Another day, another mysterious piece of grated cheese in the bathroom.

Did Bernard Black write this

There comes a time where we have to recognise that the hyper rich are an alien species. A predatory alien species.

It's all in the alt text

Get yourself a man who randomly turns and gives you a filthy, flirty wink when he thinks no one else is looking.

I went to the Museum of Somerset yesterday and saw the wonderful floor mosaic of Dido and Aeneas. It gave me feelings.

Slow down. Don't race through life or you might outrun the forest ghosts, dark fairies, and ancient witches in floating cottages that are trying to catch you and carry you away to another realm.

Get back to nature. Wander into the old forest, let your antlers and talons grow ragged, leave your human form behind, and become the malevolent monstrosity you were always meant to be.

It's so DARK outside and not even 4pm?! This country hurts my Australian brain.

Some nights the dreams are so bad it's like being beaten to death with memories.

In this world gone utterly and brutally mad, the light of true kindness shines brighter than ever.

Autumn is a feast for the senses. Brilliantly colored trees, woodsmoke drifting through malevolent fog, leaf ghouls rising from their loamy graves, and the pervasive smell of damp squirrels in haunted hollows and the alley behind the kebab shoppe.

Your spores are mid 🍄‍🟫

No matter how secure you think your marriage or relationship is, never EVER put anything about your mental health or your deepest darkest feelings in writing to your partner. Ever.

Today's soundtrack while I dye my hair for the 400,000th time. open.spotify.com/track/64A7qQ...

Never enough rocks

Behold my own litany of unimpressed sheep

Just for any academics, let me be clear, Hookland is anti-nostalgic. It's an exploration and exorcism of my childhood, not a celebration of falsely remembered sunshine. Nostalgia is a warping gravity.

Reading has brought me such great joy in my life, but, damn, has it also caused me terrible pain these last years. Literacy is a path to madness now. Every day, every news story, is an invitation for those of us cursed by the gods with basic reading comprehension to blind ourselves Oedipus-style.

Mood: open.spotify.com/track/434rR2...

Once again: It's not an epidemic of loneliness. It's an epidemic of fucking CONSEQUENCES.

Oh no, my girl dinner post upset some men! Let me just gather those tears and use them to salt my lasagne.

It is £180 each way to catch the (2 hour) train to London. That's $360 Australian dollars. To go that same distance by train in Australia is less than £10 or $20AUD. Just let that sink in for a moment.

Girl dinner.

Therapy hurt my feelings again. Ugh.

There are infections of blood. There are infections of the soul. There are I believe, infections of the place. For the land itself may be wounded by our traumas. Where its psychic skin cracks, the spoilings of rot and wickedness can set in. We call such infections hauntings. – Rev. A. Morley

Someone recently asked me if I *always* have to say whatever is in my head and yes, actually I do. You're welcome.

Wonder and curiosity will help insulate you from cynicism and despair 🩷

Never give up. Somewhere in the world, there's a haunted manor house on the moors with a mysterious caretaker, indifferent cats, and secret libraries within libraries, waiting for you in the darkness.

A couple of times a week I'm trying to walk back my cooking trauma by making dinner. It's slow going. The fear and anxiety from having had it literally thrown at me is not something I'm sure will ever go away.

£67 for 2 adults and 2 kids to catch a train for a 19 minute return trip. lolol the UK is fucken cooked.

babe are you ok you’ve barely talked about the horrors of being alive

Quietly pleased with myself for nabbing a Lands End coat for £20 on Vinted. Those fuckers retail for £250.

I sold my stupidly expensive Dyson OnTrac headphones so I could buy a warm, waterproof coat for this English weather and maybe afford a few little bus or train rides to interesting places. At least now I'll be warm and dry whilst traipsing about this wet and beautiful land.

Do you have a certain way of eating a particular style of biscuit? For example, with Arnotts Orange Slice I like to twist apart the two biscuits, scrape out the orange cream centre into the bin, then hurl each biscuit part onto the roadway for passing cars to crush into a fine dust.

In confused paroxysms of joy over this impending slew of good weather

What forest spirit best matches your mood? 1. wistful goat of woe 2. gnarled gnome of hope 3. cantankerous toad of doom 4. exhausted moss mound

An autumn walk 🍁🍂

Don't speak to me or my emotional support badger ever again

"All that is gold does not glitter; not all those who wander are lost; the old that is strong does not wither; deep roots are not reached by the frost." J. R. R. TOLKIEN

Remember. No matter where you are in life, you're never too far away from a mossy haunted cottage in the woods, brimming with dark malice. Take comfort in that.

Make new things, including friends. Make paintings, songs, and books. Make enchanted daggers of ancient goblin bones. Make a cloak of moss, enspell it with dark magic, and become a wandering legend of the wildlands.

The walk along Offa's Dyke was so lovely. Autumn colours, cows, mud and little robin redbreasts glaring at us from the trees. The view from the Devil's Pulpit to Tintern Abbey is spectacular. 🍁🍂

I found the most beautiful tiny ghost mushrooms on Offa's Dyke. Only a few millimetres tall.

Off to the Forest of Dean today, as there is a brief window of no rain. Offa's Dyke is on the menu, as is the Devil's Pulpit. If I get abducted by the Fae, don't come looking for me please and thank you.

Pleased to report that the Carnival was absolutely bat shit insane.

Deep down, don't we all want the same thing? To be with someone who makes us feel safe and loved? Someone who will help us run a tea shoppe & used bookstore in the old forest for witches, fairies, and the wild folk of the wood?