every alien woman in TOS after they see Kirk:

(spotted at a park by my workplace)

at ellis island he changed his name from groguwitz

Pasttime With a Fun But Ultimately Apocryphal Attribution

I wish you well in your adult literacy journey

my husband is starting a wind waker playthrough and all i can think of is this iconic post from texts from the sea (windwakertfln on tumblr)

my husband, after i told him this: “…were they running Spirit Airlines‽”

apparently it’s also “you’ve got another *think* coming” which shook me to my core

yes yes and a thousand times yes

not to be all “this ⬇️” but… this ⬇️

announcing ILÚVATAR, my multi-billion dollar company which will specialize in the dismantling of all other idiotically tolkien-named entities, that they shalt see that no theme may be played that hath not its uttermost source in me, nor can any alter the music in my despite

i forget who said “why should i bother to read what you didn’t bother to write?” and i think about it constantly

i too yearn for a world without form, and void, with darkness on the face of the deep

perhaps the greatest meme i have ever seen…bravo

cc @komaniecki.bsky.social

nevermind gym crushes, i want to hear about your gym nemesis mine struts around like a peacock taking up an outrageous amount of space & in the steam room he stands next to the the steam vent and makes a little towel tent so that every particle of steam emitted touches his balls first 🤢

first revert to hold the highest office?

Folks, good news: The Onion is a hundred or so subs away from reaching the long-awaited number of 69,420 paid print subscribers. If you’re that one magic subscriber, we’ll send you a mystery gift box as a thanks. Sign up or regret it forever. We’re on sale for a week. Make sexweed number history.

what stage of capitalism is this

apparently i’ve never had a unique experience

(CW: suicide, transphobia) just played the funeral of a 19-year-old who died by suicide – i remember when i met them in middle school (they briefly took piano with me) that they were just starting to explore their gender identity, and i gather that they never felt able to embrace their true self 1/

i mistook the A in “departs” for an O and accidentally made it a The Onion headline

i know that my heart will goon

search your camera roll for hell

do u think the road sign welcoming you to town just says “…m’lady”

🕯 🕯 🕯 🕯 🕯 🕯 Barb and Star 🕯 sequel 🕯 🕯 🕯 🕯 🕯

and pretty impressive they managed to bag Piazzolla to write the theme tune

full brag but getting an almost five-second freestanding handstand as a fat guy was one of the most satisfying things I've done in a long time

see it goes to show that if you ask nicely the leopards will let you opt out of having your face eaten so really no one needs to worry 😌

A NEW HAND TOUCHES THE BELL PEPPERS

not only is he now indisputably the most popular and funniest person named Robert making short-form video content related (but not limited) to classical music, but if we’re really in a fitness arms race (his words/pun) he’s definitely winning 💖

my collection of workout shirts with subtle nerdy references is lost on my fellow gym-goers, I fear

😏😏😏

hot wheels x busytown crossover WHEN??

there’s something so existentially bleak about using an LLM to write your social media posts, but on HEVY‽‽! of all places??? what are we even doing here at this point

as a person who grew up in LA in the 80s and 90s this activated me like a sleeper agent

“it is meet and right so to do” slaps hard ngl

Idk who needs to hear this but ACAB includes ancient aliens

i know it’s often done in jest, but i’ll go one further and say that one cannot self-identify as a himbo. that level of self-awareness is definitionally antithetical to the true spirit of the himbo and a diminishment of the same.

*audience chanting* OH! SO! CLOSE!

when we consider changing the Lord’s Prayer to contemporary language for a season:

i know some of you are into that (hey, no judgement) but in this context a comma would have gone a long way

my husband got me this knit polo for christmas and i was skeptical at first but he ate i fear

♫♪♫ said the night wind to the little lamb:

not on *my* Christian Minecraft server!!1!