I’m revisiting Arlington Road and thinking about how we’ve spent years listening to conservatives screech about how you can’t make good movies anymore because of woke but a major movie studio would never make this in the current political climate because it’s about right wing extremism.

a heartwarming story of how being an unethical and talentless hack is no barrier to success when you are willing to endlessly flatter the wretched views of rich dipshits

Happy fifth anniversary of one of the funniest days on the internet. Remember how how good it felt when there was a realistic chance he was going to die? edition.cnn.com/interactive/...

As an extremely online horror movie fan, October means it’s time for me to make smarmy comments about those 31 day horror movie challenges like “oh a month of horror movies? That’s cute but that’s every day of the year for me.”

If I were the Ghostbusters I would have handled the Slimer situation by following the tenets of restorative justice

Now watching because I love a giant gator movie.

Me every time I see anything Nick Cave has to say nowadays.

Spooky Season? Sorry but in this house it’s Rocktober.

It rules that Trump made hundreds of high ranking military officers fly in from all over the world to sit in a room and listen to him ramble aimlessly.

Excited to learn my years of experience in editorial and digital marketing roles might qualify me to be a human spellchecker for an AI diarrhea machine.

Generative AI is really gunning for Facebook’s crown as the worst invention of the 21st century.

Under my administration we captured 3 gray aliens and 2 green

I have never wanted to read a book more in my life.

generals gathered in their masses/president calls them all fatasses

Look at the openers Europe gets for The Cure and we get The Twilight Sad every time they tour the states.

Once again, a functional opposition party would be getting in front of every microphone and tv camera right now and talking about how they’re going to send the entire Trump administration - and everyone who colluded with him down to $60K a year ICE agents and pimply DOGE nerds - to prison.

As a long time fan of disrespecting the troops this speech is really doing it for me.

It rules that all these high powered career military guys have to take orders from a drunk idiot who was hosting a weekend Fox News show a year ago.

Here's why bands use Gildan instead of Hanes. The number of people at your show who won't pay $40 for a band shirt just because it's printed on a slightly more comfortable Hanes blank is higher than the number of people who won't pay $30 for a band shirt because it's printed on a Gildan blank.

HUM IS BACK HUM IS BACK HUM IS BACK

Let me introduce you to racist white people and Let Metallica Play The Super Bowl guys.

If you’re a cis person who considers themselves a trans ally and you’ve got Democrat Congressional reps and senators then you better call them right this fucking minute and tell them they’re losing your vote if they buckle on this. If you can’t even do that then you should be ashamed of yourself.

What I’m nostalgic for is a time when grown men didn’t get weepy over videos about watching cartoons and going to Toys R Us. This shit is so embarrassing.

First time this guy has ever made me laugh

Lotta bad stuff happening in the world so here’s a Bowie to cleanse your timeline.

The videos from this comedy fest popping up on TikTok and IG are great.

Fare thee well my weird king

It’s very exciting having a president that’s essentially Joaquin Phoenix in the third act of Eddington.

I always admired Kaleb Horton's writing so much and am terribly sorry to hear of his death. It's a long list of singular writers who didn't have the careers they should have because of the people, places, and things that killed online media, but his name is right at the very top. I hate all of it.

RIP Kaleb Horton. A generationally talented writer who’s gone way too soon. Reading his work was always a treat because it felt alive and wasn’t poisoned by irony and cynicism.

I’m watching Night of the Reaper and I’m begging horror movie writers to stop setting scripts in the 1980s. It’s been 40 years!

Or just Observe and Report in real life

Hhhhhnnnnngggg

Fools and haters will doubt me but the new Soulfly album that comes out next month is great. It's like a fully realized synthesis of every band Max Cavalera has ever been in. www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jifs...

There’s virtually nothing a regular person can do to fight right wing authoritarianism at the government level, but you CAN pour an entire venti iced caramel macchiato over a maga hog’s head if you see them harassing retail employees like this.

My conspiracy theory is that the violent people on the right were hired by ICE this year and that's why their recorded criminal violence has dropped.

I understand why some people would be uncomfortable relishing the death of another human being even if they’re objectively evil but that is not me.

Screaming “SAY HELLO TO MY LITTLE FRIEND” at the cartel assassins who’re invading my mansion to kill me but I’m talking about this ding-dong so they’re all like “Aaawwwww ¡Hola perrito!” and allow me to live.

Dave Matthews has the opportunity to do the funniest thing.

One thing Democrats should learn from Republicans is how to be relentlessly mean. Every liberal talking head and late night host should be on TV talking about how Trump is too stupid to understand how stairs work.

Going back in time to tell high school Shayne that, while this won’t make any sense now, one day you will get paid to make important internet companies listen to loud rock music.

I’m going to miss this guy so much

Good news everyone! The stupidest people on the planet have figured out autism! www.theguardian.com/us-news/2025...

I initially thought Republicans were going to move on from Kirk’s assassination after it became clear the shooter wasn’t politically left in any meaningful way. But I failed to consider that he was one of them (rotten piece of shit) and not a 10-year-old sitting in a classroom.

This is exactly backwards. From the beginning, Kirk was the beneficiary of a large and highly organized network of dark money donors who were looking for a spokesman. No way he would have done what he did without patrons like Montgomery and Uihlein. Kirk didn't make money - money made Kirk.

America’s Nazi government is currently doing a better job wrecking the Illinois Nazi metal fest than any antifa group could.