the outhouse is not a good place to be on a day like today

idk how my mia puts up with me lmao

(gen z wiggles) lowkey though fruit salad deadass yummy yummy fr

obsessed with my friends grandparents dynamic: gramma is german and I could count on one hand how many times I've seen her smile, papa is hard of hearing and the goofiest guy the sitcom writes itself

Some Sunday Black Boy Joy

a t-shirt that reads "I'm probably not hitting on you, I'm just socially awkward and love to compliment"

I like coyotes that's my dog, dawg

I'm not the best with children, but I've been practicing autism awareness since I was 14, so I understand that style of communication & it's really coming in handy now lol

new thing I've been doing when I say bye to the boy is asking "hug or no hug?" it's way better than asking "can I have a hug?" Or even "I'm leaving do you want a hug?" he responds a lot faster than when I used to ask if he wanted a hug. I think presenting the no as a choice reduces social pressure

dating a writer is cool cuz they're contractually obligated to edit everything you write homework? that's my private tutor work work? that's my first line of defense against hr a thank you letter? you can guarantee no one has ever felt more thanked

leaning heavily into queer fantasy for my fiction piece for creative writing

writing women is so easy when you are a woman and also love women

I would be so good at being an animal cuz I already feel a deep urge to rub my BO on everything I own

why do they call it ten top 10 hot 100 when you cold in the hot 10 cold 10 take out one hundred heat the 100

want to buy some warm weather clothes/swimwear for my vacation. I found a site that has good stuff in inclusive sizes but they only have 3 models & everything I like is modeled by a woman who's STACKED. she's easily 3-5 cup sizes bigger than me & has a slim waist praying the clothes look ok on me💀

my brain misread this as "electric guitars"

oh yeah you're talking about the ol' Pudding Whip maneuver. that's when the government loses a confidence vote and no human MP can command a majority. a member in good standing who owns a hyundai can then proclaim that parliament has been “lightly pudded.” at that point, a cat becomes PM.

This is what they're doing on Threads. Whatever you want to say about bluesky, understand that Threads will always be on a different level of crazy

my poor little baby got stung on her nose 😭😭😭

omg less than 8wks until I am on a boat watching a total solar eclipse on my FUCKING BIRTHDAY 😭😭😭

I thought things were serious when my partner added me to their Costco membership.... but now they're going to take me to my colonoscopy so we've reached a whole new level

Q: if you accidentally say a pun when you're speaking and someone points it out do you: a) pretend like you did it on purpose or b) admit that you were not actually that clever in the moment or c) some combination of both ?

the gen x woman at the coffee hut just said "this sounds like little Wayne!"

I've been reading elan.school the last few days and it is completely impossible to grasp the weight of what happened there... some people are so evil it's beyond my comprehension...

Might be the greatest four panels in comic history

I think it's best to completely avoid anyone with any politician's name in their bio fuck outta here

Leah Wilson rescued an injured crow and keeps receiving gifts from other crows.

just thought about how my cat will most likely die eventually & retracted all my statements about wanting a kitten.... just let me have Tal forever

we lack the time and resources that they have

when I was in Canada somewhere between 2009 & 2011, my family went to a production of Rent with a set that looked nearly identical to that scaffolding

date a writer: you can tell them the most unhinged things you've done in your life and they're like "omg this is amazing content"

got my first pedicure on Saturday and I got a very bright pink polish that looks like PPE on my super white feet

Gay dog comic.

a child was actually able to break down my rough exterior and find a way into my heart....

my poor father... he made the mistake of being a chef and a father... now he has a constant stream of children asking "does this meat smell ok?" "how much of this will I need?" "What do I do if my [whatever] doesn't turn out right??"

I know I should be doing my writing homework... but in my defense.... I'd rather drink vodka.....

y'all ever think about how damn cute I am??? well here's my birthday dress!!! I do need to steam it, but I'm overjoyed with this!!!!

when I hang out with my bestie who is equally an enabler it gets soooo expensive

the first, and only, video game I've ever completed is Pokemon Snap on N64

I have gen z and gen x friends who try to say "our age" when telling me about someone and I'm like uhhh you're 10yrs younger or 20yrs older than me and both of those ratios don't fall into what I call "my age" I will accept anyone 30 to 40 years old as "my age"

trying to figure out a gift for my partner and just thought "what does R like... besides me...."

Leo: When you stare into the abyss, the abyss acts like it hasn't noticed you but it obviously has, there was eye contact, so you're like, Seriously?, and resolve to stare until the abyss acknowledges you, but then it pretends to get a text and just fucking LEAVES? What the fuck?

loving my partner is so upsetting... because no one wants to hear me talk about them anymore :/

do u ever compare your nipples to #2 pencil erasers ?

Happy Pride! Follow this account, and repost this to enter a draw to win this wallet! Open worldwide, I'll ship it anywhere. I'll pick a winner at random on Saturday night, June 13, 2026 This wallet is 100% handmade with premium veg tan leather 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️ Love and respect to the 2SLGBTQI+ community!

born to :3 react. forced to 👍 react. abolish all jobs.

I love living in the woods and walking around the property naked... all these folks bought up land after I was already living here, so if it bothers them, they either shouldn't have cut all those trees down or they should put up a fence. I might not own this land, but I *was* here first

I need to buy a new weed

idk if I'm ready for this level of Posting on b***sky...