I think I shall form a rose from salty black licorice

Good sign or bad sign that the musical loop in my head is Radiohead's "Everything in its right place"? No lemons have been involved.

I want to put the USA Flag Code on a giant flag and wave it around all the people with the flag shirts and flag towels and flag paraphernalia

Neutral language has become a noose for those continuing to attempt to deny reality; fuck negotiating with the terrorists when you can just sternly scold them in an email

I have officially used the new rice cooker for Not Rice. The barley was lovely.

I have expectations for what Juneuary is and it is primarily Not Now, but here we seem to be.

We've got weather going on. I guess I will go reclaim my bagel recipe.

I don't care about doughnuts for most of the year, but when that hits, it is a ghost haunting my heart.

I bought my wife an O. Henry book for Christmas and it turns out she just sold her eyes.

Two lines of pigs doing a zipper merge

Power outage, hour 10: thus comes the hail. I hope to retreat to work for the gentle comfort of hot tea a bathroom with lights.

Power outage update, hour 7: the milk in the fridge is having Bad Thoughts. It may consider loitering, or possible jaywalking any time now.

The wind is blowing this morning in a way that calls me to stalk the driveway in a long black veil.

Ah yes, the beginnings of Power Outage season.

we seem to have an entire country full of people that don't understand the very basic concept that decisions made by politicians affect the world generally. like they think there's something called politics and it's over there and then there's the real world here and they're separate entirely

The Consort has practiced his devotion in front of the fridge, and so one more piece of pie has been liberated.

Happy National Pie for Breakfast day my fellow celebrants! I hope you managed to claim that piece that Aunt Helen was eyeing last night so you set your alarm clock early to get to it before she did. May her dark mutterings warm your heart this day.

I don't know why I even suggest to myself that I will be satisfied making 4 pies. Come Thursday Dinner, there will be 5 pies. And cranberry sauce. And possibly rolls.

This year's quince butter will not last nearly through the year.

sometimes an Oxford comma can make all the difference

Another fritter, these a version of the meatless Glamorgan sausages that emerged after the collapse of the Welsh coal mining economy My latest for @wweek.com

Here in the land of dramatic weather, I have made a loaf of ordinary bread for contrast.

Her smol roundness Kiki successfully enfloofed herself enough to deter the Monster on The Porch from stealing the nonexistent bird seed. She remains in hulk mode for the moment, in case the kitchen needs further defending.

I wonder if publishers dread the state of their slush pile after every November.

I don't recommend the internet with a post vaccination fever.

Small towns are still small even at the giant grocery store. Listening to the local gossip across the pharmacy line.

Well, that was a bit of weather.

Instead of counting myself back to sleep I tried repeating the rhyme scheme of a sonnet over and over again. I think it made things worse.

pleased to announce that there seems to be a passive-aggressive conflict roiling the august pages of Cooks Illustrated, Fall Harvest recipes edition. allow me to explain:

The silent indignation of being offered a new toothbrush in "a nice grey color". Excuse me madam, I am not trying to hide my toothbrush in a convenient shadow.

The world trembles, for I have bought a rotary sander.

I really just want to sand and stain some wood today.

I often feel like Tuesdays exist for me to rehydrate from Thursday - Monday. I should drink more water.

"Juan" traveled from CA to harvest blueberries in OR. "The fields are in bad condition-so overgrown I can barely walk. I was to get paid 40 cents/lb, but the labor contractor who brought us here doesn't want to pay us sometimes. I'm not protected by a union contract." #WeFeedYou

Orchids are magical because you can ignore them for a week and then suddenly it's spikewatch 2025.

Made a cherry pie, slow cooked a pork roast and cleaned the litter box. I believe it is waft myself with a fan o'clock.

Have Tuesday off with no plans! Looking forward to an uneventful day.

We are currently experiencing a poop incident. Please stand by.

Buckeye bean soup on my agenda for days, so of course the day I have time to make it it's 80 degrees. This will not stop me from making it.

In an effort to engage my brain I have been drawing lately. I have found that my current favorite subject is echinacea flowers. This is why I bought more for my yard today.

I just had a birthday. Am I old enough to housedress in public yet, or do I still have to maxi dress?

Iowa Leaves Big Saran-Wrapped Bowl Of Potato Salad At Illinois Border After Making Too Much https://theonion.com/iowa-leaves-big-saran-wrapped-bowl-of-potato-salad-at-i-1844747809/

Thai cat treatises — called “Tamra Maew” — pair illustrations of auspicious felines with poetic notes: one has “eyes like dewdrops on a lotus,” another’s are “lit like fireflies, applied liquid gold”. Pages of a fine 19th-century example here: https://publicdomainreview.org/collection/tamra-maew/

Can we please stop trying to get scores? No one is keeping track.

In the face of today, I wish everyone a bit of their favorite things.

Someone left behind a brown crayon at work and none of us will get rid of it. It will be ours always.

If I saw today that the government suggests we start eating our boogers to improve our immunity I honestly wouldn't even be surprised.

IMO many Americans don't even buy guns for personal protection or to defend themselves against a tyrannical government. They simply have a shopping addiction

Never before in my life have I heard so fucking much from the Secretary of Health & Human Services. That’s never meant goddamned Medicine President before.

Today is a sweater day!