Unwrap me

Stop dreaming about doing me and just do me, I'm easy like that...

What's the difference between your penis and a bonus check? Someone's always willing to blow your bonus.

It’s about that time

Who wants to ditch this place, go get some orgasms and an ice cream cone afterwards???

You’re the greatest asset in your life. Struggles not only make us into stronger, better, and wiser people, they also let us learn more about ourselves and our purpose in life. Out of all my body parts, my eyes are in the best shape. I do at least 327 eye rolls a day. Much Peace & Love ✌🏻♥️💋🥰

I don't go crazy. I am crazy. I just go normal from time to time which ain’t that often. Happy Fucking Friday! Congratulations on all your accomplishments this week. Hope you have an excellent weekend spending time with family and friends. Go kick some Friday ass❣️ Much Peace & Love ✌🏻❤️‍🔥💋🥃☀️

The only keeper of your happiness is you. Stop giving people the power to control your smile, your worth and your attitude. I see you sitting in that parking lot, needing five more minutes before you walk in and become everything for everyone again. Go kick some humpday ass❣️ Much Peace & Love✌🏻♥️ 💋🎶🥰

A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel hanging from his belt. The bartender asks, "What's that for?" The pirate responds, "Aarrr, its driving me nuts".

I really don’t want to Monday. Please tell me I don’t have to 💋

What a gorgeous weekend on SOMD! Nonna is wiped out and needs a deep tissue massage 😉

Nite 💋🥃

Care to join me? 💋🥃

I find it odd that everyone around me is getting older and yet here I am, in complete denial

I told my kid that in Sweden a karate instructor is callled a svensei and then my wife called the cops.

Your uniqueness is your superpower. Don’t ever change because someone wants or asks you to. Continue to love yourself. I see your beauty pouring from the inside out. It’s absolutely gorgeous outside today. You’re my gift! We fucking made it! Go kick some Friday ass❣️ Much Peace & Love✌🏻♥️🌹💋🥃🎶

Therapist: Where do you want to start? Me: I saw a flamenco dancer in my hair glob this morning Therapist: I'm going to need cash upfront

Feeling grateful or appreciative of someone or something in your life actually attracts more of the things that you appreciate and value into your life. Even your softest voice has power when it speaks the truth of your worth. Thanks for being you! Go kick some Thursday ass❣️ Much Peace & Love✌🏻♥️💋🌹

Word

Wore my sassy sandals today 🥰

Say what you want about snakes but those sumbitches can shimmy

Something about white lace that hugs just right 🤍💋 happy 🍑 day

Coffee is ready ☕️😘

Sinday snuggles?

When your dog has a sense of humor. 😆

God gave you two hands to handle a handful like me. You know I’m mentally on a beach with a Bay Breeze in hand 🍹 guess I have to settle for being in the office and dealing with clients so I can get to that beach someday….forever! 😘 Go kick some Thursday ass❣️ Much Peace & Love✌🏻♥️🌺🍹😎

If you want to make your dream come true, the first thing you gotta do is wake the fuck up. Don't just talk about it, be about it. Hope you had an amazing weekend! Go kick some Monday Ass❣️ Much Peace & Love ✌🏻♥️💋☀️😎

Cheers to the freakin weekend 😎

I could get used to this 🖤🤍☀️

Been one of those days. Vacation next month can’t come soon enough

No thanks. I don't want the extra virgin olive oil. I like mine to come lightly fucked.

My work week is finally over, now lets get naked and see what happens

Hope all you exceptional mommas have a great Sunday! You deserve all the very best for succeeding at the most difficult job in the world. My amazing daughters got their momma a ticket to Godsmack, Stone Temple Pilots and Dorothy for Sunday. Blessed! Go kick some Friday ass❣️ Much Peace & Love✌🏻♥️🎶🥃

🔥 nite

Acknowledge and respect your worth, and refuse to accept anything less. Sometimes you just gotta keep calm and roll your eyes. Far from average, more like savage 😈 My heart is pure, but this mouth is corrupt. Hope you’re kicking some Thursday ass❣️ Much Peace & Love✌🏻♥️💋🌹🎶

Let your soul shine ✨ 🥰🌹🖤💋♥️

May the 4th be with you 🖤💋

Option A: Spend your life trying to get others to accept you. Option B: Accept yourself & spend your life with others who recognize what an absolute beauty you are. Just in case you haven’t been told this today: good morning, keep smiling, you’re amazing. Go kick some Monday ass❣️ Much Peace & Love

I believe in process. I believe in four seasons. I believe that winter's tough, but spring's coming. I believe that there's a growing season. And I think that you realize that in life, you grow. You get better. You learn. You thrive. You appreciate. You breathe. You’re loved. Peace & Love✌🏻💋🌹♥️🎶

All the things that make you different make you perfect. No such thing as spare time, no such thing as free time, no such thing as downtime. All you've got is this lifetime. Make it your goal to be the reason someone has a good day today. Go kick some Tuesday Ass❣️ Much Peace & Love✌🏻♥️💋😘🥰🎶

Cheers to tattoo Tuesday! 🥃🥰

Chillin

You are your best investment. Are you happy, or are you comfortable? You could be the smartest person on Earth, but nobody will care if you can't carry yourself the right way. Show these assholes the magic of your positivity! Hope you had a great weekend. Kick some Monday ass❣️Much Peace & Love✌🏻♥️

What a hell of a week! I’m outta here. Whiskey time! Cheers to the weekend! 💋😘🌹🥃

Live life fully while you're here. Take care of yourself and your friends. Have fun, be crazy, be weird. Go out and screw up….you’re allowed. Happy Fucking Friday! Hope you have an excellent weekend! Cookout in the rain tomorrow, parents coming over on Sunday. Much Peace & Love✌🏻♥️🌹🥰🥃

Never dull your shine for somebody else. Your story, your scars, your soul—they all make you priceless. You’re fucking amazing! Hope you had a great weekend. Go kick some Monday ass! Much Peace & Love✌🏻♥️💋🌹🎶

7 hours…love the final outcome

Never let anyone else's doubt become your belief. True intelligence is the willingness to accept that you might be wrong. Find something beautiful, and notice what you have in common with it. I think you’re beautiful! Hope you’re kicking some serious Thursday ass❣️ Much Peace & Love ✌🏻♥️🌹🥰💋😘🎶

To be truly happy, focus on three things: What you give, what you learn, and who you become. Your soul knows what it needs. Set it free and watch yourself be even more fucking amazing. Kindness is the light that dissolves all walls between souls. Thank you for being kind to my soul. Much Love✌🏻♥️💋🥰🌹