I still think about this Vine at least once a week

Oh shit!

"I wish there was more bisexual representation in media... 😔" *monkey's paw curls one finger*

You ever see a man and just know his mother didn’t have an orgasm when she made him

We are the children of the parents who should not have had kids

Pleasuring oneself to pictures of Wallace of Wallace and Grommet

BREAKING: Pennsylvania voters approve to retain three state Supreme Court justices, NBC News projects, preserving Democrats’ 5-2 majority on the state’s high court.

BREAKING: Zohran Mamdani wins the New York City mayoral race, NBC News projects. nbcnews.to/4nIzNUC

Music 4 bttms

There's rich and then there's clone your pet rich.

It must be fucking awesome to be a balloon floating away from a crying child like Fuck yessssssss, get out of there

UGH the two guys I kidnapped and tied up together in my basement aren't even developing any sexual tension, they're just crying and whimpering 🙄🙄🙄 fuck my stupid life

Happy Halloween sweetteas

I bet the tootsie pop owl gave terrible head

[Average size penis humiliation] hahahah your dick isnt too big or too small. Jerk your stupid normal penis using any where from three to all of your fingers. It would probably feel reasonably good inside me because its of regular length

What i miss most about twitter, insta, Facebook was blocking everyone. I was constantly blocking. *Stares wistfully into the distance*

Someone is so close to having a breakthrough

They are going to execute me in the town square for taking 19 days to respond to texts

Not even Hitler's Brownshirts sported masks to hide their identity. Watch Trump's Nazi ICE Gestapo terrorize this woman because of the color of her skin. 😡😡😡👇

Time management is key

I'm only sucking dick for 2 to 3 minutes because I am busy. I don't have time. I have a career.

Censoring ass when the post is about throating a giant cock

Gay men brought back the 70s stache, lesbians brought back 80s mullets, and now straight dudes are just walking around with both thinking they stumbled onto this styling choice by accident. Say the line Meryl (cerulean sweater monologue but specifically about how gay culture creates taste)

Been really getting into something called doing whatever I want lately

I went to the Amish grocery store

This unnecessary bday gift I just received 😂😭

the only good use of the internet is gay sex, everything else has been a mistake

Men's Rubber Latex Shorts for $28.98! Buy on Amazon --> amzlink.to/az0iR5yQsO2XV

The right side of Trump's face will droop and he'll still blame it on the left.

Gone but not forgotten

I'm not gonna lose sleep over it, truth be told

For the not safe for work crowd: #fridayfeeling #fuckAI

A second Fredo has hit the towers 😔

Picture it: I am at the dollar tree picking up energy drinks. An old man is walking past me in the aisle and stares at me, a second too long, and asks me where I'm from. I said I'm from the US. I was born in Chicago and he says "Oh yeah? You look like a foreigner." And hands me this

All done? Just select Bust from the Sex menu

Good morning sweetteas

It must be fucking awesome to be a balloon floating away from a crying child like Fuck yessssssss, get out of there

Happy 4th sweetteas

It will get cold again eventually. The summer will not last forever. I’m not doomed to live in this unbearable hellscape heat for all of eternity. It will be fine. You have done it before and you can do it again. (said while gripping the countertop so hard it is starting to crack)