perhaps the greatest meme i have ever seen…bravo

cc @komaniecki.bsky.social

nevermind gym crushes, i want to hear about your gym nemesis mine struts around like a peacock taking up an outrageous amount of space & in the steam room he stands next to the the steam vent and makes a little towel tent so that every particle of steam emitted touches his balls first 🤢

first revert to hold the highest office?

Folks, good news: The Onion is a hundred or so subs away from reaching the long-awaited number of 69,420 paid print subscribers. If you’re that one magic subscriber, we’ll send you a mystery gift box as a thanks. Sign up or regret it forever. We’re on sale for a week. Make sexweed number history.

what stage of capitalism is this

apparently i’ve never had a unique experience

(CW: suicide, transphobia) just played the funeral of a 19-year-old who died by suicide – i remember when i met them in middle school (they briefly took piano with me) that they were just starting to explore their gender identity, and i gather that they never felt able to embrace their true self 1/

i mistook the A in “departs” for an O and accidentally made it a The Onion headline

i know that my heart will goon

search your camera roll for hell

do u think the road sign welcoming you to town just says “…m’lady”

🕯 🕯 🕯 🕯 🕯 🕯 Barb and Star 🕯 sequel 🕯 🕯 🕯 🕯 🕯

and pretty impressive they managed to bag Piazzolla to write the theme tune

full brag but getting an almost five-second freestanding handstand as a fat guy was one of the most satisfying things I've done in a long time

see it goes to show that if you ask nicely the leopards will let you opt out of having your face eaten so really no one needs to worry 😌

A NEW HAND TOUCHES THE BELL PEPPERS

not only is he now indisputably the most popular and funniest person named Robert making short-form video content related (but not limited) to classical music, but if we’re really in a fitness arms race (his words/pun) he’s definitely winning 💖

my collection of workout shirts with subtle nerdy references is lost on my fellow gym-goers, I fear

😏😏😏

hot wheels x busytown crossover WHEN??

there’s something so existentially bleak about using an LLM to write your social media posts, but on HEVY‽‽! of all places??? what are we even doing here at this point

as a person who grew up in LA in the 80s and 90s this activated me like a sleeper agent

“it is meet and right so to do” slaps hard ngl

Idk who needs to hear this but ACAB includes ancient aliens

i know it’s often done in jest, but i’ll go one further and say that one cannot self-identify as a himbo. that level of self-awareness is definitionally antithetical to the true spirit of the himbo and a diminishment of the same.

*audience chanting* OH! SO! CLOSE!

when we consider changing the Lord’s Prayer to contemporary language for a season:

i know some of you are into that (hey, no judgement) but in this context a comma would have gone a long way

my husband got me this knit polo for christmas and i was skeptical at first but he ate i fear

♫♪♫ said the night wind to the little lamb:

not on *my* Christian Minecraft server!!1!

Total Stranger at the water park: “looks like our kids have made friends” me: “yeah! cute~” TS: “so did you guys use a surrogate?” me: “what?” TS: “a surrogate! did you guys use one?” me: “idk what you mean” TS: “was he born by a surrogate?” me: “sorry, what’s that?” (this went on for 4 more rounds)

it’s called @killthecomputer.com now smh

POST A RANDOM PICTURE OR ELSE EVERYTHING WILL GO BAD IN 2026

Episcopalians mentioned 🕯️🕯️🕯️

one of the only other people wearing a mask on this flight (a KN95, and worn properly at that!) was sitting in the row in front of me and watched Fox News the entire time I just…have a lot of questions…that’s a Venn diagram intersection I had not anticipated…

brb planning a meetup for the next time the aurora is visible this far south in Chalmers, IN

imagine being one letter away from your name being Rollin N. Dick

me to the stack of books on my bedside table:

Quote with your four best pics of 2025! Pls and thank you 😁

::youth pastor voice:: y’know i hear people talkin’ about GLP-1… and GPT-5… but what about GOD-the-3-in-1?

Newly Unsealed Batch Of Epstein Estate Photos Contains Rare Holographic Dershowitz

GOD: if my commandments get 50,000 likes, i will tell Abraham to kill his son

a father at the children’s haircutting place is wearing a sweater with text i can’t make out except for one word – perfectly framed by his jacket: “asshole” not that i’m a prude (and all the children here are preliterate) but maybe we should bring back Shame™

"THIS BLOCKCHAINS I FORGED IN LIFE JOEY"

as someone who lives in a red state and still routinely masks in public, seeing this (from a colleague who is organizing a combined diocesan choir for an upcoming service) made me feel surprisingly emotional…it’s just been so long since i’ve seen anyone talk about masking in my community 😭