"There's so many gay people in this kitchen. It's like a lavender marriage for the mashed potatoes"

Is anyone else concerned at the massive volume of ai run bot accounts in the comments of real videos claiming the video is ai when it's not? To desensitize people to everything as potential ai so no one will question or trust the things they see anymore? No? Just me?

I've stared into the belly of the machine and it was running DOOM

And Alexander wept, for there was no more hamburger to help

A YouTuber I watch sometimes is on in the background while I do other things and for some evil reason there was an equals three transition sound used in the video and my head snapped around like a sleeper agent who's been activated for ww3

If you paid for a ringtone advertised on late night cable tv with that cursed 3D animated rabbit you should speak to your doctor about osteoporosis prevention

Nice argument. However, I've already depicted you as the over designed solar flare foid modern SUV and myself as the classic, perfectly engineered standard American sedan

Who up rediscovering their love for creativity on a random Friday

I'd shave my eyebrow to pop a zit in it

"Don't be a grammar freak" ITS AN EXTREMELY SERIOUS MATTER THAT YOU CANNOT PROPERLY SPEAK YOUR NATIVE TONGUE. LIKE EXTREMELY BAD FOR OUR SOCIETY AS A WHOLE. THE RICH WANT US STUPID AND MALLEABLE GIRL STAND THE FUCK UP

I'm eating straight meat balls no sauce no noodles just meaty balls fuck my chungus life

I've shovelled so much snow today if I don't wake up missing my waist I'm throwing hands

We’re just normal men

Lorem ipsum would be a beautiful name for a baby girl

ugly crying over Minecraft nostalgia bait

Pros of having long hair: weeee Cons of having long hair: the horrors

Fuck yall know about Millie's Math House and Plumo At The Zoo?? Yeah that's what I thought. Poser.

I love how the makers of Shitty Brown Paper Towels Inc. decided to take an item that is, in every instance, needed to be absorbent, and proceeded to bring their top scientists together to make one that is the least absorbent possible, and then put them in every building ever

Bush so big they accusing me of doing 9/11

healthcare: $1 billion roads: $1 billion food: $4 the lie generator: $999 trillion military: $1 trillion somebody who is good at the economy help me. my country is dying

I put more blind faith in my lactaid than I do my birth control at this point

My quality of life improved tenfold when I realized you don't need company to do a charcuterie spread

Moon!!

Getting drunk enough and staring into the fire pit may fix me

ITS WEEN

what is happening to me gastrointestinally is between me, this Denny's bathroom, and god

Lights up the world to know what astronomically batshit takes people are out there cooking up in their noggins

I love publicly insane people so much. Fuck yeah man that city bus IS following you

It's finally the time of year for me and all the queer people in my phone to rewatch Over The Garden Wall

Jack Antonoff must have had a really hard time at recess

If it wasn't a death wish to travel to the states, I'd be at the Chicago Rat Hole right now

The lion does not concern himself with the CV axle leak

11 year old me at a school dance hearing "lips of an angel" by Hinder for the first time, and 26 year old me after 4 coors lights hearing the same song, chemically have the exact same brain matter

*louder than average* HEY LOOK WHAT I FOUND

found some gems in my childhood Pokémon stash

Vat19 is still around btw

The lion wants to spend so much money on Pokémon cards

Idk who needs to hear this but if my work charger that I've used daily for 4 years can keep going every day then so can you

I overshared on the internet and now I feel weird.

who up accidentally creating a perfect automatic siphon flow with they bendy straw while laying in they clean bed

Man who never knew the wii u was replaced with the switch: "Man I sure hope they make a new wii u game this year"

I understand it's solely a Canadian point of interest, but the leafs and jays both won yesterday and I'm taking it as a sign this will finally be our year to win something

listen to me. if I wasn't a pretty girl they would have put me to the sword years ago. my huge rack and long eyelashes are the only barrier between my pure unbridled social incompetence and emotional regulation issues, and the sword.

Brutalism is when concrete and the more conk the Crete the more brutalismer it is

I've consumed enough sushi for three grown adults today

Unfortunately for the local second hand corporate chain they have overpriced some things that I want that will fit in my pocket

Instead of killing myself I've gotten really into watching grown men open packs of Pokémon cards

none pizza left beef? anyone?

it's the year 3000. you go outside and they rip your nuts off immediately