If you’re rooting for anyone to be turned away from an Emergency Room there’s not words I can say out loud or online about you that won’t have authorities knocking on my door.

@danton90.bsky.social I'm back baby!

Imagine hating me and I’m just over here hating myself way more than you ever could.

Her: Hi. Me: I’m not looking to get involved with anyone. Her: I have key lime pie. Me: I will go down on you for as long as you want every day forever.

yeah, I’m into red light therapy

It's 2:35 am and my downstairs neighbors are going at it, and by the sound of it my boy is putting in that work. Good for his lady I guess.

The American healthcare system is a joke, and not a good one.

Snoop and Tom Brady: say no to hate Kendrick: actually

I love The Big Sick but now when I watch it I imagine @kumail.bsky.social in his current absolutely ripped state and the movie is somehow funnier. He's got a hit those macros in-between being sad.

Living in a dystopia and still having to go to work is bullshit.

I'm on a journey to eat healthier. God I miss gas station food. It's like an abusive lover, I know it's bad for me but I can't help but want to go back.

I apologise to everyone who follows this account for investment advice and who lost money due to my recent post “invest all your money in hamburgers”. It turns out I was just hungry

found the terrace where everyone was watching you

I wish we could easily get kei trucks in the US... Or housing... Or healthcare... Or education...

Bonked my head today. I wouldn't recommend it.

@samreich.bsky.social I hope you and all of the dropout team are safe and ok.

I've not had sugar since December 28th and I'm fighting for my life resisting the urge to buy all the candy.

You know what I'm just gonna say it, I don't care if someone in the entertainment industry is a nepo baby if they have the skill and talent to do a good job. No one gives a guy that's an electrician shit just because his dad was also an electrician.

Look at this lil asshole.

Me: Can you teach me to do the splits? Gym Instructor: How flexible are you? Me: I can’t do Tuesdays…

Is a hat like pants for your head or is it more like shoes for your head?