adding truck nuts to my dining chairs

nothing beats a drunk trip to a public restroom

imagine being named facism

i love shipping packages i love shipping packages i love shipping packages i love shipping packages i love shipping packages i love shipping packages i love shipping packages i love shipping packages i love shipping packages i love shipping packages i love shipping packages i love shipping packages

the more you gnow

the worm of sin fills my apple

I cast curse of literacy

downloading so much porn that Minecraft fails to launch

we shittin vicious

We smokin' dung beetle

I've been strictly walking from place to place ever since gas hit two dollars a gallon

a plumber working and supervisor says "ya know you really need to put more tongue in it"

working retail and manager asks "ya know you need to put more tongue into it"

the word ‘quadratic’ appears in my head quite often.... perhabs i am a Genius

Something Interesting Simulator

"I've got a pretty fucked up sense of humor" - guy who has a completely normal sense of humor for an adult human

ctrl + f "dorf"

it's Degloving Friday everyone get your wedding rings on and your hands dangerously close to the machines

what would elijah wood do

we out here capitalismmaxxing

new genre of schozoposting: leaving an ai model to drive itself insane while tweeting the entire process

Hey y'all it's Mitch. Sorry to dip out for a minute, my wife gave me such a volcanic O I practically came my guts out. I've been on mandatory bedrest in a weeks long refractory period, but now I'm back and ready to keep spraying. We work hard play hard, and I specifically mean pork in hole style.

they call me the expanding hispanic

today we are all white women

everyone turns into a restaurant when they die

since I was a young child I always knew what I was destined to do: be an HOA president

gimp fried rice

if you'll excuse me gentlemen I have a shit that needs taking

this one's for the skinks

A lot of people talking about sand these days

cooking out #cook #out

I would fuck Bill Nye the Science Guy

grilling for capitalism

I'm restmaxxing rn

spine me bro

imagine what it would feel like to be a burger being constructed

ok google update the simulation

stocking up on frozen hamburger patties to hand out for halloween

for god so loved my pussy

bro that was totally prominent bro

theres some 114 year old lady out there who has pissed more than any other living human

they should update ai so it can shoot you in the head

Sauce gets a bad rap because it’s not filling

when you die they show you how colors looked to everyone else

they call me crab fucker but it's like an ironic nickname because I'm the only person in my social circle who hasn't fucked a crab

raw potatoes, a famous midwestern american dish,

4,000 years ago. Abraham wrestled Bigfoot

who the fuck closes their business at two p m