How to pronounce the names of the Capital Cities of Australia. Canberra = Kam-bra Sydney = Sid-nee Melbourne = Mel-bin Adelaide = Ad-laid Perth = Perf Brisbane = Briz-bin Hobart = Hoe-bart Darwin = Duh-win #australia #australian #MeanwhileInAustralia

Pretty close… just need to swap New York and California. #Australia

With great reflexes comes great response ability.

What do you call an escalator that stops working? No one cares. Release the Epstein Files!

Your shadow is confirmation that light has traveled nearly 93 million miles unobstructed, only to be deprived of reaching the ground in the last few feet. Thanks to you.

The other half just called me a sex machine. They said “fucking tool”, but I know what they mean.

Sometimes Science will disprove long held beliefs… …like I before E, except after C.

I read today about a new kind of suction cup that uses both air-pressure differential as well as making use of Van der Waals forces. I’m not sure how they pulled that off…

I read today about a new kind of suction cup that uses both air-pressure differential as well as making use of Van der Waals forces. I’m not sure how they pulled that off…

I am old enough to remember when the Disney Channel was commercial free and came with your regular cable subscription. Now, Disney nickel-and-dimes you to watch 50 year-old cartoons.

The reinstatement of Jimmy Kimmel is no reason to reinstate your Disney+ subscription. Say no to fascism.

Everything is relative. ~ Albert Einstein Everyone’s a relative. ~ Charles Darwin

What day is it? It’s always Monday somewhere, right? It’s Always Monday On The Moon ~ #Dgar Bandcamp: dgar.bandcamp.com/track/its-al... Other places: ffm.to/dgaritsalway... #DgarMusic #Indie #Rock #Music

Argentina can get cold at times. In fact, it’s bordering on Chile.

You sneaky little fkr.

Got deodorant in my mouth. Spoke with an Axe scent.

What day is it? It’s always Monday somewhere, right? It’s Always Monday On The Moon ~ #Dgar Bandcamp: dgar.bandcamp.com/track/its-al... Other places: ffm.to/dgaritsalway... #DgarMusic #Indie #Rock #Music

Four out of three people struggle with math.

Avoidable. What matadors do.

Me: I saw who took my socks! Them: Did you go after them? Me: No. I got cold feet.

Someone wasn’t happy with this idea

Here’s a neat little party trick you can surprise your friends with. If you take your age and add five to it, that’s how old you’ll be in five years!

Me: Bruce and I are teaming up for a 3 member mission and are looking for a second person. Would you like to join us? Them: Uhh... do you mean a third person? Me: Bruce is 3rd person, I is first person, you is second person

Play anyway. Write anyway. Dance anyway. Draw anyway. Lift anyway. Run anyway. Film anyway. Photograph anyway. Design anyway. Build anyway. Create anyway. And you will learn. And as you learn you’ll improve. And as you improve, you’ll barely recognize who you were from when you started.

My parachute broke up with me, but at least it let me down easy.

To whoever took my antidepressants: I hope you’re happy!

T-shirt is short for Tyrannosaurus shirt, because of the short arms.

I love green more than blue and yellow combined.

Sometimes, late at night, while I try to fall asleep in bed, I wonder what life choices I would have to make to be the guy who says 'yeah' in the background of hip-hop songs.

May your coffee be strong, and your Mondays be short. ✌️

This Australian kingfisher camouflaged themselves as a goat.

“How beautiful a day can be, when kindness touches it!” ~ George Elliston