i had a dream i had a cat, and then i woke up drooling on my right hand… whatever that means

i've never tried a microp*nis but i kinda want to honestly

tomorrow would be a terrible day to wear a jockstrap 🙂‍↔️🙂‍↔️

i only hope this gets more people to discover the legendary australian diva that is Delta Goodrem

idk how people can have sex for hours. i just know i'd get annoyed

Kinda wanna jork it but it's late… I should just go to sleep

Hikaru Utada's live shows are all on Prime now?!? omgggg

these vicks cough drops are no joke holy shit

i think oomfie looks like they have a nice looking wiener

it’s the freaking weeking baby!!

Fridays are always fun here

Stop and smell the bush, or whatever they say

Anybody else just listen to Cheeky Song every once in a while?

it’s the freaking weeking baby!!

my pokopia album is just various pics of both Pikachu and Peakychu eating all sorts of food

Less than one week until Tomodachi Life!!! Dunno if I’m gonna import my demo data

it’s the freaking weeking baby!!

i hate when people go to class sick. now I'M sick

Do you think when straight guys post thirst traps they’re surprised that their comment sections are mostly men

i'm gonna try to make this furfrou useable damn it

“I’m Slytherin! What are you?” I’m 40.

Sometimes I just wanna put my cylinder in someone's m&m tube

who starts an album off like this….

idk. i would never listen to a straight man who spoke about chappell roan like that much less a footballer 🤷‍♂️

I imagine if you're 6'6 or taller, it doesn't really matter how big your wang is, it's going to look small compared to your body

it's late but like... i became inexplicably h-word. i'm gonna sleep it offffffff

me this weekend

it’s the freaking weeking baby!!

love how snapchat makes it a big deal that my snap streak broke. i'm not 14 anymore lol who gives a rat's ass

can't wait for Pokopia tbh

living through yet another thing

stared at browt so much i had a vision

i just heard the song "Melting Pot" for the first time in years and... I forgot the word "chinkees" is in there

I JUST WANT GREAT BIG BARA TIDDIES! I NEED THEM SO BIG THEY ENTER A ROOM BEFORE I DO!

my cup size? reese's

I had a dream that I lost my wide frying pan

I was supposed to go to sleep but my stomach decided it was time to rumble

i would like to have it be known that i have been listening to Donna Summer's MacArthur Park for days at this point, and it has nothing to do with its current virality it's exactly the song that it thinks it is

Hikaru Utada's gonna be on the new Charlie Puth album??? wut

Happy 15th anniversary to this tweet:

i'm still rather unsure what curling entails

schrödinger's wasian

stream Not Such An Innocent Girl

everybody posting their 2016 pics making me feel like i was the only fatty during that year

this is genuinely incredible

who's got a big ween and wants to show me?

Happy new year!

🐈‍⬛🤍