This is the face of a very tired dog who has pooped and puked on two separate trains today between Paris and Berlin

I'm at a showcase in the moulin rouge where they give everyone champagne

Ah hmm

Reminder that Rory Gilmore is an Ayn Rand fan

i don't want to wake up and immediately read what you lot have to say! many of you have untreated personality disorders and strange fetishes!

literally why the fuck are we talking about tony blair can he not just sit at home and write a book or something

microsoft needs to get in the sea

There is no better feeling than when your dog sees you after time apart and they start running to you 😍

If you don’t want to know the end, look away. “Catherine Connolly could spend her seven years in the office doing nothing but going from school to school doing keepy-uppies and it would probably have a better effect on social cohesion than almost anything else that the president can actually do.”

Started so young I didn't even Have email Now my lyric's on Your booby

Is it me or would all anglophones' grasp of English grammar be better if they just learned a second language

More Irish activists have now been taken by the IDF from international waters including author Naoise Dolan, TD Barry Heneghan and psychiatrist Veronica O’Keane. They are part of the Freedom Flotilla Coalition.

Girl on my train wearing aran jumper style tracksuit bottoms and like ... yes girl

The fact that Charli was like "I feel bad and insecure about this person bc I could never be like them and I'm insecure about my weight" and Taylor Swift would turn it around in such a vicious and tone-deaf drag down of a person just being vulnerable..........it kinda says it all no

Personally can't wait to welcome our new tankie president

Sorry everyone I'm never having sex again

You have to pick a side

Do you think Taylor swift has ever heard summertime sadness

I feel like the biggest sign that I need it to function is that I can still take a lengthy nap after taking it

Lewis Capaldi on Graham Norton this evening is spectacular, so far he's said cunt, fuck, and has spilled all the details of his new EP against the wishes of his management lol

KLM appear to have replaced almost all of their fleet with Airbus A321neo planes which means that I can't travel with Maud anymore 🙃

Aw, she kicked the bouquet :(

It's so crazy how every meal I eat is 60 carbs

Feeling irrationally annoyed by the new ts album

I need the Tchibo pumpkin dish

Wait did the guy who wrote limitless just like take adhd meds and go "wooahh"

Who's the worst character in gilmore girls?

Baby's first official Ritalin prescription 🥲

Jessie Reyez explaining praise kink to the crowd last night was not on my bingo card

Just crazy how smokers smell so bad tbh

All one night stands get a free mouthful of dog hair

if the democrats want to build lasting power they gotta put out a big thing of spaghetti while they do speeches and anyone can have. Later, in the booth, voters are like "oh yea...the spaghetti guys..."

Getting a sick September tan because the dermatologist is intentionally blasting me with UVB rays 3 times a week

I say so many weird things in German because of how French sentence structure works sometimes

You could also keep boycotting Disney because they donate money to Israel

An update on that insane lease term where the landlord owns everything you create during the tenancy:

Good god I love spaghetti

Who the fuck is Güner Balci and why is my dad sending me Irish times articles about her

Whispering "Goodnight, I love you" to my kidneys as I chug water in bed before turning out the light

If you fail to qualify as a candidate for an election you should be legalled barred from writing a book #aras25

This is kind of the official position of the German state

Netanyahu: My 'I did not have Charlie Kirk murdered' shirt has people asking a lot of questions already answered by my shirt.

Shout out to the old lady in the burgundy pvc bucket hat on the ubahn this morning

I have an essay in me about paramore's after laughter transitioning to Hayley Williams' solo career but I'm a bottler who never does anything so--

My favourite two words in the English language are "brown butter"

Hopefully last night in the ho(spi)tel let's hope I can get in one night's sleep without either of my roommates having a medical emergency

The framing of Eoin Hayes as "a young man who made a mistake in college" is such bull, if the SU president is doing black face during his tenure that should be called out. I can't believe it didn't come out before this. Matthew Mulligan would have been all over this

Why is this man taking a phone call in his underwear and wandering up and down the ward

I love hearing Irish banks saying things like "were introducing instantaneous payments using the receiver's phone number" whereas other counties have had instant payments using IBAN for at least a year now