sorry, what is all this nonsense i’m seeing about finally being back outside because you’re single again? must be a skill issue because having a man has never stopped me from being outside.

like i already know im going to be late for brunch tomorrow and my friends were like “no problem! 🥰” just get better friends lol

i LOVE when the tardiness conversation comes up because people like to talk so tough but their rules don’t apply to me 😌

Whoever started this scheme is an idiot I’m even more dedicated to seeing every store close now since you think we’re stupid

men aren’t lonely enough.

this is the first show i haven’t felt FOMO for lol

after seeing the clips of Bad Bunny’s japan concert, i’m so grateful i saw him in CDMX. 🫣

i understand the schadenfreude of kristi noem getting fired, but he’s just going to pick someone even more evil so like… what’s to celebrate?

i’m calling CPS the next time i see a baby at a winery or brewery.

Such a perfect example of Pundit Brain at work: Harper says he always knew Trump was lying about being the peace candidate — but still turned that into criticism of Harris.

Remembering Herman Cain calling COVID a hoax and then COVID being the thing that took him out.

never in the history of ever, has a monroe piercing not looked tacky.

Report: Oh, Fuck Yeah, Egg Yolk Dripping All Over Sandwich https://theonion.com/report-oh-fuck-yeah-egg-yolk-dripping-all-over-sandw-1819579733/

signing up to be hazed by a fraternity feels like such loser behavior.

No, Cynthia Nixon caused a sensation by appearing in The Real Thing and Hurlyburly at the same time and commuting between them on her bicycle. What Nick Shirley caused was people getting killed. Please make a note of it.

Gov. Josh Shapiro called District Attorney Larry Krasner's comparison of ICE agents to Nazis "abhorrent." Krasner responded that Shapiro is "not meeting the moment."

people who complain about passengers that recline their seats on the airplane, why don’t you just fly on a budget airline? problem solved.

at this point when I say I want a child-free man, that means no pets either.

i’m so happy for Benito 🥹🥹

Macaulay Culkin pays tribute to ‘Home Alone’ mom Catherine O'Hara: “Mama. I thought we had time. I wanted more. I wanted to sit in a chair next to you. I heard you but I had so much more to say. I love you. l'Il see you later.”

struggling to figure out why this particular celebrity death is affecting me. I’m not usually the kind of person who mourns celebrities but this one is genuinely heartbreaking.

Explain to me why your god keeps taking everyone except the people that need to be taken.

71 feels so young

god, this year sucks so bad already

idk if it’s the constant horrors or what but catherine o’hara dying at just 71 years old is hitting me like a ton of bricks 😭😩😭😩😭😩

not Catherine O’Hara 🥺💔

finishing another gloriously camp episode of The Traitors before finding out what the internet is going to be irrationally angry about for the next week straight #TheTraitorsUS

Maybe he can fix RHOBH next. #TheTraitorsUS

Rob deserves this win, he truly does... but does he really HAVE to drag Colton to the end? #TheTraitorsUS

if I was at that round table, I would’ve voted for Natalie based on her terrible fashions alone. #TheTraitorsUS

one of my favorite things about #TheTraitorsUs is that I have built in phone scrolling time during the challenges

you couldn’t pay me to go on a cruise.

abolishing isn’t enough.

to avoid more tragic deaths we actually need to prosecute ICE 💖

its tuesday yall

why am i the kind of person who feels depressed if im not on my routine? 😩

Abolish ICE is not enough. Stern words for Greg Bovino or Kristi Noem is not enough. We need prosecutions and trials. Anything short of this position fails to address the gravity of this moment.

going about daily life in this nightmare feels so stupid and pointless.

stop using AI to do your research. it hallucinates too often. if you want an answer to something, post something arrogant on the appropriate subreddit. something like: "this item performs 10% better than everything else. only idiots deny this." this will bait nerds into doing your research for you.

Trump is such a transparent asshole but there’s something so evil about how JD Vance hides incredibly callous politics behind that nauseating “well now good sir” faux civility.

Over 100 priests have been arrested in Minneapolis for protesting ICE. They gathered to demand airlines to cease contracting deportation flights to DHS.

Suddenly men everywhere cannot find Philadelphia.

men are a liability

hetero men, tell your other hetero men they're scaring....everybody.

If America really had free speech the things I’d say about this piece of shit…