The “prosecute the former regime at every level” candidate has my vote in 2028.

You might think I’m joking, but this is what 3D looked like before James Cameron

If Super Mario World was so good why didn’t it win any Game Awards?

If Super Mario World was so good why didn’t it win any Game Awards?

First NFL team to go rogue and start using iPads on the sideline instead of Microsoft tablets gonna be unstoppable

If you start watching Alexander Payne’s Sideways tonight at 7:54 PM, you can finish the film and be in bed at a decent hour. Happy New Year!!

Had a blast writing up some all-timers for this, including an RE4 journal style entry I’m particularly proud of. Read the article to see its grisly end!!

2024 was crazy. I slept all fucking year. Wait. What??

The people are nostalgic for Quibi. They yearn for Quick Bites while they wait in line for coffee. They’re so fucking bored on the commute to work they’re thinking of ending it all

One dog goes one way and the other dog goes the other way. And Pikachu’s saying, “Whaddya want from me?”

I don’t care how much you want to pay me, I will never do this.

“Ruffalo… The Ruff Ryder… Makin’ movies… Appealing to the public!”

“Ruffalo… The Ruff Ryder… Makin’ movies… Appealing to the public!”

Director Zach Cregger used a bold play in a meeting with Warner Bros. execs in order to get the prequel to his film, Weapons, greenlit. paletteswap.site/dif...

Look I’m glad you’re enjoying the movie but you don’t have to keep bugging the whole neighborhood

Look I’m glad you’re enjoying the movie but you don’t have to keep bugging the whole neighborhood

Remember, any movie is a Christmas movie if you watch it on your phone in the garage while everyone else celebrates inside

Ready Player One (2018)

Wrote this up for Palette Swap!

Remember, any movie is a Christmas movie if you watch it on your phone in the garage while everyone else celebrates inside

Bari Weiss has canceled tonight's weather forecast until we hear from the "principles" (the man trying to block out the sun)

Just heard from my guy down at the blowjob factory. They're trying to unionize, but they're too busy giving blowjobs all the time to organize properly :(

Generative AI placeholders could never come up with something like this unhinged banger that never got changed in N64's California Speed

PowerWash Simulator 2 DLC ‘Pulp Fiction Pack’ announced

Swen Vincke of Larian Studios responded to backlash for using AI with a promise to rewind time to before anyone knew about that. paletteswap.site/dif...

Generative AI placeholders could never come up with something like this unhinged banger that never got changed in N64's California Speed

I admit I used SOME generative AI in my latest video "What If Batman Had A Boner All The Time?" but it was merely for placeholder assets. Everything in the finished product was made by an artist.

The AI bubble is different than the dot com bubble because everybody thought websites were cool

I don't know how you get the job writing funny stuff on the little hot sauces at Taco Bell, but I bet it involves a submission packet

Happy 5th anniversary (birthday?) to Cyberpunk 2077! I’ve been hooked since launch (no, seriously). Felt compelled to reshare this piece wrote a few months ago, for the good folks at @paletteswap.site. I love it so much, even though it hurts me. paletteswap.site/true-colors/...

Doing my best stuff on tik tok lately, if ya care www.tiktok.com/t/ZTrQgRFXP/

"I simply can't imagine going through life without Cheez-Its" -The Owner of Cheez-Its

"I simply can't imagine going through life without Cheez-Its" -The Owner of Cheez-Its

Why did they serve a dead man 33 drinks?

Latest for Palette Swap!

USING MY PHONE: Fuck this thing. Fucking thing is sapping my brain. I hate this thing. LOST MY PHONE SOMEWHERE IN THE HOUSE: Fuck. I'm so fucked. I might as well die.

playing Power Wash Simulator 2

Dwayne “The John” Rockson

Everyone made fun of me a few years ago when I said “they should spend billions of dollars to make Google worse.” Well look at us now.

Pleasantville (1998)

Google has fallen

Google has fallen

Waited all night in the Best Buy parking lot to score a 32 inch flatscreen when they opened. Turns out I’m the only guy still doing that.

Bill invented Chug Juice confirmed