In 2026 I shall be reducing my personality by 18%.

CITY INSPECTOR INSPECTING MY APARTMENT: Hey nice Gundam model. ME (rolling eyes): Tallgeese is technically not a Gundam.

CAPTAIN AMERICA: (pregnant) Pregvengers... pregsemble!!

Tao Lin

Fixed it.

There is a fifth wave of ska, beyond that which is known to rude boys

“Jinglehorse” is such a great racial slur for a reindeer.

Whenever these guys describe women and what they assume their expectations/desires are I’m like, wow this person sounds awful I do not want to date or be friends with her.

Did you hear? Apparently next year is gonna be 1997 again.

Fucking savage

(writing grimdark fantasy) Goreface sat wetly on the docks, thinking about blood. His face was covered is some kind of shit and so was the rest of him. His dick looked like a door knocker. There were some orcs and dragons on the docks too. They also had shit on them.

Been thinking nonstop about how @goodboy.bsky.social described this as "from the far side collection"

YouTube Music: Your top song was Cry by Godley & Cream Last.FM: Your top song was Your Light by Fort Romeau Me: My top song was the chorus of angels that sing the song fantastic 🫶

lol

It is so abundantly clear in retrospect that Hundreds Of Beavers is the best movie of 2024.

I'm listening to ABBA 🫵

This home was rendered in Xavier: Renegade Angel

He's Elonposting

I somehow become even more Millennial with each passing year.

Reminds me of some of the decisions I've made in my life.

Steven Spielberg looks exactly like the boss in Smiling Friends.

JEFFRIES: I am like so wiped today. I honestly slept like shit. I can’t impeach Pete Hegseth today.

Me: Most molecules are gay [1], and demonic . This has many implications for chemicals. In conclusion petroleum, was made by angels. [1] Audible dot com - Bible (King James Version) as read by Logan Paul. professor: This is insanely good

It's World AIDS Day and I would like to strongly recommend the book And The Band Played On, one of the most powerful and maddening books I've ever read. It should also be an inspiration for anyone wondering how best to fight for queer rights today. bookshop.org/p/books/and-...

Got kicked out of the liberry again cuz a couple people complained about my therapy goose Insane Willie.

UBI is attractive to capitalists because it ensures megocorps continue to be funded without any mediation of the welfare state. They picture a world without Medicare, where they absorb most UBI payments and patients have no organizing power to make any demands.

In 2026 we're gonna start saying "anyways" again.

From the Far Side collection

The one valid "critique" of wokeness is that it did, for a time, become the go-to mode of lazy and opportunistic storytelling, similar to how you could get anything made in the early 00s if you included explosions and boobs. But that's not even a critique of wokeness, it's a critique of talent.

Hot Snakes are a Thanksgiving band.

Literally thinking of a comeback weeks later and delivering it.

In what may be my opus, I present my list of movies I consider to be, spiritually speaking, Thanksgiving movies. houseofmirrors.substack.com/p/a-guide-to...

I'm on the Cape and I saw the following fellas on my walk: - Hooded Mergansers - Buffleheads - Bohemian Waxwings (!)

This is gonna sound insanely unc but I genuinely want an Infinite Jest film.

This article pisses me off because a) you're assuming Van Halen is aware that the personnel and tech ppl are not the same and b) shut the hell up.

"Oil and water are both so powerful. What if they could come together in a perfectly diffused solution?"

Zohran Mamdani and Donald Trump make fun of racist reporter 🎤 #cheapfake

Bro what in tarnation there's a new Tobias Jesso Jr album

In Running Man Lee Pace has a knife with the word DESTINY on it and it reminded me that in college my friend Andrew had a knife that he wrote COLIN MELOY on.

I think these men might be gay

Scientists announce march of time no longer inexorable.

Little fluffy clouds

Shouts out Tina, shouts out Chris Frantz the #1 wife guy on bsky.

It's cool that when I was in High School my "most attractive woman on Earth" (Bjork) was like 35. Very progressive + ally of me.

Listening to the Exploding Hearts with my duck.

Scientists announce march of time no longer inexorable.

Beautiful picture of Portland, Maine.