You can pry my negative self talk out of my dumb bitch hands

Booksmaxxing (checked out one book from the library)

I have walked by many Adirondack chairs in my life but I have never seen someone actually sit in one

Every Instagram post is like "no one tells you that getting a haircut makes you look different afterward"

Boomers will straight up text you “I don’t have your number”

I’m no Biden apologist but one thing I do miss is when his dog wouldn’t stop biting everyone

a week ago, i released new original music for the first time in years. i like these two tracks quite a bit. check em out ampl.ink/k8pe3 and here's to more new music in 2026 🍻

Remember how the Dos Equis most interesting man in the world was literally just some guy

ok but this time if we throw the imperial boomerang REALLY hard

Every day I drive around pretending I could explain how eco mode works if pressed

Birds should know when I’ve already logged their species in Merlin and get the hell out of my way

They should bring back that Panera lemonade that kills you

wanna get out ahead of this: the "JD" in JD Vance does not stand for John Danek

Ran out of raspberries. Another day in hell

Buying one of those “I bought this before Elon went crazy” stickers for my 2012 Camry

My pal @allegrawow.bsky.social lost her mom this week and her family could use a bit of a hand. Please consider donating and/or spreading the word! www.gofundme.com/f/tvvbn9-sup...

Have not heard from Moo Deng in a while. Assuming the worst about her politics

An LA organizer I trust shared this General Resource Spreadsheet with me. It includes nonofficial shelters and other resources for people affected by the LA fires.

I have no recollection of how I ended any written exchange before the 🫡 emoji came along

More stuff besides software should be open source. Men would like that

The Cherry Respecting Daddies