Hanging themselves would cheer them up. And by them I mean me.

Just fucking stop being cunts

Most people are unaware that in computer terms, SSD does not in fact mean Solid State Drive but is actually Stevie Wonder stating he’s yours, Signed sealed and delivered.

I have unfortunately just seen a video clip of David Bentley dancing like the fucking attention seeking cunt he is at the Tottenham stadium. In the video he appears to be wearing the same coat that I do. I’m going to burn it now

Up is down, down is up.

Golazzzoooooo

He’s a shit house, he's mighty-mighty, just lettin' it all hang out.

How is he that bald? There’s at least three different types of baldness occurring on his head at once.

Pep walks by the weekend. I can feel it in my tits.

Look, I’m ok with the US taking over the Uk if it means the return of £20 1/8ths.

Golden Balls

Oh well nevermind.

Edu looking like Everybody loves Raymond’s brother.

Vicario with bigger flaps than your mum

Just been reading about Ethel Merman & her one month marriage to Ernest Borgnine. I think I would have liked her.

ICE agents slipping on ice.

I saw it in my head and now you get to see it too

Liam Rosenior flushes his colon with Huel for extra efficiency.

Everybody thinks 'https://' stands for 'hypertext transfer protocol secure' but it actually stands for 'head to this place, sucka' followed by a colon and two laser sounds

“Hold on to the world as it spins around, just don’t let the spin get you down” ✌🏼❤️ - fuck the fascists youtu.be/cv1B0ejhFVE?...

Happy birthday @n5n7badges.com me love you long time

Szoboszlol

Fuck off

Doing my best RnB singer impression to this because it’s the law. youtu.be/3SoYkCAzMBk?...

I'm just really glad that Ferguson is still around to see this.

Did I stutter?

Noni lean?

That’s a good start.

This is precisely what we want to see

Thomas Fronk

I ate three slices of space cake from coffeeshop 36 and watched Good Will Hunting at the Lea Valley Odeon, at some point I worked out the meaning of existence and wrote it out in a calculation, I reached enlightenment before blinking and forgetting it all. Was gutted for days.

Storm Goreti

David Coote given a suspended sentence for making indecent images of a child, Twitter ai making child nazi porn, fully expecting the protect our girls brigade to stay silent and pick a fight with a woman instead.

Is that Thomas image real? I have no idea what is anymore, maybe none of you are real, maybe it’s me? Fuck.

Brighton about to get absolutely fucking mashed by city tonight.

Telling isn't it that all the "protect our girls" people are still on X despite what Grok is doing.

I Carry A Torch For You*

It’s fucking snowing

I would personally like to take this opportunity to say fuck man united. Fuck em.

FUCK CHELSEA, CHELSEA SHIT.

I’ve always respected Chelsea football club. Always said it.

You can’t spell Bentancur without ‘cunt’. And that is a fact.

Chelsea are a massive bunch of fucking cunts, expect them to give city a reach around instead of a match.

Not one to overreact normally but I’ve just sent the commentary teams home coordinates to the us military and told them it’s a Venezuelan base of narco terrorists.

That wasn’t very king of Brazil, but that was.

Endless fun

Can we talk about stranger things yet?