Wigan Saints derby won by a lad from Kent who has only had one training session with Saints

The most shocking thing about the NASA trip round the moon from the Kennedy Space Centre is that the orange tantrumming toddler Trump has not tried to label any of it with his own name

Erling Braut Haaland and Snorri Sturluson in one sentence? Well, the Norwegian footballer has purchased a rare book from 1594, containing the Icelandic author's compilation of Norwegian kings' sagas - giving this as a gift to his home municipality of Time. More of this! www.nrk.no/sport/erling...

Fucking crazy that Iran is now the one country in the world telling the truth about America!

I see lots of football internationals have already been cancelled this week, thanks to the war launched by the recipient of FIFA's inaugural peace prize, the War Pig Donald J Trump

Trump says he will hit Iran's power plants- oil prices shoot through the roof. Then he postpones on a false claim that there have been talks with Iran. Oil prices go down. Everything EVERYTHING that Trump does is designed to make a stack of cash for him and his mates. War as market manipulation

Saka can now be released from Nico's pocket

No sound on the footy from ITV but plenty for the adverts. Including the advert where it is declared "you are on mute"

So, no, the word 'Easter' doesn't tend to be on the front - and hasn't been for decades Yes, they're called 'Chocolate Eggs' - as they have been since they were invented in the 1870s But yes, the word Easter will be on side or back the box, and all around the shop displays 👍🏻 11/

Well #SNLUK was good. Not every sketch hit home but I quite like that in a live show. The good stuff was better than I expected. Definitely looking like essential viewing. And I hope they don't tone any of it down. Great launch

After Trump disses Starmer, Irish leader Micheál Martin jumps in to defend Starmer and encourages Trump to get along with him. Martin then pivots to defending Ukraine -- a country Trump also dissed earlier in the event.

Europeans when asked to help unblock the strait of Hormuz:

"Iran, which is completely defeated, is disrupting the Strait with the navy and missiles we've completely destroyed and that is unacceptable because it is making the oil price go up, which is good actually, and NATO which I do not support needs to come rescue us immediately. Thank you for your a..."

I generally find the winners of the top prizes to be dire and disappointing. Watched Sinners today and boy did I enjoy it. So that no doubt guarantees that it won't win anything #Oscars

Wow, #BBCBreakfast, gone full on Trump mouthpiece today.

Air forces have a long history of claiming that they can launch pinpoint strikes and win wars on their own. The first is obviously closer than it has ever been. But the second will never happen. It always needs boots on the ground. I'd love to know what Trump's Chiefs of Staff have been telling him

Am I pissed Dubai getting more news time after attacked one time by Shahed drone than Ukraine attacked by Shahed drones daily for now 5 years ? Yeah a little bit

Dear Iran He wants your oil. He's not interested in restoring democracy: he wants a puppet that will do his bidding. Because he wants your oil.

Top oil reserve countries on Earth: 1 - Venezuela ✓ 2- UAE 3 - Iran ✓ 4 - Canada Any questions?

"The Islamists oppose women getting an education," I mutter, as I aim my missile at the girls school

Hmm what natural resource do Iran and Venezuala have in common that might explain the actions of the Orange Tw*t?

How can #Rush replace such an iconic drummer as Neil Peart. I'll tell you: the way they have done it. Rewatching "Time Machine: Live in Cleveland" and transfixed by how good Neil was. But every Rush fan wants Annika to succeed. There is so MUCH goodwill. Give us your heart and we will give you ours

Private Eye very good this week on Fleet St hindsight

What a thing to say about a sexual assaulter and predator.

Never understood why the CGI is so much better in LOTR than The Hobbit. It's like the tech went backwards, all jerky and obvious

I'm old enough that I watched a healthy girl in my kindergarten class catch polio and was in a wheelchair by 1st grade and she died at 36. She cried all the time because she was in pain. When you die I'm gonna piss on your grave, Del.

Will there be commemorative China? #AndrewMountbattenWindsor #PrinceAndrew #Epstein

Arsenal fans calling for Arteta to be sacked

OTD in 1992 CSTO alliance was signed in Moscow. A mutual defense organization that has enlarged without asking NATO for permission. If you're a member of an alliance with Russia, Russia will either attack you or sit idle when someone else does.

You can't even make this shite up🤷‍♀️ An Immigrant living in tax free Monaco who receives State Benefits from the UK Government but who doesn't pay income tax here yet employs immigrants to make him money at ManU but screwed Scots by shutting oor only Oil Refinery complains aboot Immigrants here 🙄

Yeah the legacy media has nothing to do with it. Loooooolllll

BREAKING: Nigel Farage calls for an end to working from home and the focus on work-life balance "People aren't more productive working from home - it's a load of nonsense” Whatever you do JUST DON’T VOTE REFORM!

Putting emotion aside, the ref in the Liverpool City game got every decision correct

While there is justified outrage about Mandelson, Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor &others, the relentless media focus on Keir Starmer (who was NOT mentioned in any Epstein file) is overdone. By contrast, no focus on Farage who WAS mentioned (and who, BTW, applauded the appointment of Mandelson)…

LiVARpool. Not enough today though #BlueMoon

That video of Kemi Badenoch with a rat in it is amazing. There's also a rodent running behind her

Mock The Week back. Excellent

NO LIES 👇 DETECTED.......

We really should question whether the UK should do business with a country with a record of human rights abuses. Murdering protesters, for example, kidnapping the leaders of other countries, or trying to bully an ally into giving ip territory

From Viz, three years ago: The Brexit Opportunity Detector. Still looking.

Mike Bushell on #BBCBreakfast driving the whole of Wales round the bend with his mispronunciation of Elfyn Evans' name. Surely there must be someone involved in the production who can tell him that a single F is pronounced like a V in English?

Nooooooooooooo! You fckers!!! Can't end like that #Traitors

Stephen CANNOT change his vote #Traitors

High statistical likelihood of a draw #Traitors

Whoa what is Rachel doing? Why go for Stephen when the target is James? #Traitors

Oooh has Stephen just saved Rachel. She is wounded anyway and won't win but she may make the final if he successfully puts it onto James #Traitors