America’s only patriot 6’3” IQ 72
@hellointernet.bsky.social
📤 373
📥 269
📝 5427
1993 Pinewood Derby champion
Sorry boss, can’t make it to work today. I cummed too much this morning and now I’m feeling reallllllllllly dumb
about 12 hours ago
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It is vital for aspiring comic creators to let me borrow $200
add a skeleton here at some point
about 12 hours ago
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They call me “Skankin’ Tony”. Horn tech extraordinaire for touring ska bands. 30+ years of experience. Been all around the world with Less Than Jake, Reel Big Fish. The BossToneS. Met Gwen Stefani once. Been to so many pizza parties. One time in Brussels, I even got to kiss a girl
about 13 hours ago
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I’ll be in my bunk! I’ll be jacking off in my bunk!!! 🥵🍆💦🐰
1 day ago
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White people love behaving foolishly
add a skeleton here at some point
1 day ago
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reposted by
America’s only patriot 6’3” IQ 72
more mr. nice guy
3 days ago
outta my way lady i gotta write Jurassic Park
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Coco and I are enjoying the fire 🐾🔥
2 days ago
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Ruin a first date: Ah geez, I’m really nervous. I’m scared you’re gonna find out my dick don’t work and that I ain’t got no money to pay for this dinner. Oops should I have said that out loud
add a skeleton here at some point
3 days ago
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*me at the open mic, spiraling, dripping sweat, breathing shallowly, fumbling through index cards, wanting very badly to kms* so the Super Nintendo has “mode 7”, you heard about this? *silence* you heard about this? What’s next, mode 8??
4 days ago
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What a blessing having a good friend is. But what’s even better than that is having a lot of money
4 days ago
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Getting my fuck holes filled up with plaster and shut forever
4 days ago
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Blaring Chief Keef on my phone in the waiting room of the podiatrist until somebody beats the shit out of me
5 days ago
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Tired: Pitchfork Media charging $5 a month for posting and rating privileges Wired; Carles resurrects Hipster Runoff and charges $5 a month for ppl to be allowed to post slurs
5 days ago
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The cake 🎂… IS A LIE!!! 🚫😡
5 days ago
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Ever since I came out my momma’s butt, I knew I was destined for greatness
5 days ago
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reposted by
America’s only patriot 6’3” IQ 72
wargen
6 days ago
british guy: i hope americans are ready to be hated lib american reply: i'm so ashamed of my countrymen, i hope that the british don't hate me specifically Hamburglar: i haven't stolen anything since i got sober
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Big day for Gene Simmons, Paul Stanley, Christopher "Tricky" Stewart, Alanis Morissette, Terry Britten, Graham Lyle, Kenny Loggins, Walter Afanasieff, Taylor Swift, and horny armpit enjoyers. Yowza, I hope that thing STINKS!!! 🫠
pitchfork.com/news/taylor-...
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Taylor Swift and Alanis Morissette Inducted Into Songwriters Hall of Fame
The class of 2026 also includes Tricky Stewart, Kenny Loggins, and Kiss’ Gene Simmons and Paul Stanley
https://pitchfork.com/news/taylor-swift-and-alanis-morissette-inducted-into-songwriters-hall-of-fame/
6 days ago
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“Barenaked Ladies“? More like “Barenaked Laddies”; they’re a bunch of dudes! Get your shit together, Canada!
6 days ago
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Just saw the Ordinary Sausage video where he fried a whole egg in a pot of hot oil and if somebody doesn’t immediately explain to me why a whole egg fried in a pot of hot oil will [spoiler alert] explode like a bomb, but I can boil a whole egg in water all day, I stfg my brain is going to explode
6 days ago
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John Fogerty: “I wanna know, have you ever seen the rain?” Me: “Yeah John, buncha times. Why.”
6 days ago
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New York City has a baseball team called the Mets, a football team called the Jets, a basketball team called the Nets.. and their hockey teams are called the damn Islanders and Rangers?! Mamdani, take care of this!!
10 days ago
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How do they come UP with this stuff?? 😄😂🤣🤪
10 days ago
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Real talk: idk what the picture of the diagram of the plane with red dots all over it means when ppl use it as a reaction/contextual thing and at this point I’m almost too afraid to ask
add a skeleton here at some point
11 days ago
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Sophie Turner IS Lara Croft IN “Tomb Raider: The Quest to Beat Me to Death With an Aluminum Tee-Ball Bat”! Hot MAMA!! 🥵
12 days ago
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Bong
12 days ago
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Cooking Pro Tip: if you’re preparing a recipe that calls for plantains and you can’t find them, you can just use regular ass bananas instead, it’s the same thing
12 days ago
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Can’t wait to get my dick sucked in a hot, smelly porta-potty while the dulcet tones of Pradabagshawty drift through the springtime breeze
12 days ago
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alhamdulillah
add a skeleton here at some point
13 days ago
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🚨🚨🚨WOOP WOOP🚨🚨🚨 You‘ve been pulled over by the ⭐️💛🍌𝐏𝐈𝐒𝐒 𝐏𝐀𝐓𝐑𝐎𝐋🍋🧀🐥 Show us that hot, frothy piss
14 days ago
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Drew Carey fucked my bitch
14 days ago
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I’m here to eat pot roast and suck on some pretty painted toes. And I’m all outta pot roast!! 🦶🦶🦶
14 days ago
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I love shoplifting! 💅
14 days ago
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“Interactivity” rhymes with “winter activities”. If you’re a rapper or a poet, go ahead and use this for whatever
15 days ago
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loading . . .
15 days ago
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Wish I was slow-roasted in Grandma’s gravy…
17 days ago
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There are men in my basement
17 days ago
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Finally managed to snap up a reservation for two at Kudasai in NYC this August. Twelve seats, 400 sq feet dining room, located in the basement beneath a veterinarian clinic in Nolita. Michelin Bib Gourmand commendation. Their tsukemen costs $80 a bowl and it tastes like fucking shit
21 days ago
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My mom works at Nintendo and she said they hired Alec Baldwin to do the voice of Yoshi in The Super Mario Galaxy Movie
21 days ago
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Just learned that the French call these two Titi and Grosminet. I think we need to shut that whole country down for a while and get to the bottom of whatever is going on over there
22 days ago
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“Resident Evil”? Uhhhhhhh yeah.. how about “PRESIDENT“ Evil 😡
22 days ago
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Sure would hate it if a Muscle mommy killed the shit out of me. No! Don’t do it! 🫣
23 days ago
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Justin Long implies the existence of Justin Short. Meanwhile: Venezuela
23 days ago
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Death to America
24 days ago
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Watching “Turner & Hooch” for the first time and if Hooch is seriously about to die I am gonna kms
24 days ago
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Made a macaroni
26 days ago
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reposted by
America’s only patriot 6’3” IQ 72
phil mccrevice
about 1 year ago
squirt cobain
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reposted by
America’s only patriot 6’3” IQ 72
sloane
about 1 year ago
squirt cobain this is nothing
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reposted by
America’s only patriot 6’3” IQ 72
Totally 𖤐 Bitchcakes
9 months ago
Squirt Cobain
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reposted by
America’s only patriot 6’3” IQ 72
Just Seth Here
7 months ago
Squirt Cobain
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reposted by
America’s only patriot 6’3” IQ 72
frenchie gumdrop
5 months ago
squirt cobain
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