Good morning gorgeous @clazysazybadazy1.bsky.social 😘

Let go of your mistakes and failures. You can't do anything about the past, but you can do something about right now. Don't sit around waiting for inspiration to come to you. Go out and find it. Decide to embrace change. It's the gateway to new possibilities. Go kick some Tuesday ass❣️ Much Love ♥️💋🌹

What an amazing cover. Pure magic ✨🎶 youtu.be/pZwbL4s1Rr4?...

Sorry I was late, I was too busy pacing around my apartment for no reason.

According to my chiropractor there’s A LOT of tension in my neck and shoulders so I dropped the motherfucker.

My brain is a group chat I can’t leave.

I’m writing a book about the decline and fall of butter rum lifesavers

I wanna go home

We’re the last of a great generation if you were born between the years 1965-1980 you lived the real golden age of America life.

Let this be your Monday reminder that you aren't just here to do shit. You're here to enjoy life, to be happy, and to love yourself. Have you ever stopped and noticed all the beautiful things that make you, you? They’re countless. Keep smiling. Hope you had an excellent weekend. Much Love✌🏻♥️💋🎶🌹

Stop throwing marriage into the conversation, we are just here to have a good time and get off with each other, don't complicate things with relationships and shit...

Yum 💋

Can we get it on already….Im late for my coma

Happy Fucking Friday! May your heart and bourbon glass both overflow today. Congrats on all your success this week. Hope you have an amazing weekend spending some much needed time with family and friends. Got my flops on today…finally! Go kick some Friday ass❣️ Much Peace & Love✌🏻♥️🥰💋🌹🤘🎶🥃

A woman's true beauty has nothing to do with her size or her face. It's her intelligence, her laughter, and her grace under pressure. I'm both the beauty and the beast. Who you meet depends on who you are. Hard to tame, and impossible to forget. Go kick some Monday ass ❣️ much Peace & Love✌🏻♥️💋🌹🖤💋🥃

The centre of a donut should be called a glory hole. Fuck it. Send.

"I'm a pretty quick study" - Me, a man celebrating 43 years of squirting a little mustard water on his bread

I passed my driver’s test by putting the examiner in the backseat with a hooker. We both finished at the same time.

Focaccia, as an expletive

What a shame they just let it go, no reply, no answer, just gone. Not only is that disrespectful, it’s disappointing. It’s shows their character, not yours.

If you go down on a wine mom is it a wine tasting?

Sorry I missed your phone call, I was waiting for it to stop ringing so I could text you back to ask what you want.

Calling me is a hate crime

Channel your energy into gratitude and your love into your family and friends, and have a happy fucking Friday! Congrats on all your success this week. Cheers to you and an excellent weekend! Go kick some Friday ass❣️ Much Peace & Love ✌🏻♥️💋🥰🎶✨🥃

🥃

I told myself I’d save money by cooking at home. Now I own $600 worth of spices and only cook pasta with butter.

Nobody ever tells me to just bring myself.

By simply and profoundly giving love to yourself every day in every way, you’re saying to the Universe that you’re worthy of attaining any dream, vision, or goal. Feel worthy and proud of it. Inner peace begins when you embrace your imperfections. Go kick some humpday ass❣️ Much Peace & Love ✌🏻♥️💋🥰🌹🎶

Sorry your BF thinks “labia majora” is a constellation.

Netflix & Chill? 🥃

Some people thrive on drama. You don't have to stay for their performance. Respect yourself so much that you never again allow disrespect. Be a voice, not an echo. You’re fucking amazing. Hope you have an awesome weekend. Go kick some Friday ass❣️ Much Peace & Love ✌🏻♥️🌹💋🥃

Souls that are empty will try to drain you of your enthusiasm, learn to recognize them and run. Believe in your fucking self and all that you are. Your purpose is the light that shines within you. You glow. You shine. 🌟 You're an absolute rock star! 🎶 Go kick some Thursday ass❣️Much Peace & Love✌🏻♥️

Character is higher than intellect. A great soul will be strong to think as well as strong to live. Your goals aren't just about what you accomplish. They're about who you become in the process. You are a fucking miracle. Embrace your existence. Now go kick some humpday ass❣️ Much Peace & Love✌🏻♥️

The more you know your worth, the less you chase what isn't meant for you. You’re not for everyone—and that's a good thing. Shine without permission. Trust in yourself. You’ll be damn glad you did. Hope you had an excellent weekend. Happy Fat Tuesday! Go kick some ass❣️ Much Peace & Love✌🏻♥️💋

Happy Hearts day! 🫶♥️💋🌹

On your knees! Two more days ♥️

Happy Humpday! Valentine’s Day is right around the corner ♥️💋

I'm smart and intelligent. A real triple threat.

Sometimes I want to be like Oprah and give each of you a car but Hot Wheels®️ are really expensive these days.

my lawyer: so, just to be clear, in your eventual passing you wish to be cremated & your ashes are to be sprinkled on top of every arby’s restaurant within a five mile radius? me, drinking pickle juice right out of the jar: correct.

Gonna be a bright…bright sunshiny day! ☀️

🖤🩶🤍

You’re pretty fucked up. What do you charge not to talk? *Me as a therapist