it’s not the size of the boat, it’s the girth of the boat

Canadian McDonald's is 100 times better than American, probably because it doesn't have people in it

Gnocchia Phone

It calls to me, somebody take it before I do

I lost Bluetooth privileges at the animal shelter today

I just did something wild and I LOVE IT SO MUCH

Bsky is goated bc it feels like an unsupervised psych ward

Why are men so easy to ragebait? It's entertaining as fuck. Like why are you mad I'm not telling you my work schedule, when I wake up or because I'm not willing to meet up with you right away?

Check this shit out

Because why the fuck have I hit this same place with Lysol and my strongest air freshener 10+ times and it still smells like onion and buttcheeks

Coming to work musty to the point I can SMELL your BO in the hallway before I even see you is insane

Life is a highway and I'm straight fuckin booze cruising, why were you on the sidewalk anyways

This is me tbh

this really shes my shed #sheshed

ill b honest idk wtf is goin on

Proud to say my helix is FINALLY healed after 6 long months, unfortunately I want a few more 🥀

cunnilinguini

Lakeview, Chicago

Fuck it have another selfie

Just had to explain to my younger coworker the reason why I wanna say "that's a crisp lasagna" every time I see an ultrasound picture

Before you DM me know I look just like this

They want us weak and unable to fight. Love yourself and eat that cheeseburger

Being told that I smell amazing hits different these days especially since I'm still very fem presenting Lol, you can smell the queer on me

DIY HRT community knowledge once again formerly vindicated years later by cis doctors. shoutout to @katie.bzky.team’s practical guide to feminizing HRT: pghrt.diy

I love to see it

potato diaper

Moments nobody prepares you for: when you have the bathroom door closed and your dog starts sniffing under it? Can I fuckin help you?

How life feels when you finally go the fuck off on the person everybody else hates too

Let's normalize just going in to get another tattoo while you're debating on when you're getting the first one touched up. This hasn't happened yet but it's about to 🐺

Happy Valentine's Gay

It's been 2 years today since I adopted George

Lol. Too late.

I think I'm digging this lime green once I actually get used to seeing my body in a swimsuit

Fingers crossed that is is menopause, I thought my intolerance for everybody's bullshit was from the testosterone itself.

Smoove off

He has also consumed a canvas part off of a shoe and a good amount of fake leather from a cards against humanity box set, along with chewing up my first set of sleeping Pokemon plushies that I had on my bed at the time. Dude is built like a goat

My dog will chew up an area rug and ask for more, he's gotten into chicken bones and dryer sheets and also been fine but for some reason Old Roy dog food gives him the shits. Make it make sense.

There's no reason why the hell my estrogen should be 1200 dollars for a 60 day supply but testosterone is 5 bucks a vial, medical misogyny is so much fun.

Sometimes life is just reposting my partner's memes he sends me on every platform and going about my day

Getting on T has been such a unique experience for my body bc why are my nails actually able to grow now? And why did my hemoglobin drop instead of actually increase? It's been over 6 months!