Watching Aussie Dashcam compilations to combat a sudden wave of homesickness. Nothing like hearing "OI YA FUCKEN DICKHEAD" in your own terrible vernacular.

This is the most me-coded owl I've ever seen. He GROMP.

Owl, William Holbrook Beard, 1889. #OwlishMonday

Here comes a Hollowing Man To empty all of your insides out Here comes the Stuffing Man To have a good rummage about For you are his child Stuffed with straw and bone For you are his child Stuffed with teeth and stone - Trad. Hookland nursery rhyme

I would be so fucked

Sly carrots will get you

It took me 2 hours to get through all the dishes and give the kitchen even a cursory clean. 2 HOURS. I can never get sick again.

It's 5am and I'm hungry. Is there such a thing as sending up a flare in order to be rescued by hot, unproblematic men bearing bacon.

Can't wait to be nuked in my sleep 🙌🏻

Cool so Trump is after Greenland and Denmark is a member of NATO soooo that triggers Article 5 of the North Atlantic Treaty: "an [armed] attack on one member is an attack on all, obligating other members to assist, potentially with armed force, to restore security in the North Atlantic area."

The only New Year’s resolutions you need are to read more books, eat more burritos, and to finally become the terrifying horror who scares folk away from the ragged edge of the forest.

What would you call a cough plus fart, anyway. A fough? A cart? The mind boggles.

I don't wanna cough anymore. Earlier I coughed so hard I farted and it was one of those sharp(?!) farts that leaves you feeling violated. 0 stars.

Earlier tonight I was remonstrated for saying (in an extremely loud and obnoxious Australian accent) "WAS THAT A FUCKEN DONKEY!?" And it was, in fact, a fucken donkey. Honking with obstreperous zeal from a neighbouring field.

Gimme some fucken snow you cunt

Right. Tomorrow I'm going back to making miniatures. Hold me accountable.

When people have the means to solve their problems but won't solve their fucking problems

Oh good

Moths are excellent pets as they ask for nothing and all you have to do to acquire lots of them is open a window and switch on seven lamps and put a classic early Leonard Cohen LP on at a pleasant volume.

🙌🏻

Can't say I expected a bunch of Cromwell bros to kick off in my mentions, but here we are

Ok but what if I could time travel back to the 1600s and kick Oliver Cromwell in the dick

Whoever has my voodoo doll, put it on a fucking treadmill.

Go watch the cricket, or a Ghibli film, or look at some birds, or scream into the void The people yelling at you for disengaging from current world events to protect your mental health are horrid, unempathetic little fuckers pushing their weird little performative misery kink on anyone they can

A little light entertainment this evening. Watching The Revenant and eating home made gingerbread.

It may be time to start over. Only this time we'll be a moss based society, where pinecones are general currency, owls keep the peace, and the dark magic of the old forest gods entertain us through the night.

St Issui was a truly beautiful little church. Built before the Norman invasion, on a hill above a sacred spring. I could have stayed there for hours. It was decorated with beautiful evergreen boughs and clearly very loved by the locals.

Silly bitch in a sleigh alert

Hanging out with the Mari Lwyd in Caerphilly 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁷󠁬󠁳󠁿

I'VE SEEN SNOW also I nearly died walking down this icy hill

@oneangryeyebrow.bsky.social Sound up lol

It's me! I'm the Aussie! 🤘🏻

Will I see snow today? Fuck knows, but I am EXCITED. (Australian in UK that has never seen proper snow, either falling or fallen)

That tracks tbh

The Englishman just told me that on a day to day basis, he doesn't hurt. Like...what do you mean you're not in pain at all time. Are there people out there who aren't in pain all day every day?!

God really made sea lions like “what if a wet banana could scream”

Heading to Abergavenny tomorrow to see some doom paintings and then to a Mari Lwyd event. Can't wait to get out of the house for a spooky adventure!

Huge news: I've washed my hair.

Your daily fortune: Today you will have a 50/50 chance of having an awesome day, or turning into a giant mushroom. Good luck.

Overdid it on the party favours and paté yesterday, so now I'm on the couch watching restoration TV shows and eating sad dry crackers.

My greatest wish is that the dark fairy’s curse upon us is finally lifted, and our human forms crack and break open. Three badgers will emerge, blink in the dawn of a new day, and run off into the mossy old forest, free at last.

Why does everyone like these Knives Out things so much. They're just more flamboyant and annoying versions of Midsummer Murders episodes.

We all have that one friend who's a sock puppet that got permanently fused to our hand during a lightning storm and now it whispers sinister coded instructions to us at night time

The Englishman made me watch something called Jools Holland, which I'm fairly sure killed at least 5% is my remaining braincells. I had to watch Kyuss music videos to recover.

You don't need to change for anyone in the new year. Your untamed Muppet hair, exhausted confusion, ragged claws, and aura of mossy darkness are perfect the way they are.

Some of you aren't used to every year being the worst year of your life and it shows

I'm so ready