no. we can’t have Jeopardy contestants talking like Melee pros with a wavebird

at some point the mainstream media or politicians will notice that every day of the last two months has been exactly the same and nothing’s going to change until the futures chart goes hockey stick

same thing that happened to buzz bissenger

My contribution to birth rate discourse is I have three kids in a single income family, just how I grew up, in the same town, making an amount of money you couldn’t admit on the internet, and we are significantly worse off than the prior generation. No idea how anyone is supposed to do it

Watched Project Hail Mary with the kids. Excellent movie for anyone 10 and up if they have the attention span. 8yo almost tapped out at various points where it was “boring” or “stupid” which was code for giving him enormous feelings

Greeks have only been white since the Carter administration what’s the big deal

The only thing I demand from Nolan’s Odyssey is that Polyphemus’ music should have a rippin sax solo

when you insult the wapo podcast guy just remember he won’t see it but your followers who have IPA moon face will :(

once on pace for a 486 home run season

my wife made a mom friend and they’ve progressed from drinks and video games to buying matching outfits for a show. I’m boned huh

who is paying Cilizza for premium access to “this changes EVERYTHING” posts like TPM during Trump 1

We’re well into the disinhibition phase of cognitive decline boys, time to set up the Polymarket contract for N-word, C-word or crying in public first

totally aside from morality or the direction of foreign policy, new presidents should declare a “sanctions jubilee” so they actually count as a threat. are these going to be comprehensive-er?

the dream of the 2010s is alive at Peacock

the “turnaround” just seemed to be saying “we’re doing a turnaround!” while not changing anything so one can understand the nerves

we’ve discovered a new rule for the @trashfuture.bsky.social “since 2009” drinking game

when you go to a trade summit it’s important to bring the guys who know exactly how badly your citizens are doing

when you get hurt in my house we dig into the secret stash known as “the C-section roxies”

on saturdays one puts on a DJ set and has a Pick Up Party

The fundamental problem of a peace deal is that Iran has zero confidence we won’t immediately renege again. Therefore I propose bringing back the medieval practice of exchanging hostages. Not Eric

the formula to calculate the area between the baseline and the curve is known as the Crime Integral

to be fair to Trump he was much closer to using “decimated” correctly than usuaal

Peppy Hare has aged worse than me

Apart from Vince McMahon, Ted Turner is the most influential figure of the last 50 years of wrestling. He was Vince's opposite, chaotic good to his chaotic evil: Southern, liberal, Incredibly successful at a million ventures outside of wrestling. No wonder Vince hated him.

we discovered the Tank-DPS-Healer triad in 1927

it is pretty obvious that the sole result of the “that’s why we need the ballroom” push was convincing a number of republicans that the “assassination attempt” was staged

currently the only compute SpaceX has is A. for Grok and B. has run them five billion into the red annually

former lolita express passenger declares: our teens must be hotter

My three kids share one room and the dog sleeps with them. I show this to my father, and we talk through a proustian reverie about him and his brother who died 20 years ago doing the same thing in the 1950s. I don’t know how to extract a point from this, I’m just sleeping in the boys room tonight

hat on a hat

not to “as a father of sons” post but the relentless promotion of gambling and vaping, the pet nazi influencers, shoving AI into schools etc is all a coordinated campaign that amounts to a war on young men

I have become a quadruple uncle

I don’t like “why am I hearing about this” posting but I’m genuinely pleased to not have learned what this is about and have no opinion on either of the principals or their sides

Fetterman is perfectly illustrative of the divide in the Democratic Party; the left declines to support the right’s preferred candidates over issues, and the right declines to support the party entirely because the left exists

Nintendo Labo walked…

if any of these strike you as implausible to come out of Don’s mouth, I am acquainted with the man who came up with and greenlit the “and twiiiins” campaign and he’s a deeply conservative 80 year old catholic veteran

lesbian-exclusive golf course

War has become Silly

[slams dick in screen door] the situation has not necessarily turned in my favor

if there’s one thing we can all agree on it’s that a point blank twelve gauge leaves very little forensic evidence

I don’t know why bluesky is up in arms about taking estrogen and eating pussy, that’s half of you people

the funniest possible outcome is that he gets off because of Heller. oh, is it a crime to go for a jog with my legal firearm now?

this is a very funny thing to say about an incredibly juiced 73 year old banker. the most powerful people on the planet are begging him to hold on to keep Trump from molesting the money

she’s dressed like a topgolf waitress

buddy of mine moved from Boston to SF for work ages ago and confirmed A. every stereotype about tech guys is true and B. if you are, conversely, a normal man you will be moving like an invasive species

my sister in Christ what do you think I think I am

kids are fuckin stupid

tip of the hat to @seraph76.bsky.social, this was attempted suicide by cop