based nancy

It’s my kiloversary! I haven’t smoked weed or taken an edible in 1000 days. Since then I realized that I don’t need weed to be a goofball. The dumbass was inside me the whole time. ✨

STG if my job ever uses my headshot to make an AI avatar of me wearing a Santa hat im gonna flip my desk. (well not really, i wfh anyway)

its crazy how quickly seasonal depression can kick in overcast, rainy, and 50° for 3 days? get fucked loser.

To quote the man himself: shit, damn, motherfucker fuck cancer.

Pretty sure that the Trader Joe’s Harvest Blend tea is just a private label Celestial Seasonings Cinnamon Apple Spice tea. Confidence level 99%.

The Search Engine podcast’s most recent episode title: “Cocomelon for Adults” 🤣

Real.

after careful study, I believe only people born between 1975 and 1995 should be allowed to use the internet

They should've had a Halloween ep of Voyager where Tom Paris explains the ancient earth tradition of "trick or treat" to an incredulous Seven who says something like "that is an inefficient means of aquiring candy," & he makes a holodeck recreation of a suburb so the whole crew can trick or treat 🎃

Last night I had a dream that they opened a Family Mart in Genesee County and of course I had to go but it ended up being like a regular American convenience store. They didn’t even have the socks.

microsoft product (begging, pleading): save this document to my documents? me: save to desktop microsoft (twitching, shaking) this jpeg. save to pictures? me: save to desktop microsoft (weeping, throwing up): this email attachment... downloads? me: desktop

George Orwell’s Animal Crossing

I’ve been privileged enough to design my lifestyle around the idea of a 15 minute city. But FWIW, any time I bike somewhere there is a greater than zero chance I might accidentally swallow a bug.

If you've never heard YMO Rydeen, tonight is the perfect night to change your life

#1984 rb.gy/1wrebz

I just found out I was supposed to be climbing a ladder at work this whole time IN ADDITION to my normal job.

Every time I see an Adult Content tag

Cracker Barrel American Eagle War on Christmas: the right needs us to loathe them because that's central to their identity and operations, and if we don't they'll just fabricate it. Not news, but here's a new case of that:

The first Peanuts strip by Charles M. Schulz was published on October 2, 1950.

Hey here's a question why have six figure income NYT contributors done a hundred pieces on the dangers of letting children transition and zero about this

So a thing quietly happening in the background for awhile now is rich parents dosing their kids with growth hormone. I think it's hilarious we're gonna have a generation of seven foot three ogres who claim a working class background and get mad when you ask how they paid for that trip to Europe.

Wanted to help this escape Reddit containment: Farscape is popular in prisons (and in my house.)

It should be illegal to email me after the vyvanse has worn off.

I Survived a Smartphone Update In Which The Fonts and Layout Were Slightly Changed

sure would be a shame

a weary city cries out for its heroes

King Oscar Executive: Did you get that print ad for canned sardines ready? Ad Agency: Sure did boss, real fuckin sexy just like you asked. King Oscar: what

In awe at the size of this lad. Absolute unit.

Well wait a minute, am I watching things on television that are different from what's happening?

the amount of raw, unadulterated fear that many Americans have of even small cities is never going to stop being darkly hilarious to me

Holding out for the limited edition orange med bed. @grumpapotamus.bsky.social

The fact that these dudes are so out of shape that the guy had time to get into the proper bike lane…

The Trump medbed video reminds me of the time he thought Vince McMahon died in a car bombing

Trying to find an older social media post where someone said something like “if you die in the greater Rochester area you respawn at the nearest Wegmans” Many people have made this joke but I want to find the original.

Me and @grumpapotamus.bsky.social are gonna be the oldest people at the bbno$ show. I’ll be sure to take plenty of vitamins that day.

Announcer: “Tonight’s finale episode of St. Elsewhere is sponsored by Tylenol.”

Imagine if you started a Reichstag fire, but nobody came

haha... hey little guys... whatcha up to

Everyone keeps posting about a rapture outfit but I’m still wearing my Star Trek Discovery bathrobe. This is fine I guess.

Post a random Star Trek image

They threw beans on him.

Honestly I should probably clean my bike for real instead of just squirting chain lube onto the drive train like it’s bbq sauce. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I’m not even well known online and this happened to me once on twitter. Some guy got all weird because I said the museum I live near should repatriate their collection of Native American remains. Among other things it kinda creeps me out that they are just sorta there :gestures out window:

Dopamine is cheaper than it’s ever been, but it’s also way less potent.

Do things feel worse than they did even a few weeks ago? It’s like some sort of spiraling the drain effect and we just keep going faster.

People post the most ridiculous plants to the WNY foraging group asking “is this edible?” No, that’s poison ivy.