I woke up at 7:40 and thought, "Nah," and I have just now gotten out of bed. God, I love having a week off from work.

My journey in has been a nightmare. So in protest i am going to stand outside in the cold rain until I'm ready to work. See you in 6 hours.

At least I think we can now all understand why rich tech freaks are so impressed with an artificial intelligence that can write coherent emails.

Frankly, if the argument is "the government needs to stay on twitter despite the csam because that's where most people will see them" then they may as well set up an official pornhub channel.

Gentle reminder that EVERYONE shot by ICE or the police is innocent. Every single one. Cops aren't Judge Dredd. A person is innocent until proven guilty IN A COURT, so until a person is found guilty by a judge or jury, they're innocent. They're ALL innocent.

Mandatory in office days 29th, 30th and 2nd. Laughing at them.

I hope you're all having a grand time.

The Crystal Lake Food Pantry is a critical lifeline for thousands of vulnerable Illinoisans. As the Trump administration threatens cuts to essential programs like SNAP, my administration is committed to protecting resources for our communities.

🎶In the Ocean, Atlantic Ocean....🎶

this whole halligan saga has been a fucking hilarious and i'm reminded of this comic.

“Quiet, Piggy” would be fitting for his tombstone.

Trying to explain to eork people where I know @ewanewa.bsky.social from resulted in explaining the cult. Many thank yous to @paperghost.bsky.social for easily having enough memes to show Im not crazy.... Or at least alone in that crazy.

Weekend of being the cool aunt before spending my Sunday traveling to Jersey for a 4 day work trip. I am exhausted already.

also known as the home office business model

Don't worry lady on facebook, we're all aware I have ADHD.

If you have a mushroom sauce for your steak and run out of steak is it then just a slightly thicker mushroom soup?

I don't read the news much anymore, because I am desperately clinging to the last scraps of sanity I have left.

got referred to physio for my knee. Its an app and video call? Not sure how great thats gonna work. But more importantly whilst signing up I said I was 250kg and now they are expecting a 550lb person. So thats fun.

I've lived here nearly 16 years. Tomorrow the first family members are visiting for 3 weeks. Can not wait to see my Dad.

HNGGGRRRRHHHNNNNNN

He finally figured out where it was located.

Work had a supply chain team sports day that was mandatory if you were in the office. So i drank for free and now will be 2 days behind on work. Fuck yeah mandatory work events.

So... A/S/L?

Just made a joke to the pharmacist about guns and then stated they say the immigrants are going to bleed the NHS dey so challenge accepted... Anyway, don't have 4 tinnies at a work sports day and pick up your meds.

3 doctors appointments in 2 days. Properly bleeding the NHS dry.

A new one: woman wearing earpods and yet her tictok is still playing from her phone. So close.

Wore a dress. Shaved my legs for jesus. Bug crawls on me. Never again.

Raining in London. Never thought I'd consider it a rare occurance, yet here we are.

I have strained my calf by existing in a chair and barely moving for 5 days. 39 is rough.

I was given this nickname like 7 years ago and I've made it my core personality.

Why the fuck is boots so insanely busy today

Not now, Boomerang, come back to my feed later.

Ok worth the trip

This is super-important, so have a little alt text:

We are going into London. By choice. He spent too much on Hamilton tickets to just stay home. Pray for us.

Happy birthday to my birthday twin @jawoodle.bsky.social He has Dee-Dee the Drone, I have Dwayne the Bot Johnson.

Was just looking at the "Life In The UK" test and imagine experiencing the last decade and then being expected to answer this seriously.

I like Walz. I like his midwest daditude. But bffr "Humility" is not an American strong point.

Oh good news guys, the corpse baby was born under 2lbs. It can die in nicu now that a corpse has been forced to incubate a baby that is likely to die. Two thumbs way up, America. www.bbc.com/news/article...

On this father's day lets remember the greatest father of all time, Uncle Phil. www.youtube.com/watch?v=gMNs...

He might not always be the father of the year, but as the years go on I understand him more as I slowly morph into this cranky mother fucker (literally). Happy father's day to the man who should have asked for a blowjob, but we're both just doing our best-ish 39 years later.

has that dude had his little birthday boy tank man parade yet? it’s hard to tell because the only thing the news is showing right now is how much people around the country hate him

Something unique breaks inside you when you struggle to put a bandaid on and after are panting and heartrate is over 100bpm. Didn't even get the fucker on the wound. Sticky parts on it. Just said fuck it

"You did one of the hardest quests the game has to offer and as a reward here is... *checks notes*.... One Antibiotic."