one fictional character who would have been a terrific poster, just hell on wheels on this website? pippi longstocking

The root of all evil?

Pass the poop knife.

Frosty: The Winter Lich

"I saw mommy kissing Santa Claus" is a song about a mothers infidelity and a child losing trust in the world for the first time.

Weren't we suppised to invade Canada? What happened to that?

Go ninja go ninja go!

I miss the days when cartoons were played before movies at the theatres.

Starbucked internet.

I think I'll invade my neighbors place for their minerals.

Pass the poop knife.

"There's not enough room here for the both of us, Phantom Ringing!" -Tinnitus

What is the best Monster energy drink and ice cream pairing for a float? It's time to investigate.

Remember silent radio shows?

Whoever has the most real followers on youtube gets to be president.

This guy. This fuckin' guy This redneck nepo baby shows up at the 11th hour, hasn't done any of the work, but he's friends with the princess and got some afterschool tutoring with Space Gandalf and now he's got ideas. It's simple. We just blow up the Death Star. It'll be like shooting womp rats

As part of his quest to become human, Data ultimately exploded. Other AI would do well to follow his fine example.

You can save tremendous on your prophylactic budget if you just glue one on.

She 22 skidooed after getting razzledazzled by that skibidi Ohio rizz.

I am an older millennial. I possess the life skills that those in older and newer generations lack. I can balance a checkbook, address an envelope, fill out money orders and personal checks, navigate the interwebs, and forward emails using various devices. I am a god.

Hi, it's me again I have these calendars. They are so pretty. @megstampede.bsky.social made them. They have a bunch of animals on them, like crows and humpbacks and cuttlefish and salamanders. Each month has facts about the animals AND actions you can take to help them Get one at Squidfacts.net!

Please, if you have a senior in your life, consider treating their cellphone as you would their car. If they need help doing simple things on it, such as forwarding an email, it's time to revoke their privileges.

Look at that craftsmanship: the Euclidean geometry of it, the subtle imperfections in icing. All haloed by years of compounding jpeg comprehension artifacts. Someone made this with their hands and others shared it and reshared it, for years. AI could never

Fudge it. Let's start a war on Christmas. Please, everyone, play your favorite Halloween playlists in public spaces until New Years Day. And next year, start playing them on starting August 1st. Please urge your favorite bands to produce new spooky music for the season. #Christmas #Halloween

My genome has been cracked and analyzed, and while I have my doubts, the egg heads in lab coats insist that I'm not a family of raccoons in a trench coat.

My favorite Christmas song is You're A Mean One, Mr. Grinch.

I don't actually hate Christmas music. It's just that many christmas songs grate on my nerves, or are objectively horrible, or are overdone and terrible covers of classics.

Happy There Is A Circulatory System Walking Through The Kitchen Day to all who celebrate.

The 1% want you dead The 1% want you dead The 1% want you dead The 1% want you dead The 1% want you dead The 1% want you dead The 1% want you dead The 1% want you dead The 1% want you dead The 1% want you dead THE👏1👏%👏WANT👏YOU👏DEAD👏 (but only after they're done exploiting your body & mind)

A Wonderlic prescreening assessment instead of just setting up a job interview? Eat shit. I hope your expensive property lot and show room becomes an emergency landing pad for our space overlords.

I bet I could do a far worse job than Musk. They should award that trillian to me instead.

Parallel parking Boeings B-3 Bomber prototype in front of my house is a breeze with autopilot.

Maybe there should have been a war on Christmas to keep it in its place. #Christmasmusic

That the country hasn't burned already ages ago the moment radios and stores began playing Christmas music the day after Halloween is a testament to our societys acceptance of capitalism and rampant consumerism, and I hold at least half of you personally responsible.

Image if Jeeves won the search engine war. Our androids would be powered by a know-it-all butler.

The Cadbury Bunny commercial was my favorite part of Easter.

My public school teachers showed this movie to us in class, for educational purposes. (The lesson was that the US was a nation of immigrants and that's what made us great.)

Mu coworker is clearly a psychopath, choosing a radio station that's playing Christmas music. I don't know what the town ordinance is, but this is clearly aggravated sound pollution.

Good morning, rooster.

My political strategy is to simply rename myself "No Confidence," and run for office without telling anyone.

New awareness campaign

The referenced book was another thing that incensed Dick Cheney. In 1981, his wife Lynne wrote the novel "Sisters." Its lesbian themes proved problematic for Lynne "Family Values" Cheney. Fortunately for her, it was out of print. But our editor found a copy and we published steamy excerpts.

"Yall didn't listen to me and now you're going to eat Soylent Green." -Captain Planet

RIP Dick Cheney, you taught me it was okay to be "weird," and to shoot my enemies in the face until they apologize.

What psychopath chose Wednesday to be the start of the pay period.

The Energizer Bunny has the chance to do the funniest thing.

Communism is Perpetual Halloween. Halloween Communism

In the year 2026, all Trick-orTreaters will receive their candy via Door Dash.

Let's play a game: Each reply will unlock your new unlikely kink.