That moment when you send your boss a link to @funkittoys.bsky.social website because she's curious about your friend who makes dildos...

The drunk uncle theory. You don’t argue with the casually homophobic uncle at Thanksgiving dinner to change his mind; you argue so that the closeted cousin at the kids table knows there’s safe people and better possibilities out there

Mamdani apparently just pulled the kid out of the Omelas hole. Turns out we could've done it anytime

New sex discovery: CEILING PORN Use a mini projector to put your favorite porn on the ceiling. Hop in bed with partner(s) and enjoy the ease of pleasuring each other while watching your favorite hotness...until you are so worked up watching is no longer the priority.

I'm snowed in and just sang a duet with myself to Hazbin Hotel's "Loser" using a vibrator as a microphone. How are you today?

Text exchange between my 21 year old eldest offspring and me. I don't pull punches or sugarcoat anything when discussing her father's behavior at this point.

i am so sick of the dumbest people alive being in charge of everything and the second dumbest people alive writing opinion columns about how it's good

Had to go back to the NYE party house to retrieve my bra. It was a very fun night!

I don't know if this happens to other people, but sometimes a meme reminds me so much of someone in my life that my brain reads it in their voice. And then I know I have to send it to that person.

Discovered Wordle now has a feature where you can create your own puzzle and send it to anybody you want. Immediately tried to see what sexual/sexy words it would take, because I am a mature adult.

18b is on the dating apps. This has led to some very deep conversations about toxic masculinity. She has only ever dated other women and she is curious about men. But also pretty terrified.

I love watching my partners flirt with new people. @thecurler3.bsky.social currently has the attention of a gay dom, and I am cheering this on!!!

That moment when Facebook decides to suggest your ex-husband as a friend...to your boyfriend. I have no idea if it suggested The Curler to The Ex. If so, it's possible that he could have learned I'm dating a married man.

PSA for business traveling friends: Grubhub/Doordash/Uber Eats can be used to get a vibrator delivered to your hotel. Look for a CVS, Walgreen's or other regular store that carries a few vibes and get your buzz on.

The Curler: That wasn't very ladylike. Me: Things That Aren't Going to Change for a thousand, Alex... (Note: the ladylike thing is a running joke, he's not an asshole. 😂)

My traditional San Diego airport breakfast is Panda Express orange chicken, but this flight is too early for that. I opted for Jack in the Box Extreme Sausage because of course I did.

"So Dad finally came over to hang my shelves. He put one hole in the wall and decided he needed a different drill bit. Left all his tools behind and hasn't been back. Now I not only don't have shelves, there's a hole in the wall and I'm tripping over his shit." - 18a

so the new york times could very well have destroyed donald trump's presidential run due to epstein back in 2015 but chose not too. awesome. 🙄

My takeaway from every new Epstein revelation is that some powerful people victimized many powerless young women, many more knew, some actively enabled it--and we're still being told that MeToo and accountability for sexual violence have gone too far

Oh look, the completely predictable outcome happened...

Well, my plans are sorted for 11/22! Friends, if any of you are gonna be in DC too, let me know! www.removetheregime.com

Update: Things are not improving. And I'm sick.

I WOULD LIKE ONE FUCKING DAY OF WORK WITHOUT A FUCKING CRISIS PRETTY PLEASE WITH SUGAR ON TOP IS THAT TOO MUCH TO FUCKING ASK??? *takes deep, cleansing breaths* So, how was your day? I'm just livin' the dream over here!

saw this and my brain immediately went, “I mean, only if your dom is a hypnokinkster who wants you blank-brained”

Midwest Slut Tour, Day 3. Hit the No Kings protest, now settling in the hotel room where we'll meet up with a friend before the BDSM club tonight.

Currently on my Midwest Slut Tour, day 2. First day involved some sneaky fuckery in public, an office blow job and a threesome with a partner and his sub. Slept in this morning, for obvious reasons. 😂 Tonight, we travel to City #2 to a swinger/sex club.

When we write or draw porn or erotica, we get banned from having a bank account and our livelihoods get seized even if we give it away for free. When billionaires steal what we've written or drawn to churn out a slop-approximate of porn, they're allowed to charge for it.

Somebody took a pic of me last night by the campfire, dressed as Chappell Roan and chugging prosecco straight from the bottle. I am very sad that too many co-workers follow me on Facebook to make that my new profile pic.

Joy is an act of resistance under fascism. Practising joy does not mean you’re refusing to acknowledge the horrors. Help and protect your communities, support mutual aid when able, and continue doing the things you love.

So, I got my COVID shot yesterday and my body is apparently doing Weird Side Effects today. Once, I had a golf ball sized lymph node in my armpit after a booster. This time my entire left boob is swollen. 😳

Prepping for the final sexy camp of the year (next weekend) and having some deliciously dirty conversations about plans...

If you think Tylenol is bad for children’s health what until you see what guns do.

🚨NEW: "The Late Show with Stephen Colbert" just dropped its first response to ABC, FCC chair, and Disney firing Jimmy Kimmel. Trump ain't sleeping tonight. 🤣 This is a must-watch. 🔥

Here's my hot take. Tucker is out with the MAGAs and Trump & Co didn't come to his aid when he was shitcanned out of Fox. This and other conservatives suddenly giving a shit about a road too far are people who want to lead after Trump is gone, their brand of fascist fuckery.

Interesting that businesses are so quick to fire folks for not being sad that a bigot is dead, while firings for actual racist/sexist/abusive/pro-violence posts are relatively rare. The free speech crowd really doesn't like it when folks speak freely about them.

I just got asked for an ID getting a drink because I look under 40. I am damn near a decade past that, feeling pretty good!

Transgender people are owed a retraction and apology from @wsj.com. The lie has already become canon to millions and it seems the least they could do.

Oh look, the alleged shooter is...the son of a conservative, pro-gun family who is a US citizen, cisgender and by all appearances supported Trump. I'm sure every politician and pundit who blamed "the radical left" will be apologizing today...🙄

High Me just ate a toasted marshmallow between a Samoa cookie and a fudge covered graham cracker and it was positively SUBLIME.

Final night at sexy camp. Last night was a delightful four person pile up on the platform bed...we shall see what tonight brings. But for now, we're roasting marshmallows.

Look at this graph. The share of national income going to the richest 10 percent was lowest (and share to lower 90 percent highest) when union membership was at its highest. As unions have weakened, inequality has widened. This is why we must build back union power.

The Free State of Florida is now trying to ban *sidewalk chalking*

Celebrated the end of a rough week by sipping prosecco, getting blazed and aggressively riding a thick cock in the great outdoors until my legs gave out. Fellow campers thanked us for the soundtrack this morning. The mattress we used is gonna need a day or three to dry...😂

18b needed help hanging shelves and such in her apartment. She asked me to come over and assist. I remember back when she was just 12b, looking on with surprise as I assembled furniture and hung shelves in our newly purchased house. She didn't know women could do those things.

Nothing enhances productivity like multiple client contacts and various members of corporate leadership all having different visions/priorities. If you need me, I'll be screaming into the void.

Benefits of the kids going off to college #1: I can watch porn WITH THE VOLUME UP! #2 - I don't have to control MY volume.

If you ever visited my house, the question "Why do you have [weird thing/normal thing in a weird place]?" would come up a lot. And the answer is either "Damn kids" or "Because I'm a neurodivergent goblin".

He and his ideas on parenting can rot in hell. And I hope every child harmed by his philosophy gets a turn to give him a taste of his own bitter medicine.

Today I learned that if I base a portion of my new work password on a TikTok sound, I will proceed to sing that sound repeatedly throughout the entire fucking day. Jury is still out on whether this is a bug or a feature.

Trump wants to get rid of mail-in ballots so he can intimidate voters with federal troops stationed at the polling stations. Hard to scare people who can just quietly mail in their votes. Protect mail-in voting at all cost.