Family member gifted some wooden salad serving spoons. Wonders aloud where it might come from. 10 yo pipes up… “Maybe Laos, it’s the only country in the world whose main export is wood products…” I think my 10 year old might be a secret CIA analyst.

LinkedIn on Christmas Day is so bleak, I'd almost write a radio play about it.

All I can say is that I’ve signed a LOT of NDAs.

Cardiff couple invited man in for Christmas, he stayed for 45 years

Belatedly catching up on #duvetknowitschristmas and this is an all-time great. So bleak

The most wonderful time of the year, #DuvetKnowItsChristmas

This is the 15th year of #DuvetKnowItsChristmas, which is preposterous. Rules: if you find yourself dealing with unusual / claustrophobic / gaudy sleeping arrangements this Christmas Eve, share a picture with the world. Use the hashtag (with capitalisation) and cc me if you can be bothered.

Odd to notice you’ve created new Xmas traditions in your house. I’ve just broken out the Marlenka Honey Cake. And realised I’ve now done that every year for the last decade, and the weans have never known an Xmas without it.

I like to imagine that there is a rivalry between two top ham-sniffers: one, a meticulous keeper of precise traditions, the other a brash bad-boy with a colossal nose.

This was my biggest tweet over in the bad place. It will live here now. 🧙‍♀️🎄

The spiced beef has arrived! Christmas can now begin.

Where in Edinburgh sells Yoto story cards? Looking to pick up a gift for a very short person who has a player.

In August 2020, the Nuclear Decommissioning Authority announced a new date of 2333 for Dounreay to become available for other uses. That's over 300 years from now! constructionmanagement.co.uk/dounreay-nuc...

95% of my time on my phone is now it asking me if I would like to enable notifications.

New Scottish Parliament poll, Ipsos 27 Nov - 3 Dec (vs 12-18 Jun): List: SNP ~ 28% (+2) Lab ~ 18% (-4) RUK ~ 17% (+1) Grn ~ 17% (+2) Con ~ 12% (+2) LD ~ 7% (-1) Constituency: SNP ~ 35% (+1) RUK ~ 18% (+4) Lab ~ 16% (-7) Con ~ 11% (+1) Grn ~ 9% (nc) LD ~ 9% (nc)

Once, in Virgin megastore on Tottenham Court Road with my then girlfriend, I reached behind me to affectionately tickle her midriff. There was a cough and I turned round to find I was stroking the belly of a large ginger man wearing a very similar shade of green.

The Boston Scots Charitable Society is the oldest still operating charity in the US I think. Looks like they might have a few more temporary members next year!

Update on the deep concern I raised with the Prime Minister about job losses in the Scottish energy sector. We need a just transition but the UK Government must take different decisions.

Bosco grew up #toyshow

When Catherine Connelly hangs up her boots, CMAT for President! #ToyShow

Now have them do Jamie Oliver Petrol Station #ToyShow

#LateLateToyShow And there's a tooth for everyone in the audience!

Bring out Lankum you cowards. #ToyShow

Boy with the mullet might need an exorcist. #ToyShow

Tara’s in a flat cap… where is this going… #ToyShow

Couple of emotional available young lads, so naturally here comes the Irish man who epitomises that… Roy Keane… #ToyShow

Lewis Capaldi sending a message to Keelan and Dylan, ah lads. #ToyShow

Wait, is Pitch and Potty not an actual product but an invention of Declan? The wean has just given away some prime IP away on telly there. #ToyShow

My English husband is hoping Kneecap appear... I kinda hope so too. #LateLateToyShow

Main test of the #ToyShow is not falling asleep while the blue ‘Programme resumes shortly’ shows up in what would be ads in Ireland.

Computer rigged up to the TV and we’re ready for the #LateLateToyShow!

Writers 👇🏼👇🏼👇🏼

Just broke spawn-the-elders brain by pointing out that asking “how” means different things in Scotland compared to England.

The Telegraph, ladies and gentlemen.

Let’s defeat the politics of hate and despair with the politics of hope. Honoured to march with the STUC through Glasgow against racism, and for a fair and diverse country that we must remain.

Tackling child poverty is my driving mission - and thanks to our actions, Scotland is the only part of the UK where child poverty is falling. Glad that Labour was finally shamed into doing the right thing.

Fancy being Director General of the BBC? Keep your application to two sides of A4: careers.bbc.co.uk/job/Director...

BREAKING: A Labour MP has called for the Prime Minister to resign Nadia Whittome said the Government had to move in a 'completely different direction'

Yep, why not score a goal from your own half in the 98th minute?

After Troy Parrott performing miracles I feared I’d lost my boys to being Ireland fans. But McTominey and McLean having a go from the halfway line has seriously helped my cause!

WE'VE DONE IT! Scotland are going to the World Cup! 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿

Scotland!!

HahahahahahbahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahagahahahahHagHahahHhHahHahahahahahbahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahagahahahahahahahahbahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahagahahaha

Controversial opinion, but Scott McTominey is pretty good at this football stuff.

Pure filth.

In 2020 Keir Starmer and Alf Dubs urged the then Conservative Government to restore their commitment to family reunion for child refugees, saying there was a “moral argument” to protect desperately vulnerable young people. Five years later Dubs condemns Starmer for doing the complete opposite

"don't unpack yer suitcase, Paddington" - Labour

Maybe nothing sums up the cultural vapidity of Tech like the fact they sprinted past doing Torment Nexus stuff that's *like* a Black Mirror episode, and straight to shit that's explicitly *from* Black Mirror episodes, promoted with ads which are lit, shot and set-designed like Black Mirror episodes.