I thought for a minute the jobu worked.

This Royals team is the most profane version of “The Aristocrats” joke ever told.

Mr Sherman should probably call an owners meeting and clear this shit down. Oooof.

I’m rooting for Texas bunt.

Our dynamic closer has a 5.60 ERA prior to this inning start.

This will be used about 10,000 times in the next few weeks.

Sent Jobu to team last night to fix mess. Should kick the teeth outta Rocker today.

Cleaning music took a turn where I’m now crying and feeling lucky. open.spotify.com/track/0eBryM...

Yup @costplusdrugs.com beats commercial insurance co-pays www.ajmc.com/view/cost-pl...

We’re gonna be in this shit for a long ass time.

Go Amed, Go.

All MLB pitchers have to have variants from 95-75 with great command to win. These are the rules. Put me in charge of the team.

Whatever the fuck pitch that was from Cruz three ago? Holy

Who is this man? He caught me on a day that this caused actual ugly crying. Thank god for this man.

Welp.

Cmon ding bat.

But you don’t have to take my word for it: youtu.be/-26xEPIR3KY?...

Nuts.

His name is Kyle Isbel. He never lets me down.

Dear @royals.com whoever made this ad for bobble heads? They get a raise. No notes.

Love this guy: www.drivelinebaseball.com/2026/05/how-...

The snack convo always works. Good for team. Let’s go do a season.

OoOooOooooOo

x.com/mlb/status/2... I’ve never wanted something more in my life…

I have more faith in 20 year old underwear than I do in these demons being prosecuted.

Sometimes it's edgertronic cameras and weighted balls and the like. Sometimes it's "hey can you scoot over an inch or so." On Landen Roupp's early success, for @fangraphs.com

Dear Royals PD: STOP TRADING WITH THIS ORG.

Miley owes me. It’s the best of both worlds over here at 6:45 in the morning…

I like these purple fits. Yes. #HeyHeyHeyHey

The snacks are working.

The tracking of the Cruz ball to the foul pole yesterday is so funny to look at

It’s only gonna get worse. That’s the beauty of baseball. Rock bottom isn’t even here yet.

I’m taking pre-orders

I looked away after Matt did well and now I’m back. I see it’s going well. Maybe when you leave 1738 guys on base you lose? Prolly should work on hitting.

I’m watching this game. I’ve threatened these ding dongs with snacks.

His name is…

Absolutely incredible. NASA Astronaut Reid Wiseman, who commanded Artemis II, took this footage from the far side of the Moon with his iPhone. Watch with sound on.

I’m so tired of this self righteous stuff from men in response to the rape website. “Not all men. I’m not responsible for the actions of bad men.” Why not? We make women vessels to carry that shame. You can at least step up and share the burden. It should never have been ours to carry.

Next pitch, boys. God day to start something new tomorrow.

Updated timeline discussions for the CBA strike are now at mid-May 2027 resolution.

It’s snack time. I gotta bring these guys snacks for wins.

Ahhahahahha omfg they can’t catch a break man

I believe in Jo Adell.

Less firin', more hirin', Less Wall Street, more Main Street, Less ICE thugs, more nice hugs, Less droppin' bombs, more helpin' moms, Less shootouts, more cookouts, Less hypocrisy, more democracy. - Gospel of George and Whatnot

The coaching staff needs a solid shake up. I’ll say that much.

This type of fandom is very acceptable. Yes.

haha of course Lindor hits his first homer of the year off Yamamoto this sport is so dumb

Literally don’t do that. Being on the other side of this it fucking sucks. These guys know they’re not doing well. There are so many factors as to why. You threatening to murder them or trade them all fucking day makes them sad. Stop it.