The parking lot at the office today is suspiciously empty and I'm wondering how many people stayed home for the rapture.

Ask your doctor if hitting it with a mallet is right for you

Who up gettin they charlie kirked

Lifetime achievement award for being a dumb motherfucker for this post alone.

I love that bat flipping is no longer taboo

I am begging men to do this. Begging.

I dunno man, having a reverend shout "God damn you" would make my atheist ass think twice about what I'm doing.

Loser shit.

Following Charlie Kirk’s killing, the government is scapegoating video games again — and completely missing the mark. @nathangrayson.bsky.social and @morgansung.bsky.social explain:

WHAT ABOUT GUILLERMO

I love aftermath so much

Hey Meta how do I go pee pee in tbe potty AI: Wow nice setup you got here with the potty and the teeny peen Meta what do I do first AI: ... Meta what do I do

Jesus Christ.

1. Three Bean Salad 2. Jordan Jesse Go 3. Threedom 4. The Neighborhood Listen 5. Stop Podcasting Yourself

How do we make these dipshits understand that if you play down climate change and LGBTQ rights, I will never, ever vote for a Democrat again. I will stay the fuck home. Those issues are non-negotiable for me and I don't think I'm unique.

Just so, so close to getting it, that guy

Divorced from my wife. I mean, not divorced, separated. I mean not separated, I mean I'm stuck at work alone while she's seeing other people. My wife is leaving me.

being trans is awesome and trans people are amazing and gender is a dumb box and anyone who makes their own crowbar to smash it from inside is a hero actually.

SUPER SUCKS

Boy I knew America was fucked, but this past week has made me realize I probably won't live to see it unfucked.

I am absolutely gonna fucking lose it

We should listen to him. He has a lot of experience being at a significant cognitive disadvantage

I'm opposed to the death penalty except for people who say "happy Monday" on an 8am call.

print on demand has really ruined the feeling of finding an incredibly stupid and worn-out t-shirt in a thrift store and making it your entire personality

Watching a specific sports game has become absurdly difficult. You have to consult arcane tomes to divine where you can see it.

This is the way

Linux is a great option for people who want to use a computer where before you can do anything a mischievous goblin makes you answer its riddles three.

Grok is this true

We need leaders like Kat who are willing to put their physical selves between the people and fascists.

All the while the very same reporters accuse bluesky of being an echo chamber.

I just upgraded my subscription to @aftermath.site because they fucking rule and post nothing but bangers. Treat yourself and subscribe.

He lived bitch

I might just have to buy a second subscription for a friend

I am losing my goddamned mind

Someone shot up my kid's school today, and our governor is paying tribute to a guy who thought that is an acceptable price to pay for having the Second Amendment. Jared Polis has failed Colorado.

This is fucking bananas. What did that nazi shitstain do in life to deserve this besides be a white man and have money? Why does he deserve it but the countless other victims of gun violence in the US don't!?

Subscribe to The Handbasket from famed sportswriter Marisa Kabas

Part of what keeps America so violent is the insistence that people perform care, empty goodness and absolution for white men who espouse hatred and violence.

Fuckin exactly. Seeing all those losers saying "of course you realize this means war" when the actual president declared war on my city 3 days ago is ridiculous.

You have got to be fucking kidding me

Me after getting shot through the neck: wow tough crowd

Lols and lmaos to his family and friends in this difficult time.

STEPHEN A: Skip I want to ADDRESS this issue. [BAYLESS nods] You KNOW I am opposed to gun violence. BAYLESS: Absolutely STEPHEN A: BUT!

Etsy witches really having a day

Thoughts and prayers for all the students at UVU. I hope they can at least get a partial refund for their tickets.