Spent fifteen minutes trying to decide whether or not to get myself a quiche. These are the questions that plague me.

For my mostly woman following: this was my cute outfit tonight :)

ten years ago i was watching doug reruns with sam altman, like we often did together. i said it was a tragedy that doug funnie only had one outfit, and that someone should develop a program that would come up with different-colored vests for him to wear. "wait here," sam said. i never saw him again

Sometimes my dog will see some shit that pisses him off and start barking and it’s like Damb buddy you live your life so free why can’t I do that

In light of the current OpSec scandal, it seems like as good a time as any to re-up the video of Pete Hegseth accidentally hitting a man with an ax on Fox & Friends like a decade ago

JUNGE WAS PASSIERT HIER???? #gntm

The worst part of aging is that all of the vices you enjoyed when you were younger now put you in sensory hell and so you actually gotta be deadass in therapy

This is what it feels like to post on Bluesky knowing no creepy men will reply to me being weird.

I feel like I’m constantly being badgered by men who spiritually look like this. They’re just overly familiar enough to make you uncomfortable but never so far that you can point out what they’re doing and call them creeps.

It’s so beautiful when a woman has two, three, four ex husbands

Scrolling thru Facebook marketplace is for me what watching cocomelon is for iPad toddlers

$1.99 tamales $4/2 papusas carbontado de Fresca my guardian angel got me on the deluxe life is so good package

Could I really love a man with no swag?

#spätdienst 🧠🫀🦴🩸🦠🫁Na dann,auf!🫁🦠🩸🦴🫀🧠

I’m at my mom’s house making strawberry cheesecake in honor of spring. Life is so good baby.

In this time of acrimony and discord, I've decided to rise above it all and be the bigger person. Once I am physically larger than my enemies, I shall simply eat them

Jesus could have turned that water into Baja Blast, but he didn’t because you masturbate.

They need to turn me into a gelding so the horniness stops embarrassing me

Men who look like this are not who you think they are unfortunately

at hooters and theyre saying its Traphouse Thursday is this true?

No more leaving New York. You better stay up there.

Imane Khelif for Vogue Arabia

Buen provecho

Where can I purchase raw eggs at midnight?

Promo video I made for strong boys show that will now not happen. Videos of the chem plant in hopewell

A woman's appetite for food was once considered a barometer of her sexuality (if she liked to eat, she must be sexually voracious). Women were encouraged to eat sparingly in public to maintain sexual purity, setting the stage for centuries of diet culture. www.sexandpsychology.com/blog/podcast...

This is so funny because I found my current bangs while facing the four villainous Richmond men of my mental health apocalypse

Me in my office right now while they refund me my $500

I’m on hold while this company refunds me $500, and they’re playing this beautiful jazz song. Hell ye put that money back in my pocket skibidi doobidi doo beep bop bap and a rutitutituti yeeeeee these cats can really play babbbyyyyyy life can be so beautiful

Synth Expo in Ashland VA www.boredbrainmusic.com/event/emixx-...

Wait

More than ever.

I liked her outfit so much I asked to take a pic. Winter perfection. Hand her the Turkish delights

Me n my sushi baby, we’re going places

When tekno takes a cardboard box and shreds it up and leaves it places around the house that’s his Sistine chapel

Milk man

In the lab

Hell ye bby

The royal farms beckons me at midnight. I must make a pilgrimage to the big cock. Rooster Rex

Received a letter from POTUS today purporting to remove me as Commissioner and Chair of the FEC. There's a legal way to replace FEC commissioners-this isn't it. I've been so fortunate to serve the American people and stir up some good trouble along the way. That's not changing anytime soon.

I hope the entire Super Bowl is artificial intelligence ads. It's going to feel like the world is ending. Entire commercial breaks of commercials for companies promising to do both everything and nothing all at once. The disassociation bowl

Great job by Ruben (@rubenbolling.bsky.social).

Sometimes I'll just make thumbnail graphics for YouTube videos that don't exist.

the Hootie and the Blowfish version of me did not see this coming

Opening my hinge app to look at my harem

I wouldn’t be seen green I wouldn’t be caught dead And if I’m caught at all Then catch me in dead red […] You’ve got to be dead red You’ve got to have flash and flair And if you’re not seen red Then you shouldn’t be seen nowhere