Man goes to the doctors, convinced he's a duck. Doctor says, I know what the problem is... You're quackers

Finished to read "The Thirteenth Prince" by @joelgloverauthor.bsky.social I liked this #fantasybook (no wizards or dragons) where the great weapon of the main character is his intelligence.Great characters for this political fantasy with some humour #booksky #fantasypolitics #writingcommunity #books

just choked on my beverage

The nice thing about working in law enforcement is that you get to pick and choose what laws you’re into

Did you hear about the farmer who planted his brassicas in a pair of parallel lines? It was a dual cabbageway

Bring this back

My child has declared this Elephant Bird Awareness Day and wants me to tell some people. Were you aware of elephant birds? You are now.

Once again: what were their fingers doing on or in these women's mouths to start with?

Pausing the jokes for a periodic reminder: Everybody deserves to be fed and housed and to live free from fear There is no such thing as an illegal person Trans rights are human rights Women, though mysterious, are people

Now I want to know which CNN reporter or producer doesn't know the word "sycophant."

It’s not IQ bullshit, it’s not an inherent thing, it’s a cognitive degradation thing. It’s how adhering to a certain kind of ideology requires that you make yourself believe things that corrode your ability to perceive and think clearly and objectively about people and how people work

I haven't seen anyone ask this... Are we 100% sure Donald Trump didn't somehow hear the name of the capital of Greenland and misunderstand the nature of any military threat from that quarter?

Hey y’all remember on Jan 6th when women got on Tinder in DC and honeypotted all those rioters and sent a good clutch of ‘em to jail based on shit they admitted to in the DMs? Look I’m just saying they got Tinder in MN.

Took the kids out this weekend, went to a place where they had spicy felines in cages It was a katsu

Why wouldn't the pony go into the rickety house? He was worried it was unstable!

A bit of whimsy for the day #poetry

What do a selkie and a tube of pringles have in common? They're both resealable!

Announcing our first ever BSFA Award Longlist nomination for @singingtotigers.bsky.social for her story “For Tomorrow’s Moon” in our 2025 anthology “Our Dust Earth”

Did you hear about the hit single by the indie band whose members are all dogs? Barklife

From this week my novella The Path of Fire And Glory is available in paperback. In ebook it costs £0.99 to buy, and makes me 33p. In paperback it costs £3.99 and I make 7p. The price difference is driven by printing, not greed! tr.ee/i8iyQ-K0HI

CSI: Mes amis

Did you hear about the bankrupt pig? He was very pork

What goes buzz buzz moo? A bumble beef

The New World asked me to speak to some British trans women about what life has been like for them over the past few years - here's what they had to say, in their own words: www.thenewworld.co.uk/marie-le-con...

Did you hear about the pig who won a beauty contest? He was very hamsome

I work away from home a lot. I was teasing someone that I was in her office location more than she'd been this year, and implying she was lazy. Which is how I learned her grandmother had died. Covering myself in glory.

Fuck. Apparently blathering on about my writing and genre might be off-putting, and I should instead just be myself. To whit: What did the cheese say when it saw itself in the mirror? Halloumi

I have reached 102 total ratings on Goodreads! Through the century barrier! Lesbians In Space is doing a little of the lifting (15 ratings) showing the value of sidling up to famous authors and letting their halo reflect onto you (thanks @wctracy.bsky.social for including me in that anthology!)

One of the nicest things that could have happened to me in my writing happened yesterday. A reader emailed and asked when/if a paperback copy of The Path of Fire and Glory (mybook.to/Fireandglory) would be available, as they were enjoying the series but were a paper and not ebook reader.

I just woke up from a nap and somehow while I was asleep, everyone on the bus has figured out we are not going to the right place

These muppets wouldn't last 5 minutes on the sidelines of any sporting event in the UK. www.reddit.com/r/soccer/com...

There was a Columbian spot in Elephant and Castle that did a lunch buffet. The food tasted like what would be served at a family function, two superb soups, loads of chicken, rice, beans, veggies, salsa, excellent coffee The staff spoke only Spanish It was a joy

If you are caring for and cherishing and protecting someone that capitalism sees as disposable You are on the front lines already.

For lovers of romantasy, here is Chapter One of "They Who Receive" A princess and a foreign captive must face the peril of deadly court politics and embrace the fate the Gods foresee.

the entire population of England in 1086 will return in... Avengers Domesday

Worth every second

An argument I see repeatedly as the Americans go around talking about "immigration enforcement" (ie, racism as state policy) is the idea that it should go after "businesses that employ illegal immigrants" buddy. baby. my child. the immigration enforcement IS THE REASON those businesses do that

I need two more ratings on Goodreads to get to 100. That's a milestone goal which is out of my hands for the month. This is also a great moment to remind you that I have kids books. Three are available on Audible and I will give you a FREE redemption code if you want one!

they was, was they

This bobtail squid burrowing into the sand is already adorable, but please watch till the very end! It sticks out its little arms and earnestly sprinkles sand over itself 🦑𓂃◌𓈒𓐍

This is a beautiful place for a walk.

Today's poem #poetry

Let me tell you: some of our countries aren’t where we left them. Jane Zwart, from her luminous collection ODDEST & OLDEST & SADDEST & BEST #smallpoemsunday

#selfpit #YA #horror A teenage girl in post-war England falls in with the wrong crowd. In 2024 four girls discover a secret in the dankest corners of the internet. The choices they make risk everything. I'm looking for a publisher for this story about adolescence, fear, and friendship.

Today is The Path of Pain and Ruin's 3rd birthday I started the book because I was totally stuck on a different project and needed to palate cleanse. I finished it (after realising the villain wasn't the villain, and making the 2nd Act work thematically) and just released it into the wild.

Throw me in dude, drown me in strangeness. Lie to me, baffle me, make me work, be poetic. History is written by the victors, not by the losers. I am a loser. - Black Company The stains of rust seemed to map blood seas on the black, pocked surface of Mock's Vane - Gardens of the Moon

#poetry We come into this world with pain And go out of it that way too. If it were au raisin, au chocolat Things would be different. More butter, I know, does make things better Unctuous, sumptuous I could come and go syrupy Forgive me Lord I am Perdu