If I had a dollar for every time in the last 12 months we've had no less than 15 Hazmat crews four houses down because the entire street suddenly smells of sulphur, I'd have two dollars

I have to wake up to drive 500km in 4 hours and I'M STILL AWAKE WAHHHHHH

SCREAMING CRYING THROWING UP I JUST BOUGHT A SCRAPS STITCHED N SEWN #dollsky

Royal Commission into why I must keep facing man-made horrors beyond my comprehension

The tarps and medstar chopper across the road from my house aren't looking very promising 😬 Very glad we don't tow fatalities

Once again begging the worst kinds of pet owners to understand that legally absolving ownership of an animal that isn't desexed or microchipped and is heavily pregnant because you're irresponsible as fuck doesn't mean you can throw a tantrum and demand their legal owner to return them a year later 🫶🏻

I *was* going to clean out the esky

Pls I just wanna finish cleaning my car 😭

Pippin's currently supervising while I pack for my trip 🫶🏻

I wonder how quickly the 4-battery system in the back of the Hilux will fail and/or explode

Bro please it's not even 8am

Fucken love jerky, mmmm human dog treats yummo

Don't let weird middle-aged men tell you that you have too many piercings, they're cringe and bad and probably divorced and estranged from their children and definitely creep on 17 year old girls 💅🏻

It hit 46°c here very briefly today and I am seriously considering becoming a mole person

Fugg and hell

Oop turns out she's accidentally Enid

Begging the yanks to stop claiming every single video of an Australian animal posted by an Australian zoo or wildlife park is AI generated

Each of my cats had picked an air vent to lie under all day, there's ice in all their water bowls and I'm routinely misting the Fat Ones so they don't cark it Please leave plenty of cool water out for your local wildlife today frens 🫶🏻

"hurr durr stupid children pushing 30 can't *checks notes* spin a wheel to the correct number" you're embarrassing yourself

Yeah nah she's bloody hot today

Woolies substituted my beef mince for butterflied mango chicken this is going to be the worst Bolognese I'll ever make

Why did my 4'10 ass decide on a Hilux I can't climb into the back of without the assistance of a milk crate instead of something sensible like buying a third Delica

All three of them are in Bam's spot so he's currently sooking under my bed

The Professional Hater™ in our friend group thinks the Pippin and Merry sidequesting in Two Towers is the worst part of the film

I become viscerally angry when I see yanks owning Australian wildlife

Girliepop needs a name 🫶🏻

I'm absolutely not dealing with near-50°c heat in the Riverland this week so I'm gonna do the smart thing and fuck off to Robe In the middle of school holidays Oh no

I've finally talked the boy into watching LotR and I'm once again faced with the consequence of watching my beloved Merry be the single most criminally underrated fantasy character ever written

May I offer you a nice cat in this trying time

If you’re still on X you are part of the problem. If you’re still on there because your friends are, that is the same excuse they are using. If your business/job relies on being on a hate filled propaganda machine you may want to think about that? Rant Ends: I am going to make cheese on toast.

Go watch the cricket, or a Ghibli film, or look at some birds, or scream into the void The people yelling at you for disengaging from current world events to protect your mental health are horrid, unempathetic little fuckers pushing their weird little performative misery kink on anyone they can

My two default states are heavy makeup and filtered photos so I emerged from my dungeon earlier tonight without foundation on and people who have only ever seen me on the internet assumed I'm reacting to my medusa piercing (literally what???) or I have some horrible goblin disease (I do, it's lupus)

He's bonded better with my partner than with me and I can't pretend I'm not at least a little salty about it

Something americans need to understand is that your country has always been a colonial occupation war monster with an endless hunger for new resources and territories that not only has never shied away from mass death but in facts seems to seek it enthusiastically at every turn.

No, no thank you

Accurate

Please tell me how I keep forgetting I got a medusa piercing not even 12 hours ago bc I'm real fucken sick of accidentally sending my soul to Jesus when I try to itch my face

Trying to convince my guy to get in a helicopter and see the Bungle Bungles with me while we're in Kununurra

Introduce yourself with what almost killed you I had ruptured cysts on both of my ovaries when I was 17 and the cunt of a doctor in the ED tried to send me home twice under the guise of period cramps I had sepsis and my organs were failing rapidly 💅🏻

Hi hello I shall be living on soups and broths for the next several weeks

No Mr chemist man I don't want fucking saline nasal spray please just give me the wound wash I'm asking for

I love my guy dearly but he's currently eating corn chips not 6 feet away from me and I'm trying my hardest not to rocket him into the sun

*taps mic* LET 👏🏻 PEOPLE 👏🏻 WHINGE 👏🏻

This year I would like the males to be even lonelier 🩷

Everyone say happy birthday Ichiban 🫶🏻 I hope they don't write him out of his own game again

Flashbacks to performing Shakespeare every year in my literacy studies class and the complete lack of a basic grasp on phonetics and pronunciation half my cohort had despite being the tippy top level I pray you never have to hear an eshay butcher Act V - Scene V of Macbeth

Very excited to fuck up my Goodreads list for the fifth year in a row by the end of March

Back to living on baby food for a month tomorrow so the boy's currently making me the biggest breakfast burrito ever 🩷

The ONLY thing I'm looking forward to this year

Have the year you deserve 🫶🏻