Oh my fucken GORD Split Enz are touring

Fark moi I used to be able to buy a pair of R.M. Williams for the price of an Akubra and an Akubra for the price of a tank of fuel what the fuck happened

Buying all the boys at work new truckie first aid kits for Christmas, while I'm at it Our truck's the only one with a stocked kit in it, which is fucken wild given it's ES work

Someone has stained my benchtops with turmeric again

I'm so excited to spend the next several weeks utilising my medical autism to put together the perfect first aid kit for when my guy and I get lost in the outback after one of us inevitably makes a wrong turn on a straight stretch of road

Fella's ancestry update: BOTH sides of his family are inbred across multiple generations with the same fucken people oh my god

I have no eggs, but may I offer you this nice chook?

I love my guy very, very much, but the sound of him eating a bag of chips makes me want to punt him through a window

Icecream Hands dropped a banger of an album on their Bandcamp last night, for those of you so inclined

Losing my shit because I FINALLY have a Charlotte to go with my Sherri 🩷🤡 #dollsky

Chilli status update:

I bought Sam a Santa full of catnip while I was out today and she's having the time of her life rn 🩷

How many fucks and cunts do I need to use before the Bluesky mod team silences me for being Australian

Fucken yurmmmm

Back on my country pub bullshit

There is a strange outside moo cat mooing at my inside moo cats and they're all very intrigued

Actually the worst shit I have ever eaten in my life I'm never giving into curiosity again

Mate

Discord server is arguing about the cricket (how good's the cricket?? 🙌) and I've weaseled both snooker and darts into the conversation and it's now completely derailed

I get my kicks cooking a pan of caramelised onions and mushrooms when my guy isn't home 💅🏻

The dichotomy of man

Might fuck around and plant a feijoa tree

I've realised why this very Melbourne weather we've been having in Adelaide has me dumbfounded We were in the middle of an 8 month long drought this time last year I just want to dry my linen 🥲

My boyfriend doesn't need fidget toys, he just steals the key fobs from cars he impounds

Currently huffing a bottle of Tom Ford Soleil Blanc, in case you were wondering how I'm doing rn

We're less than a month away from summer and I'm shivering my ass off under two doonas rn wtf

I wonder how many weirdo yanks come to Australia under the false premise that Outback Steakhouse mimics a pub feed and are sorely disappointed to discover we do not in fact serve kookaburra wings or big fuck off deep fried onions and that Alfredo did not originate in Toowoomba

Hello and welcome back to Chilli Buys Dolls On The Internet Today's mail: four of my most sought-after Lalaloopsys #dollsky

My fellow Australians, what the fuck is happening here

Explaining to people interstate that most vets in Adelaide will actively push you away from the RSPCA here because they have a track record of animal neglect and pretty well immediately euthanise any and all surrendered pets and every person I've spoken to is horrified

I fear the speakers in the Hilux are well and truly thrashed I'll have to pay FIL to install a new sound system when he services it for me

My cat has some catnip treats and a warm blankie and is parked in front of a telly playing an 8 hour antiques roadshow compilation I'm a little bit jealous

FIL works for the cops and as a result has several of the power supplies they use for their cars rigged up in the back of the Hilux, very excited for it to explode when I'm halfway to Alice Springs 💅🏻

Somebody (the boy) smashed a shot glass and clearly didn't clean up after himself properly Saturday night because I've just copped a hand full of glass shards while wiping down the kitchen benchtops

Why is there a retail-size box of Jolt cola in my kitchen

Anyway I have choccy and a Pepsi and I'm irresponsibly spending money to make myself feel better so all is well in Chateau de Chilli rn

Same guy I threw out last year for not paying rent, not paying back borrowed money, refusing to do any housework, and refusing to replace other peoples' food he'd eaten after living with us for four months, btw 💅🏻

Very rarely do I ban someone from my house but lol, lmao even

It's fine apparently I'm just playing the victim for nothing and being stood over and yelled at by a grown man was somehow a misunderstanding 🫶🏻

Oh nooooo the boy's troglodyte friend none of us like yelled at me for *checks notes* needing to pee instead of playing Mario Kart with him??? After making a dozen snide little comments towards me since he got here I have hidden myself away to cry uwu 🫶🏻✌🏻

Currently feeding the boys whatever leftover booze I have under the bar if they buy in

Honestly goals

I have the most wonderful bestie oh my gordddddd 🥺🩷🩷🩷

Jimmie Beam tins, I have purchased Royally munted, I shall get

The Robin Hood in Strathalbyn. The highest rated pub in town. Nicely sized portions, Brock was quite happy with the size of his schnitty. I made him try the barramundi, turned his nose up at it immediately - it was fantastic, he just has the palate of a toddler Another 7/10 Strath pub

We drink in moderation And it wouldn't really matter if the beer was flat (it is, in fact, a little bit flat)

My guy's yapping about selling our precious Avalon before we leave, I've had to remind him that we own a single-cab Hilux which will rule out gunning it across town on the beers with the boys indefinitely

Giving the boy an hour long rundown of all the billabong cruises I'm gonna send him on so we can look at crocodiles and Jesus birds for five days straight 🙌

Sorry costume-clad children who walked the 800m down my driveway to my front door, I don't have any lollies for you Best I can do is a 10% premix Jack and coke and a cone each