternoon lmao 🤣

Today is my mom’s birthday and this Sunday she’s leaving to Aruba with some friends for a week - may i be as lucky and genetically blessed as she has been at 70 years old! 😁💝

Remember when i said this morning it’s only been 3 days and 2025 is so over already? My 🩸 is back at 8mo pp 😭🥴

i have a very small pimple at the lip line on my bottom lip, 2025 is so over 😫

“We can begin a whole new year together,” said Frog. “We will skip through the meadows and run through the woods. In the evenings we will sit right here on this porch and count the stars.” “You can count them,” said Toad. “I’m going back to bed.”

The baby woke up at 4am and has been on/off fussy ever since, I swear to god I better see some teeth or a new skill or something within the week as a payoff bc BRUH 😵‍💫

Decided to start off 2025 with a rewatch of Sherlock just to feel something 🤭

Happy 2025 to me 😌🍜

Not my dad calling him Fat Donut when he was thinking of JellyRoll 😂😭💀

Folks singing nursery rhymes to their babies and I’m singing songs off @noahkahan Stick Season to mine, we are not the same

My SIL got the baby the Sleepytime book for christmas and of course it’s beautiful, but my biggest revelation is why I didn’t know the creator of Bluey was kinda…🫦🤭

This is my favorite time of every year - those few days between christmas and new year where reality is warped, time is a construct, and you’re not even sure you exist

Maybe it’s because your church looks like an AMC showing Sonic 3

After seeing that nasal rinse video of that mom with her kid, I wish I could do a version of that to the baby but with breastmilk bc it’s been over a month and nothing has worked and I’m lowkey desperate 😅🙃

This entire thread lmaoooo (he’s right tho)

It was A Very Spidey Christmas overall, but Santa came through with Ironman and Black Panther so he’s close to having all the Avengers now too 😆 Happy Christmas yall! 🎄🎅🏽🎁

In the two Home Alone movies, Marv got the worst of the traps compared to Harry every time. I mean bro got ELECTROCUTED in the second one!!!

good luck to all the Santa’s out there trying to get the perfect “one bite” out of that cookie to keep the magic alive 🥰🎅🏽🎄🎁🍪

Listen, we all know who could resist the One Ring

I was on social media for a long time before I realized SW often meant sex work and not Star Wars, good thing I support both

Tonight was our night to kick off the next 3 days of Christmas celebrations, and I made mini beef Wellingtons among some other apps, baked lamp chops, roasted potatoes, and prosciutto wrapped asparagus for dinner 🤤🎄

I got tired of calling today Christmas Eve Eve and since I host a meal for family and have to refer to it a lot, I use what I picked up from a friend - Happy Christmas Ave y’all! 🥰🎄

oh these targeted ads are ON POINT like who gonna buy these for me?!?!? 😂🥖🧈

🥹🥹😍😍

amelia bedelia listening to Last Christmas with her jaw on the floor.

bitch i'm screaming the YAMDALORIAN pleassssseeeeee 🤣😂🤣😂

so the baby has an ear infection that I guess she picked up in the 2 weeks since we were last at the ped and her ears/chest were clear, so Santa is bringing her amoxicillin - ‘tis the season indeed 😵‍💫😂

eating buldak black ramen with chapped lips just to feel something

forget botox and fillers, where are the injections to keep my lips from ever getting chapped??!!? where is THAT innovation?!?!!?

when I am a ghost I will greatly miss the food

Logically you can understand why infant mortality would increase without abortion access, but a rise in maternal mortality is much more sinister an outcome post-Dobbs 😒