Zach Heltzel
@zachheltzel.bsky.social
📤 1400
📥 308
📝 2051
Academy Award winning writer and director of SWIMFAN.
Filmmaking is an inherently autistic profession. You take what are essentially the blueprints for assembly in a factory and use them to emotionally manipulate people.
about 10 hours ago
1
10
1
ChatGPT is really fucking up my whole deal because I’ve always been a big fan of em dashes.
about 13 hours ago
0
6
0
Evelyn Normielib has very quickly become acutely aware of who people like Laura Loomer and Nick Fuentes are. Her fervor is the result of profound shock and disgust.
about 13 hours ago
0
4
0
secure.actblue.com/donate/bores...
add a skeleton here at some point
about 14 hours ago
1
3
0
reposted by
Zach Heltzel
jenn schiffer 🕷️🕯️
about 15 hours ago
all of you are very annoying but i also am very annoying
0
216
36
reposted by
Zach Heltzel
Ben Siemon
about 16 hours ago
Man the "Wicked: For Good" ad budget is insane.
add a skeleton here at some point
0
94
15
reposted by
Zach Heltzel
Michael Varrati
about 18 hours ago
Wild to think that there's a junior exec walking around Manhattan right now who, within a month, will be sent by her firm back to her hometown to close a local business, only to run into a former-flame turned tree-farming cookie enthusiast who'll change her life via the power of Christmas.
5
89
24
reposted by
Zach Heltzel
River_Tam
about 19 hours ago
Yes, why indeed did social media going global coincide with an international network of fascists springing up with chapters in every country
add a skeleton here at some point
3
109
12
reposted by
Zach Heltzel
Tom
about 19 hours ago
Really, it's the "now look what you've made me do... this hurts me more than it hurts you" abuser mindset that animates the underlying politics to begin with
add a skeleton here at some point
0
37
5
about 20 hours ago
1
7
0
reposted by
Zach Heltzel
Coach Finstock
about 22 hours ago
Kendrick, Joyce Carol Oates, Menswear Guy, and Isaac Chotiner are the Voltron of People You Don't Want Focusing on You
57
4158
792
Am I to believe there is supposed to be plot continuity between different Bond actors? Because what the fuck are we talking about here?
add a skeleton here at some point
about 23 hours ago
2
13
0
reposted by
Zach Heltzel
Mehdi Hasan
1 day ago
Sheesh
zeteo.com/p/senate-dem...
191
4526
1786
add a skeleton here at some point
1 day ago
0
9
2
So uhh…do I need to absolutely clear out my local dispensary right now?
1 day ago
0
4
0
Joker Joker I am the Joker
add a skeleton here at some point
1 day ago
1
6
0
reposted by
Zach Heltzel
bring on the dancing turkeys
1 day ago
oh god he fell in love with a chat bot
add a skeleton here at some point
1
44
2
reposted by
Zach Heltzel
Carl Quintanilla
2 days ago
OSCAR ISAAC, on whether he'd return to "Star Wars": ".. Yeah. I mean, I’d be open to it, although right now I’m not so open to working with Disney. But if they can kinda figure it out and, you know, not succumb to fascism, that would be great."
@variety.com
$DIS
variety.com/2025/film/ne...
loading . . .
Oscar Isaac Was ‘Not So Open to Working With Disney’ After Jimmy Kimmel Suspension, Said He’d Return to ‘Star Wars’ if Disney Does ‘Not Succumb to Fascism’
Oscar Isaac was not open to working with Disney after Jimmy Kimmel's suspension and will only return to 'Star Wars' if the studio avoids fascism.
https://variety.com/2025/film/news/oscar-isaac-star-wars-disney-fascism-1236573930/
161
11735
2579
reposted by
Zach Heltzel
s. e. smith
3 days ago
Anyway a great way to radicalize people is for them to realize that you just abandoned their chance at being able to access and afford health care because you didn’t like waiting in line at the airport.
10
11409
3229
reposted by
Zach Heltzel
Chris Person
9 months ago
Trying not to respond to every news update with “Gun”
14
980
160
Senate Democrats sold out millions of vulnerable people because they felt slightly inconvenienced at the airport.
3 days ago
0
9
0
reposted by
Zach Heltzel
Bill McKay
3 days ago
Give Bill Kristol an Eva and point him at the Senate Democratic Caucus.
4
199
31
I have a feeling a lot of Democrats, even ones who are not the problem, are going to get wiped out in the primaries by literally anyone else who runs.
3 days ago
0
5
1
Would it be weird if for my birthday, I send everyone I know an anonymous Google form to write about how they perceive me so I can share the data with my therapist?
3 days ago
1
7
0
reposted by
Zach Heltzel
Emily C. Hughes
4 days ago
pre-writing a devastating obituary for your enemy is god-tier hating of a kind you don’t often see anymore. renaissance haterism. beautiful stuff.
add a skeleton here at some point
13
14471
4453
Get Jennifer Lawrence and Robert Pattinson in a gross-out studio comedy. Hook ‘em up with those guys who did Game Night.
3 days ago
1
10
0
My unifying theory of our entire political moment is that the activists are right but they’re just too fucking annoying.
3 days ago
0
6
0
Good.
add a skeleton here at some point
4 days ago
0
3
0
Love to be overwhelmed and understimulated simultaneously. That totally makes sense!
4 days ago
0
5
1
Anything Zohran does is going to piss off someone. As long as he is, like, slightly better than Bill De Blasio, I’ll be satisfied.
add a skeleton here at some point
4 days ago
0
9
1
Target just became an exponentially more uncomfortable place to go, both as an employee and a customer.
add a skeleton here at some point
4 days ago
0
7
0
What is the level of famous where it stops being weird to know who they are but it starts being weird if you pretend not to know who they are?
5 days ago
3
6
0
I want to be a prolific podcast guest when I grow up.
5 days ago
0
8
0
Google has already won the AI race and Elon Musk is going to lose all his fucking money.
5 days ago
1
3
0
I don’t think it was their intention but this is the meanest thing anyone has ever said to me.
add a skeleton here at some point
5 days ago
0
6
0
AI is like if Tommy Wiseau was Dr. Manhattan
5 days ago
1
13
0
“HR issues at Conde Nast” being a major story is so second term Obama. Nature is healing.
5 days ago
0
5
0
I hope when Dems take back the House, they investigate the shit out of Amazon paying $40 million for a Melania Trump documentary when no other studio was willing to bid even a fraction of that.
6 days ago
0
9
1
reposted by
Zach Heltzel
Juan Desayuno
6 days ago
add a skeleton here at some point
6
418
101
reposted by
Zach Heltzel
Mike.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
7 days ago
It is officially time for the Democratic Party to stop wasting money on their out of touch consultant class, and start paying for insights from Bluesky posters named "<--- kill me" and "Kicked In The Farm Parts"
17
1256
203
My hack pundit take of the evening is that the ideological factions of the Democratic Party do not need to agree on their policy solutions, but it would benefit all of them if they could find consensus on the policy problems.
7 days ago
0
8
0
reposted by
Zach Heltzel
Disgraziato
7 days ago
"I wish Andrew Cuomo only the best in private life, but let tonight be the last time I utter his name" is a biblical-ass curse. that is CONTEMPT
add a skeleton here at some point
14
1684
282
This is going to be *the* story of the 2026 election. Every suburban woman who watches MSNBC is John Wick now.
add a skeleton here at some point
7 days ago
0
3
0
reposted by
Zach Heltzel
Velodus 🦃🍂
7 days ago
A 34-year-old as a politician: My god he's like a baby. It's like they just elected an infant to be their mayor. A 34-year-old as an athlete: You have to admire the bravery of him attempting that dunk, knowing full well the grim reaper is right behind him.
8
11324
2543
reposted by
Zach Heltzel
Flying Mezerkis
8 days ago
Getting madder and fucking things up, and demanding normal people worship him or threaten them is really not going to work and he doesn’t at all get this.
7
234
34
With tonight’s electorate, Democrats still probably wouldn’t take back the Senate, but if there’s a recession or things just generally feel more off the rails, then yeah.
7 days ago
0
5
1
Mira Nair thanked on live television, God we are so fuckin’ back
8 days ago
0
8
0
NBC calling Prop 50 at poll closing…lol. lmao, even.
8 days ago
0
7
0
They’re going to hold Zohran to such a high standard even though every single NYC mayor in my lifetime has sucked shit.
8 days ago
1
8
0
reposted by
Zach Heltzel
Zohran Kwame Mamdani
8 days ago
loading . . .
3225
87324
20934
Load more
feeds!
log in