every crisis happening right now is because theres dumb fuck sociopaths in charge and they did something stupid, it’s maddening

Average dude tells you what’s going on 🫡

It me! I’m the melter ☺️

Got my first physical issue of The Onion today!

Damn, there goes Scott Adams. What a cautionary tale. An internationally famous syndicated comic demoted to Sinfest For Normies

I didn’t even know you could get A 2nd gen tundra in short cab short bed form! #weirdcarbs

NASA Discovers Distant Planet With Conditions That Could Sustain Rocks https://theonion.com/nasa-discovers-distant-planet-with-conditions-that-could-sustain-rocks/

Support artists as directly as possible & don’t steal their work !

Movies of 2026: 1) Lupin the 3rd the immortal Bloodline. Gorgeous weird sci-fi Lupin. Wild fight scenes for a (surprise to me/probably not spoiler) prequel movie

Bill Watterson could do Sin City but Frank Miller could not do Calvin and Hobbes

1/2 This actually isn’t new, they’ve been primarily postmarking mail when it goes through the sorting machines for a while now. The main difference is that they’ve been lowering the standards for first class mail times since 2010 when they started consolidating sorting centers

Ram ranch for the holidays

Watching Ziggy’s Christmas special. I forgot about this one

Ram Will Stop Headbutting Things When Headbutting Things Stops Working — theonion.com/ram-will-sto...

It’s moderately unsettling to hear Casey Kaysem count down the top xmas songs on the radio in 2025 since he’s been gone for over a decade

Santa says Starbucks gift cards are a NO, NO, NO! Baristas are striking because Starbucks refuses to remedy 100s of unfair labor practices and negotiate a fair contract. Stand with workers by skipping Starbucks gift cards. #NoContractNoCoffee solidaritywithbaristas.org

I realize as a kid Saab cars were super common where I lived & that was apparently not the case other places. I thought 9000’s were just the car yuppies drove

Came to ShopRite for the cold cuts, left with more sweet hot wheels

Pro tip: if you know where there’s a Honeybaked Ham store, they can sell you a hambone for soup! All you need to do is ask & they’ll sell it to you. Comes in handy for Sunday night Pea soup

The Internet is becoming increasingly unreliable. Buy books and read them.

Well, my mechanic retired, with is a good thing since he’s been neglecting some kind of arterial blockage. Unfortunately that means I need to find a Diagnostician & transmission guy now. 🤷🏻‍♂️

Decided to keep Journalism & 2nd class mail alive & subscribed to The Onion 👍🏿

Eco sport: neither eco nor sport

“I am grateful for what I am and have. My thanksgiving is perpetual.” – Henry David Thoreau

A movie that takes place where you’re from.

we heard you were talking shit

Seems about right

1/ The US Government has quietly removed a memorial to Black soldiers who died in World War II from the Netherlands American Cemetery in Margraten, South Limburg. The move follows a complaint from the right-wing Heritage Foundation to the American Battle Monuments Commission. ⬇️

Take the Mrs out to see Macy Gray for her birthday & find out that it’s been postponed & I didn’t get the email telling me 🤦🏻‍♂️ until I got there

I don’t know where they came from but I’ve seen at least 3 different Dodge Raiders (the rebadged Mitsubishi suv) buzzing around town!

I’m surprised that there hadn’t been a Star Trek LEGO thing before!this’d go great next to the death star set

Being who you are is punk as fuck.

The church is the people, not the building. And like the church, a country is the people, not the land. When you hate the people you hate the country.

Am I the only one who enjoys candy corn?

43 years ago today, readers the world over opened their newspapers and gazed upon cow tools for the first time. happy birthday cow tools. you look great.

If you're taking to the streets to protest today, know your rights.

it's not FOR us

I don’t understand how people just want to be assholes to others, to gleefully make other people’s lives miserable, just to be funny? To get social media cred? Like, there’s a very real reason that people belittle or make fun of others, and it’s because they’re insanely unhappy themselves.

Every fall I see dozens & dozens of black walnuts littering the streets & sidewalks & every fall i think “ next fall I should collect all these free nuts” & never follow through 🤷🏻‍♂️

Give folks their flowers No, I mean right now. Go tell someone you loved their work right now. They're on social media just say it, it has never been easier "They know how much people love--" no they don't go say it right now to a composer or artist or game dev or writer or anyone AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH

2 early 90s Audi Cabriolets on the same block! Burgundy on burgundy is a classy combination. I do know the white one is a local fellow’s daily driver.

This 100%

thinking about this screenshot from Columbo that makes it look like a 90s point-and-click adventure game

Whatever its merits, the internet has become a psychologically destructive force. You will be happier and healthier if you don’t spend excess amounts of time online. Stop scrolling. Water your garden. Read a book to your kids. You will not regret a life spent in this world.

This is literally how Houdini died

A Capri! I love the look of these little faux-roadster

I'M LOSING MY MIND, THE BEST AND MOST EXCITING YHING JUST HAPPENED, BABY SNAPPING TURTLES HATCHED IN MY YARD, HOLY FUCKING SHIT WOW HOLY FUCK

Because it was featured free on demand I decided to watch Kindergarten cop 2 & it plays it amazingly straight, which kinda defeats the “fish out of water” premise

12,000+ union baristas. Nearly 650 union elections won. We're strong, we're united, and we're ready for our union contracts. Happy Labor Day, Starbucks... it's your move.