if i was 10 and had 16 friends i would absolutely do weapons (2025) as a group halloween costume

every time i take my clothes out of the big dryer in my building’s laundry room i completely understand how a hot stepmom could get stuck in there

my two summer fit paths are little miss sundress or a take on laura dern layers in jurassic park, that’s all i’ve got

watching the incredibles for the first time in my life and people weren't kidding, this mom is caked the fuck up

I’m good at tests and bad at resisting the sublime. I think that’s in the dsm5

hi sharks today i'm asking for one million dollars for my combination glory hole/chili dog stand that i'm calling suckin and/or a chili dog

anyways we do in fact live in hell

uh oh came back to a lot more of you than before, thank you @dly.bsky.social 💗 i will try to be funny for y'all but if not i will be very hot and a little rude

i'm going to pick up sabrina carpenter on my shoulder like she's tiny tim and i'm scrooge to protect her from all these absolute losers who are scared of horny women

elon finally figured out how to get everyone to unblock him on his own site

happy pride, i'm sucking whatever you got going on

lots of life has been happening but i’m still the queen of bathroom mirror selfies (new bathroom though), hi

i don’t need you, i can take myself to funkytown

protecting my white bf on this day!!!!!!

i love how they hand the players tablets between plays like they’re ipad babies, like yes mahomes watch that cocomelon and chill out

listen all i’ve got to say about the super bowl is that’s very much NOT what personal jesus is about!!!!!!

me at the mexican restaurant casually ordering a drink like “como se dice, squirt”

these stupid fucks all think "The Economy" is some sort of natural phenomenon that ebbs and flows independent of humanity. bitch the "prices of goods" aren't going to "crash", somebody has to decide to lower them, and no one is going to do that

juror no(sfera)tu

nosfarrabbiata

eating pasta and watching nosferatu, calling it pastferatu

where’s juliette gariépy’s nomination for red rooms

what’s your deck like homie, what are you into?

every new restaurant in every major city is either called Thistle+Thorn and thinks adding turmeric to brussel sprouts makes them worth $30 or is called Burger Bitch and has a neon sign in the window that says “im gonna fuck a hamburger”

“if they don’t do it doggy style i’m going to be pissed off” i love watching nightbitch (2024) with my bf

RIP jimmy carter, we’ll be jorkin our peanuts in your honor tonight

ladies and gentlemen please welcome to the stage the 38-year-old birthday girl

it’s my birthday!!!!!! will post the more glammed up ready to go eat good pasta lewk later but i’m having the best day so far and am grateful to somehow be 38, death comes to us all 💝

holding my wand up to my bf’s mouth like it’s a microphone immediately after we have sex and asking “how are you feeling, did you leave it all out on the court” like i’m doing the post game interview

me watching it’s a wonderful life (1946)

joi to the world the lord is cum

🎄🎄🎄

we picked up a large apple pie and a 12 pack of weed drinks this morning, merry everything

gifts are wrapped, turkey’s in the oven, and i accidentally dressed festively which like yeah lfg

i will Never Forget how hard i laughed at this

getting on top during the holidays like i’m the angel on the christmas tree

i’m built like this

it's one banana michel, what could it cost?

work has been bananas but i’m alive

i feel like hugh grant’s character in heretic could have been much worse in the sense that he could have instead used that energy to make like 4 hour youtube video essays so phew

i think joker: folie à deux should go to gitmo for what it did to every source material it uses

being told you sit well is the tattoo equivalent of being called a good girl

Color-coding all my calendar events just to feel something

i love when you're in your late 30s and your joints feel creaky when it's cold, death comes to us all

my old ass and in a violent nature make a natural beauty of ontario 2024 movies double feature

good morning, woke up with this song (and specifically this video) in my head www.youtube.com/watch?v=fiH9...

it's weird to post something and then have it not show up on your profile and not get any notifications for hours... what gives

these words, "you will be mine", all the time www.youtube.com/watch?v=j4iu...