hey man. you’re already a billionaire. you can spend a million dollars a day for the rest of your life and not even dent your nest egg. why are you spending your time arguing against citizens getting health insurance?? you think people should die so you can make slightly more money off your website?

theres this lincoln ad on netflix where a little girl sells hot cocoa in the snow and is making the cups and then theres this old man just ringing a bell asking for money and she feels bad?? and gives him all the money she earned?? i hate that old man how dare he take that from her

reverse air bud about a man entering a dog fighting ring

Instagram could easily solve every pain point and user issues with a single update. It wouldn't take much work and they certainly have the data about those existing problems. They're not trying to, because they're building their app to chase interoffice C-suite bullshit goals.

I would never pay for sex but at the same time think we should never demean sex workers. Now, the problem Im facing is that I can’t think of any other term to describe Olivia Nuzzi outside of “disgusting whore” and I don’t want ppl to mistake that for denigrating SWers

hey @espn.com i'm not watching a fucking 15 second ad for a 10 second highlight, get a goddamn grip

the Wolf of Wall Street dilemma

a truly wearying aspect of this current internet is how fast everyone adopts popular phrasings. it's so inauthentic and fabricated and it really grates on me hearing the same "I was today years old" or "nobody:" rote bullshit from people with no imagination or individuality. ads do it too! it sucks!

i figured out why i don't like jokic, despite his otherworldly ability and undeniable talent: he doesn't run or jump

my boomer complaint is i don't want camera people on the playing field. i don't care if it's the endzone or the dugout. get out of there. feels like a privacy violation

great day for the legal theory of "not guilty if it's funny enough"

if the Dems stop running unlikable centrist politicians with heavy cop energy, we’re unstoppable

Disney is saddened at the passing of Vice President Dick Cheney, pictured below swallowing a live canary. The influential (derogatory) Wyomingite will be served to his wife and daughters, bones and all, following the weekly hunger games at their private Iraqi torture prison.

bengals and bears was like watching two absolutely hammered dudes with beer guts swinging wildly at each other with their eyes closed outside a bar at closing time

if they bring in kershaw theyre losing

jesus CHRIST fox throwing cap one ads in between hitters is a fucking clown show of a production

love ANY religious person getting on tv and yelling that their faith - which is categorically unhinged, ridiculous bullshit - prevents anyone from criticizing their own personal unhinged bullshit that isn't related to their sky daddy fairy tale

Counterpoint: This sucked. Both of these were annoying to deal with. Typing on the flip phone was a nightmare, the pics were garbage. The corded headphones fritzed out, wouldn't work in one ear, and they wouldn't reach from my pants pocket to my ears. airpods+iphone is 1,000,000,000 times better

Crap, I bet the under.

You finally cracked the case: trump was being dishonest about his actions

I’ve never bought bradley cooper’s charisma but damn him wearing full eagles gear in an uber eats ad is really a nadir

the redzone channel is now putting ads OVER live action. fuck you nfl don’t u already make billions a year?? u have to ruin the only good thing u had? god damn it

what's the term for when an artist is just on all the time and you non-consensually hear all their music?? you've never once WANTED to listen to their album, never bought or pressed play, but it's in so many commercials/movies/whatever else that you have songs memorized against your will

yeah man that’ll unravel the propaganda machine. the billionaires who control the world are just a Rumpelstiltskin-type word game away from utter defeat

why would any woman at the place of many mothers name a newborn girl FURIOSA

WHAT A FUCKING THROW BAKER

*walks by an insane person on the street talking insane nonsense to themself* “well just burn the whole city down”

Inside Of Light Fixture Everything Moth Dreamed And More https://theonion.com/inside-of-light-fixture-everything-moth-dreamed-and-more/

“you’ll never know the fear of being in a woman’s only space and imagining that a specific type of crime that’s never actually happened COULD ONE DAY HAPPEN! BOO! I live my life unafraid of the cishet men who commit all the crimes, because I use my imagination to find villains instead” -jk rowling

Sometimes, if you're lucky, you can capture much of their goofiness in one photo. 🪶

Pete Davidson finally getting to perform to the people responsible for his father dying on 9/11

I can't stop thinking about the Riyadh Comedy Festival. A Saudi prince watching Whitney Cummings and being like, "That is what dating on the apps is like. She nailed it"

like ten years ago hulu was $7 with no ads and it was perfect. now ad free is $20+ and the app sucks and it crashes once a day. fuck disney, fuck the greedy executive class of vultures that ruin goddamn everything

tylenol should be gearing up for the biggest, easiest lawsuit in the history of the world

never been a witness to the ravages of therapy-speak but i just had a friend who was upset at his partners request to send some sexy chat during her workday (to help ease the suckiness of work), because he said he didn’t want to be in charge of “regulating her emotions” jfc bruh

It's not complicated: Politicians who want to grift are right and centrist. Politicians who want to help people are left to far left. The think tanks and consulting ground exist to grift. So they advise right wing positions, because that's where the grift is

can someone explain why defector is running nate jackson blogs? does someone on staff owe him money? reading his fourth grader prose on that site is like the redzone channel showing a high school football game

is sabrina carpenter some sort of psy-op? someone that normal looking with that bad of a voice cannot possibly be a famous sex symbol singer

refs giving packers the game, huh?

Canceling Disney+ because they canceled Kimmel is well and good, but if you really want to make them pay attention, there is no better way than fucking Goofy's wife

every time the right wing gets their dander up about some bullshit my favorite part is when they make up some starbucks oppression that's invariable something to do with a name on the cup. it's both hilarious and the most pathetic piece of manufactured outrage imaginable

you couldn't come up with a better term than CHICKENHAWK to define the right's podcaster theocratic class and it's honestly pretty wonderful the top 3 shitbags here are all on the record bitching about being accurately described as gutless bitches

objectively the funniest thing that's come from this trump administration is kash patel's stupid fucking face

Stephen Miller and JD are so detestable, unlikeable, unelectable and grotesque it's hard to put into words and THEYRE THE GUYS BEHIND THIS PUTRID UNPOPULAR OAF! How can we not have an opposition party to these disgusting cowards??

Trump: everyone in the US died from drugs last week Reporter: [nods] Trump: so we must murder on the high seas Reporter: [nods] Trump: I caught Trix rabbit once Reporter: [nods] Trump: the cock on that bunny Reporter: [nods] Trump: bigger than you think Headline: Trump Policy Seeks To Save Lives

jesus christ dude the "media" is not some aw-shucks naive entity that's trying its best and got fooled, the media is by and large owned by BILLIONAIRES who are stoking the culture wars to distract from their Oligarchical control of the country. grow the fuck up kevin

yeah it’s cute to give awards to kids but he wasn’t half as good as the Penguin