What do you mean “30th Anniversary Edition”? 💀

I’m in my vintage cardigan era.

going on a stupid little walk for my dumb mental health

New Danzig yard lore. Shall we never forget his pile of bricks. “HERE I AM MOTHERFUCKER, JUST CLEANING UP MY FUCKING BRICKS BITCH!”

I once heard that you never actually want a second or 3rd cup of coffee each day. You only try to have the first cup again. I think of that a lot when I’m on cup 4.

Congress Allocates $500 Million For Development Of Funkier Bass Lines https://theonion.com/congress-allocates-500-million-for-development-of-funk-1819579171/

All of these research tasks in PoGo this week are like “power up Pokémon 10 times” and like, what am I MADE OF STARDUST or something?

Wiping the snow off of my car’s backup camera, like I’ve been sent outside to clean on Silo.

insane move to imply that a murderer is your own supporter

Saved myself one (1) of those gross little Little Debbie Christmas Tree Cakes from this weekend’s hash. Anything more would be too much.

Postal birds! 🐦✉️

Pokémon Go Friendship Grind friend code: 291927644718 scatterbug/vivillon region: polar

Michael C. Rockefeller got shipwrecked in 1963, washed up on an island, and was promptly eaten by cannibals.

Don’t forget to cancel AMC before the next billing cycle.

Somebody should design a hat that has ear flaps, sun protection, but also a hole for your ponytail.

Got a hand knitted cardigan at the Goodwill during lunch break. Someone clearly spent a lot of time and effort on this. I worry that this was a gift for someone made with love, politely received and then discreetly discarded. Whatever. It’s mine now.

me walking into my parents room at 2am telling them I threw up

Do you think Guile sleeps with his hair in a tube?

I found another linoleum asphalt mosaic this week. This one is on the corner of Broad and Exchange. This one looks fresh. #roc

Double down and use Wingdings.

My stupidest flex of the week.

Miles: It's hard to shake your true nature.

Oh yeah, I'm going to a concert tonight. *Opens Animal Crossing*

sorry, i have plans. the plans:

he had that shit on

I could eat so many crescents while wearing this.

I have been blessed. 🥹

Nobody calls Long Island “the panhandle of New York”

Star Trek: Oops all Wesleys!

FWIW I was kinda hoping they would put them in cargo pants like they did with Red Squad the DS9 episode Valiant. Kids still wear cargo pants, right? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

27° and snowing downtown. And look at how cozy this little guy is.

They made my take off my Spock pin to go through the security screening this morning. At least I hope they thought it was cool.

I can't read this string of questions without imagining them all being asked by Jonathan Frakes in a smashcut

pantone just named landlord white the color of the year 2026, WE NEED TO BUILD HOUSES

fuck

How does this even happen? 🍋🌼🍌🧈🟨

Reporting for jury duty I realized something. It’s such a pain in the ass, but I sort of miss having to wake up, put on real people clothing, and be somewhere. The coffee just hits different when you’re walking through the ice at 8:30 am. WFH has made me soft.

Why didn’t they want to share their get rich quick crypto scheme with Dirk Van Schitteatterr of the Dutch East India company? 🥺

So some pig butchering scammer sent me a text tonight asking if I had plans to go back to Indonesia. I decided to fuck around a bit and I texted them back pretending to be an 18th century merchant sailor with the Dutch East India company. You know, as you do.

Why are the kids now using ~that part~ of Fleetwood Mac’s Silver Springs in their tik toks? Are they trying to kill me?