Mitt
@alexmitt.bsky.social
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Yinzer fighting for sustainability and against fascism
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Mitt
onion person
2 days ago
watching the UKs green party elect an actual unafraid leftist into leadership and see party membership double in under a month is once again endless proof that if you stand up for leftist causes and treat the electorate like adults, you’ll win people over easily
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Mitt
WuTangIsForTheChildren
5 days ago
Protect the Portland frog at all costs đź’Ş
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Sam Altman should be tarred and feathered
6 days ago
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Liv Agar
6 days ago
They should invent a way for women to have gay sex with men
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@brennanleemulligan.bsky.social
might not be able to win, but
@zohrankmamdani.bsky.social
absolutely can and will!
add a skeleton here at some point
7 days ago
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Mitt
Tim Onion
8 days ago
Folks, it's happening. We're releasing Jeffrey Epstein: Bad Pedophile this Thursday at 7 p.m. Mark your calendars. Get excited to know even less about Jeffrey Epstein.
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The Onion Investigates: Jeffrey Epstein
YouTube video by The Onion
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XjhSoGcQhWU
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About 5 of them are even half decent!
add a skeleton here at some point
9 days ago
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Clara Jeffery
16 days ago
A victim of the shooting at the ICE facility is UNCONSCIOUS, in critical care, may not survive, his wife is about to give birth, and ICE IS KEEPING HIM SHACKLED TO HIS HOSPITAL BED: I just unlocked a new level of rage.
www.npr.org/2025/09/27/n...
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'I want his name to be known': Wife of immigrant injured at ICE facility shooting speaks out
Stephany Gauffeny says she wants the world to know that her husband, Miguel Angel Garcia-Hernandez, is more than "just an immigrant or a detainee, or a criminal."
https://www.npr.org/2025/09/27/nx-s1-5555467/wife-of-immigrant-injured-at-dallas-ice-facility-shooting-speaks-out?utm_source=firefox-newtab-en-us
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This is gonna ruin the tour
add a skeleton here at some point
16 days ago
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Me if my short friend gets detained by ICE and I gotta bust him out
18 days ago
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Mitt
The Onion
20 days ago
Forget everything you already know about America's most notorious dead person. Jeffrey Epstein: Bad Pedophile is in select theaters October 2.
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I posted a meme so good he decided to stop ghosting
22 days ago
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Me looking up the taint of the snotty church lady who called me a homophobic slur as she’s raptured
22 days ago
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Honestly happy that Tylenol will get cheap as fuck now lol
22 days ago
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Rapture? I hardly know her!
23 days ago
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Mitt
kate bush’s husband
25 days ago
Sir... this is ... literally.. a Wendy's....
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Mitt
onion person
28 days ago
the most important thing for everyone in this country right now is to practice self preservation. they are entirely rolling back the first amendment and the ability to protest, be careful
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scary tall bart
29 days ago
I don’t get it. He was raised in a Christian household with plentiful access to guns, zero realistic future, and spent all his time on the computer? That’s like half the white men in this country *Everything suddenly dawns on me* Aw fuck
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Robert Reich
29 days ago
Illinois State Senator Karina Villa sprang into action to protect her community from ICE raids, alerting neighbors to their rights and chasing off masked agents. This is how you stand up to authoritarianism. We should all be inspired by Sen. Villa's courage.
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Mitt
onion person
about 1 month ago
trump must be super relieved no ones talking about how he was best friends and close associate with jeffrey epstein lol
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The Onion
about 1 month ago
Witnesses Assumed Charlie Kirk Shooter Was Just Ordinary Gunman On School Campus
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Witnesses Assumed Charlie Kirk Shooter Was Just Ordinary Gunman On School Campus
OREM, UT—As law enforcement officials search for a person of interest in the assassination of 31-year-old Turning Point USA co-founder Charlie Kirk, witnesses on the scene at Utah Valley University ad...
https://theonion.com/witnesses-assumed-charlie-kirk-shooter-was-just-ordinary-gunman-on-school-campus/
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“He was a father and you should feel bad that his kids were there!” Normally yes, but he literally advocated for children watching public executions. He was just leading by example, like a good father should.
about 1 month ago
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kate bush’s husband
about 1 month ago
Imagine being such a piece of shit that more people are mourning a Japanese race horse that lost every single race over you.
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about 1 month ago
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Live by the gun, die by the bullets
about 1 month ago
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Despite his face still being fully intact, he will still have a closed casket viewing for looking Like That™️ Anyway, RIP bozo lol
about 1 month ago
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This is how you reach voters. Put this in a textbook and beat establishment dems over the head with it.
add a skeleton here at some point
about 1 month ago
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Trump is a double agent for the war on cars
add a skeleton here at some point
about 1 month ago
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#caturday
with Gumby, my toothless little baby
about 1 month ago
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Mitt
Tim Onion
about 1 month ago
The Onion News Network truck is currently stationed outside the Broadview ICE Detention facility just outside of Chicago.
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Mitt
Joseph Fink
about 1 month ago
a reminder that you can still sign up for the settlement if they stole your work
www.anthropiccopyrightsettlement.com/contact
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Don’t worry, I’ll vote so hard! The hardest to have ever been voted. Because between now and next year, there is absolutely nothing else to be done. Just wait anxiously to vote.
add a skeleton here at some point
about 1 month ago
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“Wake the fuck up samurai- we got a delivery to make”
add a skeleton here at some point
about 1 month ago
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Mitt
Kristi Yamaguccimane
about 1 month ago
I feel like this is far more insane than most people realize
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Genuinely funny that a profile shot is the only way he can look somewhat normal
add a skeleton here at some point
about 1 month ago
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Mitt
maple cocaine
about 1 month ago
So sick of these centrist impurity tests. Not everyone can meet your standards of being a huge piece of shit, sometimes you have to just grit your teeth and vote for someone good even if that goes against your principles
add a skeleton here at some point
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Mitt
onion person
about 1 month ago
incredible to talk like this after consistently refusing to publish the epstein files
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Who’s gonna die first, Bluesky or trump
about 1 month ago
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Mitt
The War on Cars
about 2 months ago
We are not welcoming Rudy Giuliani to The War on Cars.
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PLACE YA BETS! PLACE YA BETS! DRAFT KINGS HAS THE NEW HOTTEST BET ON WHOS GONNA CROAK FIRST! WILL IT BE DONALD “THE ORANGE MENACE” TRUMP, OR MAYOR “I SWEAR OFFICER, I HARDLY KNOW HER” GIULIANI? PLACE! YA! BETS!!!!
about 2 months ago
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Mitt
Tim Onion
about 2 months ago
Refuse to be called woke by someone who talks like a Harry Potter side character having a stroke. “Noshing on a poncy porous plimsoll?” Go to a hospital.
add a skeleton here at some point
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Schrödinger’s president
about 2 months ago
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I appreciate this practice run because it reminds me that I definitely need to get a bottle of champagne at the ready for the real thing
about 2 months ago
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Me at the White House
about 2 months ago
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James Dobson died and the temperatures dropped like 20 degrees, proving my theory that he was a literal flaming hell demon
about 2 months ago
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Mitt
Emma™
about 2 months ago
if it walks like a duck and talks like a duck, it's not a duck. ducks don't talk. and I'm pretty sure they waddle.
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Mitt
Robert Reich
about 2 months ago
Starbucks’ CEO made 6,666x more than the company's median employee in 2024. This was the widest CEO-to-Worker pay gap in the entire S&P 500. Remember this before you order your next pumpkin spice latte.
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Mitt
Scott Nye
about 2 months ago
His wish came true
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Mitt
old uncle BATface
about 2 months ago
your gym teacher and your english teacher are getting married
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