just talked to infinighost new music soon

watching Big 10 football in november fills my soul with a nice warmth

i love how every app has a settings menu with a "notifications" option and when you click it, it's like "psych! jk dickhead! we can't do that here! idk, try your phone settings or something, asshole"

i love how map apps are like would you like to get to your destination in 32 minutes? or 50 you degenerate sack of shit?

just walked into a business whose sign said "Tacos! Tacos! Tacos!" guess what they DON'T serve there.

los angeles should look into getting one of those "mayors"

bracing myself for the deluge of articles like: "Will Democrats Learn From Mamdani's Decisive Victory? No, Fuck No, But Let's Imagine If They Did for 2,000 Words"

apple watch: you got a sleep score of 98! good job! bro i was hammered

javier milei looks like all members of The Mars Volta combined

performatively sipping from my empty coffee so the barista doesn't kick me out

not my home but i know my way around

i would [redacted] myself

i never liked breakfast burritos until like a year ago what the hell was wrong with me

i love this stadium ASMR thing they're trying for Penn State vs Iowa

you can just tell pete hegseth was never a fun drunk

i don't miss any of the slurs that used to be commonplace in the 90's/00's... but the one thing i do miss is melodramatically threatening to kill yourself over the smallest thing. "uggh they're out of ranch, i'm gonna fucking kill myself" was always fun imo. i mean, i get it.

mfw i look back at my friends as the bouncers drag my ass out of the bar

mfw i look back at my friends as the bouncers drag my ass out of the bar

i've never owned an xbox and at this rate, i never will

the triangle. name a more iconic three sided shape

wow, James Franklin fired. I liked him but yeah, long overdue

i'm teaching my nephew guitar over Zoom and it's actually insane how much better he gets from week to week. it blows my mind and fills my heart. he is absolutely eating up "Seven Nation Army"

Silksong? pssh, i'm all about that Silk Thong (which is where i play Hollow Knight while wearing a silk thong and get permanently banned from twitch)

give me all the sauerkraut. give me so much that my stomach becomes confused and rebels against me.

eh, the world truly does not need my thoughts on taylor swift. And i'm glad for anyone enjoying music actually written by the artist! Have fun.

i offer a $100,000 reward to anyone who can prove that taylor swift has met a real showgirl at least once in her life

taylor swift probably not gonna make another good album until her middle aged "blood on the tracks" album right?

nextdoor is infinitely more upsetting than /b/

every small american town in the early 20th century: i think we finally need a bank here architect: you know the Parthenon? i'm gonna make that shit look lame

a young, hot, midwest emo singer in a band: ohhh i'm so sad :-( jim e. brown: hold my (13th) beer.

a young, hot, midwest emo singer in a band: ohhh i'm so sad :-( jim e. brown: hold my (13th) beer.

i thought that was the whole point of the site

nothing grinds my enjoyment of an RPG to a halt like making me learn recipes and cycle through inventory to cook things

i can't throw that cable tie away, i might need it in 40 years

the average boomer is more addicted to facebook and chatgpt than i've ever been addicted to anything in my life

The Piper at the Gates of Dawn had to sound downright satanic when it came out (it's time for my quarterly relisten of Pink Floyd's discography)

If you ever listen to even one AI-generated podcast on purpose, you are a Human Pug. You mouth breathe audibly, tongue hanging out, you smell kinda like pooh, and everyone finds you off-putting. Just nothing behind the eyes as you listen to robots talk about Wokeness or fucking whatever.

i definitely see myself as more of a lin-manuel charlotte

that's it. i'm officially boycotting Rolex.

yo dawg, you wanna see that movie? i got two tickets. seats h8 and h9. we can sit and both cross our legs on our knees so the bottoms of our feet face each other. and then if the palms of our feet touch, it will open a portal to the next dimensi

new word proposal: "phriends" definition: [noun] people you sometimes think are your friends but are actually just podcasters you listen to too much. eg in a sentence: Oh yeah, i was just talking about that with my phriends robert evans and sophie.

mew: mew mewtwo: you’re right mew, the world IS fucked

I get compliments on my @lataco.bsky.social hat every time I wear it outside, to the point that if i'm feeling particularly introverted i gotta choose a different one

congrats to Travis Kelce after announcing his engagement to heiress of the Swift trucking corporation.

if your band breaks up, you should have to wait a minimum of 10 years before reuniting

My newest act is called Andrew Dice Claypool. We perform dirty nursery rhymes over primus cover songs. We've sold zero tickets

youtube ads reaching new levels of psychotic