I believe in a limited government that keeps my taxes low, leaves hardworking canadians alone, and controls all the birds

trying to convince my wife — NOT that i could get a hit against major league pitching! — but that i could probably get on base at least once, via hbp or walk or something. maybe the ball slips out of jordan romano’s hand

it sounds like i'm making this up but, at my wedding, joe lunardi was personally giving me shit about this. "the only power conference school that has never won a game!" he's eating the food, he's drinking, he's laughing. "0-for-eight all time!"

i say we just run him at this point. totally ignore the constitution or whatever. can’t stop us if we don’t read it

all of us could really benefit from a mid-march federal holiday

ken rosenthal has one story about each player on team usa and he repeats it every time he sees them, a level of analysis roughly equivalent to cookie monster's famous song "C is for Cookie"

fun game so far but i think brazil are already out of pitchers. “this guy is 40 and italy didn’t need him anymore”

slay the spire ii

given 15 minutes to present at the all staff, wrote a script without timing it, it was 14:01.. i still got it, folks

you can solve most of what was wrong with this match by taking this bit of Law 12 and adding “any time during the match, and also during a corner.” a lot of readers would not need that second bit but some might

this is called Brand Synchronization

Hahahahah what a stupid fucking sport

fuck this war and fuck trump

if i log out then your email will be unable to find me at all

The Illustrator Experience ™️

doing some important research ahead of slay the spire 2's release forms.gle/1JFuQkaw2v1z...

neutral milk hotel… it works so well when they do it

this season is gonna be tough for us, huh

more like andrew, prince of Jails

this piece somehow both makes castellanos sound absolutely insufferable and makes me love him even more. goodbye nicky, nicky forever

noooooooo a touchdown

what a great day to pick up a copy of “the iliad and the odyssey and the goalie’s anxiety at the penalty kick” by the goalie’s anxiety at the penalty kick

Kare 11 local news just read, in full, this statement from Michael and Susan Pretti, the parents of Alex Pretti. "Please get the truth out about our son."

when a cat goes wet food bowl -> dry food bowl -> water -> litter box, that's called "hitting for the cycle"

everyone at my wife’s work needs to calm down about whatever they’re emailing her about

“you gotta have wa,” 1989 — damn, if that happened, that would be crazy !

jake elliott about to be visited by three ghosts tonight

A Charlie Brown Christmas if the kids talked like the adults

cloud is that the bird buddy suet ball holder breaks in two weeks and replacements are like $20 shipped. silver lining is when downy woodpecker sits in there like it’s a little basket

post-trump, if we ever get there, we’re gonna need some nuremberg / latin american style show trials. dems should be preparing to put hegseth and the DOGE kids, at a minimum, in prison

perfect

There Aren’t Deals – The Black Friday Truther

If you're lucky in life you may one day meet that person who, no matter how ordinary they may seem to the rest of the world, will always be special in your sight. Cherish that person. Banish all thoughts of others. Sell Madueke. Bench your strikers. Start him up top against Barcelona. That's love.

my dad claims that his homepod is “playing the Flintstones theme at random times of the day”

nebraska fooled me again

focus is a little ehh but check this nuthatch action shot!

leaves blowing around everywhere. this is his super bowl

it’s not that i think it’s a /good/ idea to give my wallet to the wallet inspector. but that’s the only way i can get into the club. the wallet inspector said so

WHAT IN THE WORLD IS HAPPENING AT THE CUOMO PARTY IM CRYINGGGGG

let’s go zohran. i am ready to believe in something

is matt rhule uniquely bad at fourth-down decision making or is it just that nebraska is the only team i watch

two-nil would feel significantly less dangerous as a lead rn

if anything bad happens to my neighbor's cat tyler, i just don't know what i'll do

i love emo music, there's no end to people making the most beautiful music you've heard and screaming over top of it

when we moved to nebraska and had to get a car, we found and bought the same model (03 subaru outback) that my wife drove in high school. so i guess i’m just better than that guy who’s getting dunked on today

jt pointing to first 🫡

knuckle tats TOOT BLAN