Iconic Photo

Just saying

The love of my life in 1994, at Reading Festival… Aaaah! Back when we were young and foolish…

Maybe this time they’ll get the message Another morning, another half dozen reform leaflets posted through my letterbox 🙄

I used to think I didn't have executive dysfunction. I've come to realize my executive function is like a 1980s lawnmower. It doesn't want to start. It shouldn't be able to start. But I know the strange complex process to get it started and can reliably do so when needed pretty much every time.

Jumped-up-fucking-spellcheck

Default autocomplete suggestions make writing feel as if one is trying to walk hip deep through mud. Why would I want to complete my sentences in the most statistically likely way? If that were the case, what use would there be for me writing it in the first place?

Some paintings have little details which everyone loves—and the detail I love is from a painting which has a “detail” (they’re probably too big to be called that) that everyone adores… BUT rather than the little grumpy putti I love the curtain rail… Anyone else got a favourite?

Wow, Plus ça change, plus c'est la même chose…

Quand tu passes un peu vite sur le ralentisseur

10th April Lovely day, saw friends at a morning coffee session which was just 🫂🫂🫂

brb changing my linkedin to "writer of vocal gymnasiums" @benwillbond.bsky.social

Karen Hoyland, 35, who believes both vaccines and having friends cause autism, actively encourages her six-year-old son Finley to get potentially deadly measles for reasons too stupid to print.

Oh boy! What a headline... Ask yourself: "What am I being asked to believe?" "Who am I being told to blame?" Take a few seconds to imagine what the Daily Mail (And Telegraph, GB News and Express) WANT you to think is going on. Let's see what's ACTUALLY happening...🧵 1/21

No, you do not reheat leftover pizza, what kind of savage are you. You eat it cold out of the fridge as God Herself intended.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH

Today we will be mainly posting pictures of artefacts that look like sweets. 🍬🍫

Beholde thys unit moost absolute.

Velvet worms shoot rapid-hardening glue at their prey (other invertebrates). Within seconds, the sprayed liquid hardens to plastic-like consistency, trapping or slowing the target. This marvelous glue has possible human applications in recyclable bioplastics & surgical sutures that dissolve.

My youngest was 16 this week. My eldest decided, for no reason, that we were going to recreate the pirate themed party we threw when my youngest was 4, right down to the food 😂 And tell everyone *except* my youngest that it was a pirate party.

me when someone cites the deep magic to me even though I was there when it was written: holy shit, for real? I don't remember that part at all

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH

If anyone needs to catch up about exactly why everyone's making jokes about the history of the papacy...

like many things that should go without saying to Trump admin officials but don't because they've never read a book in their lives: there is no infrastructure for "Avignon II: Electric Boogaloo" any powerful conservative Catholic clergy who might share their beliefs want their official status more

AAAAAHHH

Reminder that in this house we do not trash other genres of books to support the genre we like the most. One, come on, we're grown ups. Two, the bottom line is people reading and loving books. Three, every writer you know has friends working other genres, don't trash their friends, thanks.

That’s Smee in the corner

Mother is cruel, mother discards her bag and hat without thought—mother cares not that poor Tinker-belle is left perched on the edge of chair… Jail for mother

No, because AI generated shows would suck.

Hall of fame FT correction

Kinda amusing the way Truth Social adverts means than when I check to see the latest horrors I get Starmer “live slug“ reactions thrown in…

Tumblr is Tom Bombadil, there's some weird shit going on in the woods and we don't really want to talk about it

Social media apps as Lord of the Rings characters, a thread: Twitter: Twitter is Gollum. Began as a normal halfling. Overexposure to evil left it thin and stretched and bitter.

9th April 2026 Not as warm and sunny today…bonus skull decoration because I love it!

Look upon my 1970 first edition and despair.

Happy 8th anniversary to the tweet that changed us forever. Look at this absolute unit.

I feel seen…

And then he insults Greenland “THAT BIG, POORLY RUN, PIECE OF ICE!!!”—so he is insulting the Greenland government? And the Danish government too? Who, I will reiterate, are part of NATO! Also, why is he so interested in a piece of ice? What’s it to him? Make this make sense? 5/5

So, yeah—I remember Greenland That country the USA threatened and who falls under the protection of NATO: basically the rest of NATO would defend Greenland against the USA if pinch came to shove? So—is this what Trump means? Because I am frankly fucking CONFUSED HERE 4/

Okay, so someone explain this to me like I’m a child: Trump says NATO wasn’t there when “we”, I suppose the USA, needed them? When does this refer to? He recently seemed to claim he didn’t need NATO’s help? So when did he need NATO? 1/

I feel such sympathy across the years for Newton for this… I mean who hasn’t figured out gravity and shit like that, gone “Yeah, that figures…” and then moved on to more important stuff…

When I started writing this book set against the context of the 14th century Avignon papacy and the futility and hypocrisy of wars against Islam in the Middle East in the name of Christendom, it wasn't supposed to be a cutting allegory of modern times FFS.

Went out for lunch! Photos showing my hat, me, a pretty tree and my spouse out in the lovely sunshine…

Dolphins and stuff too, but a lot of recalled products.

Lot of recalled products down there.

Follow us for more window facts. It's Window Safety Week.

It’s a common misconception that life expectancy has increased only because fewer children die. Historical mortality records show that adults today also live much longer than adults in the past.

You have to ask the publisher.

I have to say that my older child’s delight that Judge Dredd is canonically mixed race is a joy! Eartha Fargo is genetically Judge Dredd’s granny Who, you ask, is Eartha Fargo? This is Eartha Fargo:

Things that help calm the nervous system, quickly: - Box breathing (in for 4, hold for 4, out for 4, hold for 4, repeat) - Immerse your face in cold water (activates mammalian dive reflex) - Humming (stimulates vagus nerve) - Exercise (anything helps, outside even better) - Impeachment and removal