new anti-depressants making my tummy hurt don’t they know i’m happier when my tummy doesn’t hurt ☹️

I grew up specifically on Spider-man and the X-Men, so i’ll always be excited for these movies, but this looks like the most young adult struggling while also protecting the neighborhood Spider-man movie ever so i’m at peak 😩

i don’t skeet much, but when i do, it’s with sluts

the chicken noodle soup kinda sick today 🤒🤢

sorry the way they’re cutting people off this broadcast feels deeply heartless i know you have a pace to keep but christ

spending my afternoon with the goon squad

me calling my friends to tell them the buffy revival is dead at hulu

what did i say

american bloomfs: how much money are you making from posting ur venmo on your birthday i need to know how much im losing each year

if i send you this, it means i’m wondering why you mad

and my man sent this comfort package to cheer me up i’m 🥺😭

disappointing job search news thankfully came in right before a great new networking connection call so i’m not feeling ~ entirely ~ hopeless

closed relationship? you mean monorail?

just had an adhd assessment and instead i seem to have been diagnosed as a psychiatric handful

Fat Cock Friday the 13th time to put on our hockey masks and get on our Jason VorKNEES amirite gentleman

Give us Fred Armisen as Abe we’re ready

Parvati would never make us sit through a cringe rap if she was host is all i’m saying #Survivor50

i got a perfect score in my fantasy survivor pool this week so if anyone wants an autograph or something lmk

i will be walking by mine saying i should fix that but putting it off for no reason for the next week at least 🙂

🕯 🕯 🕯 🕯 🕯 🕯 Barb and Star 🕯 sequel 🕯 🕯 🕯 🕯 🕯

fridays getting fatter by the second #fcf

making midnight focaccia

what age would you guess @bradys.bsky.social’s crave algorithm has him categorized as?

why do i feel so miserable today i ask myself as i clear the 14 empty bottles of spanish wine from my kitchen island

¡Salud!

prepping for spanish tapas style dinner party all day ama

After seeing Jade last night i’m adding her to the shortlist

but it feels so nice in the spotlight

i didn’t have caviar so it’s full of anxiety meds

seeing DJ Meredith Marks tonight who’s drinking caviar martinis with me

i’m a watched the new episode of drag race before heading to the pump n dump level of gay

how’re the post-pv tan lines looking?

See you at Spartacus #PV

PV speedo haul arrived just in time. which is your fave? ❇️ or 🟢 or ⚫️ or 🌿?

i’m such a whore for an adventure movie 🥺

Tyra Banks each morning

timing my x-files rewatch to the month before PV was so great for appetite suppression i always forget how many truly disgusting episodes there are

How are you a Housewife and you don’t know not to post dumb republican shit? Like you’ve been to bravo con you know who the fanbase is? If you can’t get respectable morals at least get a good PR team.

she's gonna start telling everyone tomorrow that she was in the casita too

everything reminds me of him

i’m a perfect gentleman (walked closely behind my man coming out of the movies last night so nobody would see the *** that had leaked out of him and through his white pants)

I can’t wait for Bad Bunny and the Visible Penis Line Dancers (manifest)

wanna **** *** but it’s date night tonight and i want to save my load for my man nobody suffers the way i do

going to start a skills course for men aimed at teaching them how to take visually appealing nudes

Does the world need another franchise with Scarlett Johansson in it honest question

Pander ribbed thong in blue

I’m in the market for a new bestie, wide open casting call, ur not filling very big shoes

big floppy cocks, yaknow?

some mornings the coffee hits in a different way (uppercut to my colon)