‘Hunt For Gollum’ Director Andy Serkis Defends Film’s All–Andy Serkis Cast https://theonion.com/hunt-for-gollum-director-andy-serkis-defends-films-all-andy-serkis-cast/

don’t know how much more of this i can take, bring back the monoculture asap

currently synthesizing the idea in my head that pro wrestling for kids is like pornography for young adults. 1) it isnt "real" and once you realize it it is obvious. 2) they were characters at first but now that im older i just hope they are happy and doing okay.

i see pictures of beautiful ladies that i used to look at as a kid but now as an old ass guy i just think "oh sweety you look so dehydrated."

Overheard from a group of four guys on the subway: “Yo, why are you doomscrolling? You’re with the bros”

Son, back in my day if you started a PC game without connecting your controller first your computer would stop working for six hours

Furious that Chris Nolan would disregard historical accuracy in adapting The Odyssey by making a "movie" with "cameras" instead of memorizing the entire story and then going on a nationwide tour to sing it to us while tripping on ergotized barley

if i were oats, of Hall and Oats, when Hall and Oats broke up i would have called my new band "Just Oats!"

kids shouldnt smoke cigarettes. it isnt healthy. we dont need anyone under 18 looking that cool.

oh no super diarrhea? wait you get it from eating vegetables? like them green shits that grow in the dirt? nevermind im gonna be fine. my system is only calibrated for slim jims and diet mt dew so im pretty sure any vegetable in the system would give me the shits.

i need to draw my boomer sword once again.... MECCA CHAMELEON ISNT A VIDEO GAME. YOU LITTLE THEM/THEMS AND XERS AND XIMS BETTER START PLAYING A GAME WITH A ROCKET LAUNCHER SOON OR THIS SPECIES ISNT GONNA MAKE IT

i understand where progressive people's aversion to "bro culture" comes from but i am always amazed by how much it animates some people. like i think they like bro bashing more than they like actual progressive ideas. im a bro-ie dude and so were my friends. None but maaybe 1 of us turned maga.

2016 Ghostbusters was fine. It was just a bad movie to call Ghostbusters.

it feels like he isnt gonna win so i can laugh... for now..

i think afroman should start human trafficking for real. i mean not that i want more human trafficking but i think afroman would be totally safe to do it for at least a couple of years

So pumped. Haven't been to a baseball game or wrestling show in forever

#AEWBrawlInTheBallpark 9:30 CT, Target Field TONIGHT! Orange Cassidy vs Wheeler Yuta Formerly a part of the Best Friends together, 1/3 of the AEW World Trios Champions, Orange Cassidy, faces Wheeler Yuta of the Death Riders, TONIGHT!

Mitch McConnell isn't dead. He got so conservative that he looped around and became a militant communist. Kinda like what happens to Ghandi in Civilization

cheney for maine!

I was with Mitch McConnell for 20 minutes this morning. We made love and he gay married me. He said he was leaving me everything and that if he left no evidence of our love anywhere it meant he was especially serious.

im old. someone asked me "what my fursona was?" and i had to grappling hook outta there

This whole ordeal is stupid cause i just want to point out how far good politics can get you but no one will listen cause they think i am trying to defend a guy i have never met.

the real answer is that he had a simple, populist message, was an effective speaker, and—most importantly—took that message to town halls across the state

I AM NOT A MAINE VOTER BUT PEOPLE SURE SEEM EXCITED ABOUT THIS GUY WHO SEEMS LIKE HE MIGHT BE A BAD GUY. IT BEGS THE QUESTION, WHY DO YOU SUPPOSE PEOPLE LIKE HIM SO MUCH? IF HE WINS, IS IT JUST BECAUSE PEOPLE IN MAINE ARE BAD? DEMS LOVE TO TALK ABOUT DEMOCRACY BUT HATE WHEN PEOPLE VOTE.

Gears of War is going to need to run on refrigerators and car dashboards if they want numbers like this.

i dont watch as much sports as i used to but i watch way more interviews and podcasts with athletes talking about their playing days.. i think i just miss having friends? im not talking about the people around me in my life (nerds). i mean i miss having cool jock friends.

New PlayStation marketing just dropped

Me walking through the world still not caring about soccer

People: I think we should stop or at least not support genocide. DNC: Why?

ya know it is gonna be any day now.. i just hope it hurts and is terrifying

i find it odd that no one ever talks about how much of Michael Jordan's appeal is that he is a hot dude. it would be waay funnier if he was like a super fugly looking dude. if every kid in the 90's had a poster of some cross-eyed buck-toothed dweeb on their walls it would have be amazing

finally checked in on new linkin park. listen, it aint because shes a lady. she actually seems like a good singer. the problem is she isnt Chester. it just AINT LP. Sorry everyone Chester was load bearing.

it must be harrowing being a republican politician. everything looks fucked all the time. your leader is an obvious criminal that everyone hates. yet you cant JUST give up and hang out. since your opponents are the Democrats you ALWAYS HAVE A SHOT AT WINNING

a 25-year class reunion is like, hey, wanna meet up with a bunch of people you havent seen in 20 years and who are, for all intents and purposes, total strangers at this point and 40% have turned into actual nazis?

To a conservative, to be a woman you need to be someone they can masturbate to. This is ironic because half of them have "my dick doesn't work" energy and the other half are homosexuals

republicans can have their fun now but when dems get back in power we are gonna see a means-tested, focused grouped, bipartisan tidal wave of justice!

i am way better at sex than I look but way less desperate than you would think

why don't you come over here and make me touch grass mother fucker?

some people arent really on the political left. they just want an ethical reason to scream at everyone.

god damn. ALS is so fucking scary and i have attended 1 fund raiser and heard that 2 big athletes have ALS just this month alone.

The right: listen, if we don't *immediately* get teenagers pregnant in concentration camps the world will literally end Normal people: what the fuck Centrist dems: woah there, you sound like a dirty commie. The adults in the room are talking. Give us between $5 and $50 to continue talking.

i play slay the spire by feel alone. dont bother me with math. i use the force

i am a lefty but i would like to 'improve' my electability so i am becoming a centrist. the hard part is deciding which of the correct positions that i have do i need to change my mind about. thinking i might sell out minorities. i know i am a stereotype but it is the classic move.

i KNEW he and me would be friends

really enjoying the show Hacks.

Big accounts when people reply and comment to their public posts on the website designed for people to post and comment in public: "WTF? This sucks!"

you people need to show more respect for the political machinery that lost to donald trump twice

dems need to just start putting crowns on their candidates' heads so i can tell who they want me to vote for.

demon people telling each other lies they know are untrue to make them selves angry enough bring more anguish into the world. often times on literal children.

good for new york. glad someone is having a good time. i had to change my party affiliation so i could vote for super hitler against ultra hitler in a primary in my state.