i took a louisville slugger to both headlights slashed a hole in all four tires maybe next time, he’ll think before he parks in a legal and public parking spot outside a neighbor’s house

Hooray, I can access bluesky again.

Furious at the memory of heroin desteoying my favlrite band, Mad Season. 😡

@bayesianboy.bsky.social Hi Mel, hope you've been well!

you can very much say that political violence is wrong but also admit there are levels of corporate malfeasance that should be considered fighting words

FROM: rfk jr TO: all fda employees SUBJECT: For final drug candidate approval, kill & skin bear & wear its skin & submit pictures of you wearing skin of bear TEXT: (blank)

I'm enjoying that I was the last one before a benchmark number. 999 feels better than 1001 for some reason.

I see hidden likes has become a line in the sand.

I am a single issue voter for 2024. I'm going to grill Trump and Biden on is how they will solve the problem of non-functional coin machines at laundromats. Whomever delivers me from this hell better wins my vote.

@eurodollar.bsky.social gm dd. I hope you have a wonderful day. 🫂

@eurodollar.bsky.social dd!!! Did you get into trouble or are you just taking a break on twitter due to the toxicity going on?

I would like to move all the humidity to the winter

My pen committed suicide. 😔

One day I'll solve the conundrum of why eating lunch makes me tired, but only at work.

The weather woke up at pm last nigh and chose violence. What did my plant do to deserve all the trouble its had today?!

Walk in to schedule an eye exam, happen to get a one set up for basically right now. Lmao.

the chair understander has logged on

PSA: DON'T TURN INTO A CRAB or you might fall victim to a BARNACLE which will REPLACE YOUR GONADS, CHANGE YOUR SEX, MIND CONTROL YOU, & MAKE YOU SPAWN MORE BARNACLES LIKE THEY WERE YOUR OWN Carcinization is not the answer please turn back!!!

One of my favorite youtube channels is a 40k parody channel that takes video clips, edits a piece of 40k art around it, and just makes a title. 80% of it is Alex Jones and it's amazing how 40kcore he is.

BlueSky is boring bc theres no main character of the day to dunk on therefore i volunteer to be the sacrificial lamb dunk on me plz we need engagement on here

@ellegist.ingroup.social I have a silly idea. Wat if: we have a group chat of sorts off twitter so the homies can get together and you can keep coming up with ideas to entice me to Europe for one reason or another.

@mimi10v3.com Whatcha think about me making a discord server for our lemur gc?

I have an immense need to congratulate powerbottomdad for getting married and am unable to do so on twitter. This is unforgivable.

A WHOPPING TWO POSTS TO GROUP CHATS AND THEN LIMITED. WHAT. THE. HECK.

Lmao, did bluesky break again?

Can't tell if a car accident happened or my landlord dropped something really loud over. Or fireworks. Or a gunshot.

Oh, it seems the one invite every two weeks thing is working for me now.

AOC really needs to lean into this kind of content more.

*shouts into void* EVERYTHING DOES MATTER!

@daisyrecursion.com I have more warhammer for you in the twitter dms. :P I think you'd enjoy this one a good bit.

“please don’t call them skeets” >skeets sticks “please give us time to work on things” >everyone tags devs constantly “this is a decentralized and federated protocol” >users post incessantly about how they hate decentralization

What happened to dark mode? Why is it missing?

I have missed an explanation of a new update. Idk what "My Feeds" is for. TL;DR?

that is the best dinosaur painting I have ever seen

Scamming advertisers is Google's business model https://youtu.be/McM3CfDjGs0

Kinda surprised that the pc version of the site doesn't have emojis yet, tbh. I have zero idea how quick/easy it is to get that going, but just kinda surprises me that it's not available yet. *Not commenting in order to get it rushed, just find it cool that aesthetics isn't the thing focused on.

Incredible that I got 8 hours of uninterrupted sleep and still woke up tired.

goddamit, Elena, are you letting that lobster that hangs out by the pier seduce you with song again

I experimented with being covered in lime today. The reviews were mixed (mostly people claiming their stomach contents mixed up in the toilet).

Let the algos hit the store Let the algos hit the store Let the algos hit the ... Stoooooore!!!!

Did you know orcas flip great white sharks onto their back, which causes a state of paralysis known as tonic immobility. They then eat their livers.

My road rage has radicalized me into getting intensely interested in seeing how it is possible to set up a train system in my state so I can stop seeing people on the road.

yee claw

when the gatekeep inn and the girlboss inn are both full

It's possible the first time Elizabeth Holmes ever actually sees blood is her prison tattoo.