Yup that’s him

It’s like mid 20s in Portland rn who’s goin to the beach with me

Firefighters have been a tough situation cus on the one hand they're hunks (good) but they're friends with the police (bad). This could put them back in the territory of beefy gentlemen of the community, where they belong.

The whole ointment community has come together to condemn dry skin.

Whew

I’m The Ointment Man!

fuck off with that Van Hagar shit broski this is a Diamond Dave household

Is there a train bot here, a bot that posts trains? I want to follow an account that posts trains but when I search 'trains' on bluesky I mostly get penises and furries.

I’m headed to New Hampshire for a ski weekend with friends but the wind chill in Portland (much warmer than the mountains) is -5. So not sure we’re gonna do more than drink 11 beers each today.

I’m a lot like this cool statue head

Will never watch another Aronofsky film and every actor in this should be kicked out of SAG.

Destroyer's Rubies has been declared the greatest album of all time for the day of Thursday, January 29, 2026.

They're nerfing Harold 9/11victim

Doing a new bit called Netflixing where I constantly remind my friends what we’re currently doing and what we plan to do next.

They're calling it "The Luka Trade of Politics"

[breathing heavily] HI IS THIS STILL AVAILABLE

Yo! I’m fuckin STUPID!

"If you interfere with ICE, we guarantee you will drink for free next time you go out. Women will recognize you and approach you. You will be celebrated at your place of work."

Thomas Jefferson @‘ing a historian about his half-black children

Really vital to process that all republicans under 40 are Nazis, and they fundamentally reject all concepts of bravery, loyalty, and even love. Its pure nihilistic death worship driven by spite and jealousy.

"Told you I wuz hardcore." - David Foster Wallace going off his meds

There is a weird man who lives on the other side of the moon and he is going to shoot down the space ship.

Jon Bois.jpg

Stephen A: Now Skip you know I don't want anyone to die. Skip Bayless: Of course Stephen A: BUT-

Hey, Bari Weiss? Turn off the dark...

Wayne’s World 1 & 2

@newscentermaine.bsky.social there was no violence. The article does not mention any violence. This is a wildly irresponsible and inaccurate post and you must take it down.

When you suggest that Elon Musk is gay you are suggesting he is infinitely cooler than he actually is.

This is the plot of Common Side Effects

here we go

The Name of The Rose: The Animated Series

really spiraling today. i hate fucking nazis.

Deni Avdija situation is difficult. He may not find it fair that I take a sledgehammer to his nuts every single day, but if he understood the complex history of the region - both recent and ancient - I think he would appreciate the nuances and challenges that lead to me demolishing his tiny dick.

I literally need to party with the Solar Bear

2026 is the year I get into horse thievery.

Imagine any audience even politely clapping like this to "ICE needs body cameras and better training"

sometimes i have dreams & while half awake after im like "that was beautiful...i should write it as a short story" then i fully wake up later and realize that the dream in question was me claiming i could hit any baseball and then whiffing 5 times in a row before declaring i had "lost my powers"

Am I not chortley enough for the chortle club

I am considering irrigating my apartment.

Every few years I go through "a jazz phase" that last just long enough until I remember that like 75% of jazz is actively hostile to human ears.

Comic book called Ultimate Jesus Christ

hey hey hey whatchugotta say

Exploding head syndrome (EHS) is a rare disruptive sleep-related disorder in which a person's head fucking explodes

He does this every Whiskey Friday.