🔔 DING DING DING 🔔 (listen to April. she is smart)

Opening line of my session: “Are you aware of The Gay Hockey show and how because of it Slavic accents are now the hottest thing in North America? Congrats. Also, it turns out I have some gay ass high school trauma to unpack.” I swear, I’m a delight to treat. 💅🏻

Bluesky really is for 38-year-olds because bringing back the OG facebook posting box at the top of the feed ✨HITS.✨ PANDER TO ME MORE.

Seeing my Slavic therapist for the first time since Heated Rivalry dropped and if she doesn’t know of the show already, she will today because we are doing SCENE STUDY in this session.

Shoutout to 2016 Sara who once told a staffer at Ron DeSantis’s office that I was POSITIVE that he was the worse elected official I would ever deal with. She was wrong. I’m now represented by Randy Fine. I hate it here.

everyone, come marvel at my shepherd’s pie. it tastes even better than it looks and I’m feeling smug as hell about it. 🥰

@booksandbows.bsky.social is the only correct answer

George W. Bush could have been the commissioner and he never would have done dumb shit like this. But no, we got war in the middle east and Rob Fucking Manfred.

Only ✨1,298 days✨ until we’re done with this goon.

i think it is ok to reiterate that the victim as a us citizen. yes, noncitizens are equally entitled to human rights. but also, it's important to illustrate how ice isn't about immigration at all

✨only 78 days to goooooo✨

remember in The Good Place how the The Good Place was run by a committee that was totally useless in doing anything to address issues or what The Bad Place was doing? I’m thinking about that for no reason at all today

Coping with our dumb country doing foreign intervention by buying FSA eligible k-beauty products. Let’s gooooooooooooo. 🙃

Just stating for the record: one of my loved ones died after taking dirty drugs laced with fentanyl. The argument that what the U.S. is doing in Venezuela is for me fills me with RAGE. what we’re doing in Venezuela is fucked and doesn’t make any of us safer. don’t do this shit in my name.

Welcome to BSky! The B stands for baseball. 82 days until opening day! ⚾️🏟️

Boy Aquarium at the Ballpark?! This is the Heated Rivalry crossover for me!

If I have to root for this man this season, I’m just gonna not?

BURY ME IN THIS MOMENT. Zohran, you have worked miracles for me.

Important day for @booksandbows.bsky.social

Lucy fucking Dacus singing Bread and Roses?! BASED AS HELL, LETS GOOOOO

My cat is named Toaster.

#NeverForgive #NeverForget blogs.fangraphs.com/we-are-the-j...

same vibes as a norman rockwell painting if you ask me.

Went for a walk to the town square—yes, I live in a Hallmark style beach town—and not only is my favorite hotdog guy here, but a Barves fan walked past me and I managed not to nash my teeth at him. How adult! 2026 is starting off right!

Andy Pages unknowingly screwing up Emmanuel Clase’s bet

Okay, my previous tweet was a lie. Liar told you that. Jonah Tong became a major league pitcher this year and won his first outing. Best sports moment of my year, and it’s not even close. 🧡💙

He really is the baddest bitch in baseball.

Happy Socialist Mayor Inauguration Eve to all who observe! 🍎

Reporting back on Jonah Tong's Maple Syrup Grilled Cheese situation. The bed head is a paid actor.

WELCOME TO THE CLUB! #Infield4Lyfe #2ndBaseForever

We absolutely must protect the Empty Netters boys at. all. cost. Watching them be like “a boys trip with incredible, romantic sex thrown in? Fuck yeah, go get it boys!” is the allyship I didn’t know I wanted or needed. Holy fuck. Give these men everything.

Yuna Hollander is an elite sports sicko.

Hot Priest ✨himself✨ is watching The Gay Hockey Show.🏒 wtf are the rest of you waiting for?! Heated Rivalry, the phenomenon that you are!

Jonah knows his elf on the shelf lore. What a good boy. 🧡💙

I want to introduce Jonah to my grilled cheese recipe so badly. I actually bet it would slap with the maple syrup.

I NEED PICS OF THE TRIPLETS

Nolan McLean was one of four starting pitchers in 2025 to throw six pitches with a 100 Stuff+ or better. The other three were: Tarik Skubal Shohei Ohtani Max Fried

I hate our dumb franchise, but I also like the hell out of Polanco after watching the way he showed up for his guys and his city in the post-season. I’ll be happy to have a guy like that on the Mets.

Consider this my AIM away message: I’m in such a bitch ass mood over this poverty franchise that I am taking the rest of the day off from baseball news. If Jonah Tong is moved in that time, know that David Stearns will never see Heaven, at least if I have anything to say about it.

At this point, if Jonah Tong is involved in literally any of our off season transactions, I’m not even bothering to go to St. Lucie for spring training.

I think the solution to my current hatred of the New York Metropolitans is to get super into hockey instead. I live in Florida and love Russian culture. Why have I never done this? We have such great hockey down here.

you can’t convince me that this draw wasn’t for the state of the new york metropolitans baseball organization

And now I have Pluribus hitting at 9pm and Heated Rivalry hitting at midnight? FRIDAY SHOWS ARE FOR THE GIRLS AND THE GAYS! 💅🏻🏳️‍🌈* *and the language girlies and sci-fi freaks!

Every day this week, Homer's been right.

GOOD. MAKE HIM EXPLAIN HIMSELF.

Leonard is smart. Listen to Leonard.

my undying loyalty to francisco lindor and the sunshine canadian is the only thing holding me to this franchise right now.

Run prevention = preventing our own runs too

For those of you watching 🏒The Gay Hockey Show™️—aka Heated Rivalry—allow me to go on a neurodivergent rant about how Connor Storrie’s Russian language work is so stunningly perfect that it makes me feel like I have wasted a decade of my life. We begin with this chart and the worst/best vowel ever! 🧵